A Bond So Strong
by rororogers
Summary: Sequel to my story Beginning of Friendship ... this one is again told from Ike and Buck's POV's.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Yup dont own nothing. Just enjoy taking the characters for a ride.**

**A/N: This is a sequel to my story Beginning of Friendship, Brankel1 thought it deserved a sequel and I have to admit I liked the idea of a sequel. Hope ya'll enjoy it.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 - Buck's POV<strong>

We've been working for the Express for around three months. A lot has happened in that time. Jimmy and Cody no longer seem to get into it anymore. I think Cody finally realized that pulling jokes on Jimmy is a good way to get shot. It's Kid and Jimmy now that seem to get into it. They had a knockdown drag out that Teaspoon had to put a stop to after Kid had decked Jimmy in front of Tompkins' store to keep him from fighting a gun for hire by the name of Longley. In the end Jimmy ended up killing Longley anyway.

After that Ike witnessed a stage coach massacre. When he identified the man to Sam Cain, the town marshal and Emma's beau the station was attacked by his gang. Ike tried to leave and make Blue Creek on his own. We wouldn't let him do that. We again stuck together like a family. It was a good thing too because Ike would never had made it if he had gone on alone. Of course once we got there I ended up in a little bit of trouble when I was trying to be a gentleman by helping a lady I had bumped into with her packages. It had been a trap and I walked right into it. If it hadn't been for Lou realizing the lady fainting in the courtroom was the same one that I had walked off with the night before I would have been shot when Ike took the stand. But thanks to Lou, Cody was able to kill the man before he could pull the trigger.

It wasn't long after that that the Kiowa started attacking Pony Express riders and way stations. My brother Red Bear left a message for me at one of the way stations. I met up with him to find out he wanted me to return to the Kiowa. I tried to explain to him that I was not welcome among our people. I might as well be white in their eyes. Red Bear just did not see it. I told him I had found a place among the riders, that we were as one that we were family. He cut me and said he would grieve for me; I was dead in his eyes for choosing my white family.

The next day I got into a fight with Jimmy and the other riders. They thought I had betrayed them to my brother. I decided to leave the Pony Express. I asked Teaspoon to give Ike my silver bracelet that my mother had made for me and to try to make him understand. When I came back for my stuff the next day after praying to the rising sun, Kid rode into the yard to tell me that Ike had been taken by the Kiowa. I left to rescue my brother.

When I saw Ike tied to the wooden structure I jumped from my horse and rushed to him pulling my knife from my boot to cut him loose. Red Bear stopped me before I could free him. He tried to tell me that Ike was the enemy. I told him he just carries the mail, that Ike wasn't even a warrior. I told my brother that if he released Ike I would ride in the war parties. I just would not ride against my brothers in the pony express. Red Bear said I had to prove I was worthy. I asked him how I was to do that.

Red Bear took me to see the man of dreams. He made me go on a vision quest to see what I must endure to be recognized as a true Kiowa, to be a warrior. I was tied to the same structure that Ike had been, hot coals placed under my feet. I don't know how long I hung there. After I was cut down I was beaten with reeds by the other warriors, they were beating out my white demons. And then in order to prove my spirit was Kiowa I had to cross a pit of rattle snakes and climb to the top of a large rock before the sun set. If my spirit was true Kiowa my spirit guide would protect me. It did and I proved myself to my people. I made my brother proud. I was Kiowa, I had proved it. But Red Bear still sent me away; he said the love of my white family was still too strong in my heart. I would always be Kiowa but I must live in the white world; that is where I belonged. Red Bear told me to never look back. And as I rode from the village I didn't.

**Ike's POV**

The past three months have been great and terrible at the same time. Buck and I have found a family, a place to belong. But we also have come close to being killed on several occasions. I almost got Buck and the rest of our family killed after I witnessed a stage coach massacre.

I could've prevented the whole thing if I had just shot Nickerson when I had the chance, but he hadn't been armed and I just didn't think it right to shoot an unarmed man. I should have, he was pure evil. I couldn't even tell Buck what I had seen; even when he asked me to, he told me he couldn't help if he didn't know what was wrong. It wasn't until I literally ran into Nickerson in Sweetwater that I finally told what I had saw. Sam arrested the man after I made the identification. Sam was going to transport him to Blue Creek to stand trial.

But before we could leave Nickerson's gang attacked the station. They killed one of Sam's deputies and seriously wounded the other. I couldn't let my family suffer because of me, so I tried to leave and make Blue Creek alone. While I was saddling my horse my 'brothers' walked in and began saddling theirs. I tried to tell them this wasn't their fight, but Jimmy said that when someone shoots at him it becomes his fight. I tried to tell them they didn't want them, they wanted me. Kid said then they come after us all. There was no arguing with them.

It was a good thing they came with me. I would never have made it on my own. When we stopped to rest the horses at one of the express rely stations, I was taken captive by a couple of mountain men. If it hadn't been for Lou's quick thinking to cut their cinches they would have gotten away with me. As we were tying them up we spotted a group of men heading our way, Cody stayed behind to pick some off with his long rifle.

After we got cornered in a box canyon, Kid gave us some cover fire with the volley gun that Jimmy just had to bring along so we could get away. We rode into Blue Creek just after dark. The look on Nickerson's face when I walked into the jail was worth it. The town marshal put me in another cell for my protection while Sam took the boys out for dinner on him. He was going to bring me back a plate.

The next morning I found out that Buck had been taken hostage the night before. Nickerson's men had him; the note said that if I took the stand Buck was dead. We had no guarantee that he was even still alive. I told them I wanted to do the right thing; I wanted to see Nickerson hang. I told them that I had seen my parents and sister killed and that was when I lost my voice. I told them I would testify. Kid promised they would find Buck before I took the stand.

Inside the courthouse I was scared to death. When the judge called me to the stand I looked over at Lou, she just shook her head. They hadn't found Buck but I took the stand anyway. That's when a woman fainted and was led outside. Lou fought her way out of the courtroom and followed her. I tried staling as long as I could. When I heard the shot I knew Buck was dead. But then I heard a commotion in the doorway of the courthouse. I looked up and saw Buck as he rushed in. He told me to tell them so when the judge asked one last time if the man I saw was in the courtroom I stood up and walked over to Nickerson, standing right in front of him I pointed, someone took a picture of it.

Shortly after that there was some trouble with the Kiowa. I knew Buck felt torn. He belonged to both worlds; he could see both sides of the issue. When he got into a fight with Jimmy and the others, and I hate to admit it even I doubted his loyalties, Buck left. He told Teaspoon he was going to quit, that he just would cause problems for the riders as long as he was here. Teaspoon told me just before I left on a run with Kid. When we stopped to talk for a moment I told him that Buck had quit, that's when we were ambushed by a raiding party.

Kid managed to get away but I was captured. I thought I was going to die. I kept signing the sign for friend over and over. They beat me and tied me to a strange wooden structure. I wondered how long they would torture me before I was killed. But then Buck was there and he was freeing me. I don't know what was said between him and his brother because Buck never taught me Kiowa but whatever it was it earned me my freedom. I was sent from the village. Kid met me not to far away. He wanted me to go back to Emma's but I couldn't leave Buck. So we stayed and watched as Buck was tortured. At first I thought they were going to kill him and then I realized what was going on. Buck was going through his trials. He was proving he was Kiowa.

After the trials were over I saw Red Bear speaking to Buck, when the conversation was over Buck looked devastated. Then Buck simply stood up and put his black vest on before going to his horse and mounting up. As he rode from the village a young girl gave him an eagle feather, the symbol of bravery. Me and Kid met him as he left the village. Kid handed him his belongings and said let's go home and we did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Buck's POV**

It wasn't long after my ordeal with my brother's tribe that we ran into more trouble. I had just finished helping Teaspoon conduct a horse sale, I acted as the translator. While I was in the corral with Jimmy and Kid, Cody rode into the yard hollering for help. Ike had been robbed; he had been shot and then struck his head when he fell off his horse. He didn't look good. I was terrified when we couldn't get him to wake up. We rushed him into town to the doctor.

I don't know how long we had been waiting in front of the doctor's office when the doctor finally came out to talk to us.

"How is he?" I asked.

"I got the bullet out. I'll say this, he's damn lucky. An inch either way and that fall would have killed him." the doctor said.

"What's that mean?" I asked.

"Well if his luck holds he should wake up in a few days, if not …" the doctor said leaving the thought hanging.

I knew that if Ike didn't wake in a few days he probably wasn't going to ever wake up again. I couldn't bear the thought of it. Since there was nothing more the doctor could do we brought Ike back to Emma's where we could take care of him. We all took turns sitting with him and spooning broth into his mouth to keep him nourished.

Sam came out to dinner one night shortly after Ike had been attacked. We were discussing what had happened to Ike when Lou walked in the door. I could tell right away something was wrong with the young woman I just didn't know what. I was just about to ask but Kid beat me to it.

"Something wrong Lou?" Kid asked.

"My brother and sister were taken." Lou replied not looking at us, I think she was trying to hide the tears that were in her eyes.

"What are you going to do?" Jimmy asked.

"Find them." Lou answered.

"Do you need some help Lou?" Sam asked.

"Thanks marshal but this is a family problem, I can handle it on my own." Lou replied. "Emma tell Teaspoon I'm riding out in the morning." Lou said before walking out the door.

"First Ike and now Lou." Cody mumbled.

I just shook my head. I knew getting her kid brother and sister out of the orphanage was one of the reasons she had taken this job. I also knew it wasn't the only reason, something had happened to Lou in the past that made her want to hid the fact that she was a girl. If my suspicions were correct, Lou had been through a lot but had come out stronger for it. Lou was an incredibly strong woman.

The next morning Ike woke up much to my relief and that of our family. He was still weak and would probably be stuck in bed for another day at least but he was able to give us a description of the man that had robbed him.

"Sounds like Red, he's probably working for Boggs." Sam said.

"What was that name Sam?" Lou asked suddenly having come in to say goodbye to Ike.

"Red?" Sam asked.

"No the other one." Lou replied

"Boggs?" Sam asked, Lou just nodded. "Boggs is a gunrunner, last I heard he had got run out of the country after selling some guns to the apache. He works with the most despicable type of men imaginable."

After getting the location of Red's favorite hangouts we left. Lou decided to come with us. I'm sure it had something to do with Boggs I just wasn't sure why. We caught up to Red in Blue Creek and managed to get back the stolen mail. Everything was still inside the pouch. We got the location of Boggs from him as well. Red was released into our custody so he could lead us there.

When we stopped to make camp one night, Lou slipped off before we woke. How she managed to do that without waking me, I have no idea. I was able to track her to Boggs encampment. We found her horse but there was no sign of Lou anywhere.

Red informed us that if she was still alive she would probably be held in a shed on the back of the house. The house was surrounded by a high fence and was surrounded by tents and sheds full of cutthroats and thieves. The sheds were full of gunpowder, dynamite, basically if it went boom it was down there.

I hated to point it out but Lou might not even still be alive. We had no way of knowing, but if there was even the slightest chance she was we were going after her. We came up with a plan. Kid would climb down the rock face to get behind some of the guards. Jimmy and Cody would go in close while I stayed behind and shot flaming arrows at all the stuff that goes boom to create a distraction.

The plan worked better than I thought it would. Kid and Jimmy were able to get inside, while me and Cody slipped around to the meeting point to wait on them. When they finally met up with us, Lou was with them along with her brother and sister. She had been beaten pretty badly but at least she was alive. The kids didn't look any worse for wear just a little frightened.

The look however on Jimmy's face let me know right away that Lou's secret had come out. Jimmy didn't say anything as we made our way back towards the orphanage. Ike met up with us shortly before we got there. That night Lou finally brought up the fact that she was girl, she asked Jimmy to let her tell the rest of us.

To say that Cody was surprised was an understatement. I looked at Ike and realized he had known all along. I just smirked but didn't say a thing. Cody asked Lou questions for the rest of the night about the fact that she was a girl.

The next morning we returned the children to the orphanage. I had to smile as we rode into the yard. It had been roughly three years since Ike and me had set foot on this property. I really was surprised that Lou had been here at the same time as we were, granted from what she had told us last night, she had only been here a year when she left. So I figured we most have come to the mission around the same time and she left a year later. It was no wonder why we didn't remember her, besides most of the girls just ignored us anyway.

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><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

I had been bushwhacked. The last thing I remember was seeing Cody just ahead and then nothing. When I opened my eyes the next time I was in Emma's house. Emma called the guys yelling I was awake. I wondered how long I had been out of it. Sam was there getting the description of who attacked me. I gave the best description I could, Buck translating for me. Lou walked in at that moment to see how I was doing. I gave her a smile and waved.

That's when Sam said something about a guy named Boggs and I thought Lou looked like she had been slapped. I didn't know who this Boggs fella was but I could tell Lou did. After getting the location of Red's favorite hangouts, that's the guy who attacked me, the guys rode out after him. I was still too weak to go along but I said I would catch up with them in a couple of days if they weren't back.

So two days later I met up with them. Lou had her brother and sister with her and I found out how she knew Boggs. Boggs was her father, no wonder she looked like she had been slapped if that man treated his family the way I heard he treated his men. I also found out that Lou's secret had come out. I guess Jimmy must have found out somehow so Lou told the rest of us.

The only one who was shocked was Cody. Me and Buck already knew and so did Kid. Jimmy had found out before Cody. Lou however didn't seem to notice that me and Buck weren't shocked because Cody kept her plenty distracted by asking bunches of questions.

The next morning we returned the children to the orphanage. When we rode into the yard I shot a look over at Buck. His face held the same expression that I'm sure was on mine. We had not been back here in three years. How we hadn't recognized Lou as one of the girls from the mission I don't know. She hadn't been there long so that might have been the reason.

After Lou said her goodbyes to her siblings we rode out and headed for home. As the station came into view Lou pulled her horse to a stop and we all stopped alongside her. She let out a big sigh.

"What's wrong Lou?" Kid asked.

"Nothing." Lou said.

Jimmy just kept staring at her. "What?" she finally asked.

"A girl huh?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah, got a problem with that?" Lou asked.

"Nah … I just can't believe I didn't see it before. To tell ya the truth it's a relief the way you and Kid been looking at each other. Hell I've caught myself looking at ya like that." Jimmy said.

"Like what?" Lou asked.

"You know." Jimmy said blushing.

"No Jimmy I don't know." Lou teased.

"All I'm going to say is you're the prettiest boy I've ever seen." Jimmy said, I had to agree with him and the look on Buck's face told me he agreed as well.

"Why Jimmy." Lou said with a giggle.

"Don't let they go to your head Lou, I've seen him looking at his horse that way too." Cody piped in.

I snickered, was he talking about Jimmy or Kid? Jimmy just cut a look at Cody; I think he was thinking the same thing.

"I sure am going to miss riding with you boys." Lou said sadly.

"What are you talking about?" Jimmy asked.

"When Teaspoon finds out I ain't what he thinks I am he'll fire me." Lou said.

"Well who says we have to tell him." Jimmy said.

"You ride as tall as any man I've seen." Cody stated.

"And anybody who says differently will answer to me." Jimmy declared.

"And me." Buck added with a grin.

I hit my chest to get their attention, "And me."

"So you ain't going to tell?" Lou asked.

"Ain't nothing to tell." Kid said.

With that we all turned our horses towards home. Lou was our sister and we would protect her secret with our lives if we had too. But if I had to guess Kid wasn't the only one not thinking of her as a sister. I wondered how long it would be before that fact came out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Buck's POV**

It has been a few weeks since the others had learned Lou's secret. For the most part she was still treated the same. I however noticed Jimmy watching her more. I noticed it because I was watching Lou more. Now that I knew we had been in the same mission together I was trying to remember if she had been one of the girls that were mean to me and Ike or if she had been one of the few who had been nice to us. Was she the one that I used to tease and pull her braids because I thought she was pretty? I thought she might be; I doubted she would remember me though, she might have remembered Ike. A bald child would stand out a bit, of course so would a half breed.

So much has happened in these past weeks as well. We helped a runaway slave named Ulysses when the Missouri Militia was after him. He had killed his master after his master had beaten his mother to death. He did what any son would do. I was a little surprised when Kid agreed to help him get away from the militia, what with Kid being from the south and all but since Ulysses helped save Katy when she got stuck in the Vet's burning barn he earned Kid's trust. At first when the militia rode into town we thought Ulysses was done for. There were just too many of them for us to take care of but then the whole town of Sweetwater stood up to them. I guess there are more decent people in this town than I thought there were, even Tompkins stood against the militia.

After that Jimmy got into a bit of trouble when he got in a bit of a fight in the saloon with a writer called J.D. Marcus. Mr. Marcus decided to get even with Jimmy by writing a story about him. He called him Wild Bill Hickok, the fastest gun in the west. Because of this every gunslinger in the territory wanting to make a name for himself is going to be gunning for Jimmy now. He already had to face down Gabe Calder and some unknown wannabe gunslinger. He didn't kill Calder just ended his career as a gunslinger by shooting both his hands. The young boy who called Jimmy out wasn't so lucky. Jimmy fired without thinking and the boy paid the price. Me, Cody, and Ike decided to have a little talk with Marcus. If Teaspoon hadn't come in, Marcus might not have made it out of that room in one piece. Teaspoon told Marcus to write that Wild Bill retired, had a change of heart. But it didn't matter, the damage was already done. Jimmy would forever be known as Wild Bill.

A few days later we all got a surprise when Kid ran into his older brother Jed in town one day. Jed was dressed as an army officer and we all thought he was one. Kid was so proud of his brother. And we all liked him a lot. He even took us out to the saloon, not that we even remember much of that night. I do know we all remember the headaches and nausea we woke up with the next day. I swear I'll never touch another drop of alcohol as long as I live. But then the truth about who Jed was came out. Jed was a bank robber and he was after the shipment of gold that was in the Sweetwater bank. No matter how much we didn't want to, we helped Sam try to stop Jed and his gang from getting the money. When Jed tried to get away, Kid tried to stop him. Kid couldn't but Jimmy did, permanently. I can't imagine how Jimmy must have felt having to kill his best friend's brother. I just can't imagine it.

And then after that Kid ran into trouble when he took a Sioux warrior captive after finding him at one of our rely stations. The cabin had been burned and the people that ran it were killed. Kid took the Indian thinking he was responsible. I don't know how but somehow the Sioux warrior managed to take Kid captive. Kid had been missing for a couple of days and I knew Lou was worried so I went to talk to her. I tried to reassure her that Kid would be fine. And then she had to say that the people who had him were savages. I asked if she thought they were savages because they were murderers and had Kid or because they were Indians. I know she probably didn't mean it like it sounded but it still hurt. I walked off leaving her sitting on the porch. I didn't understand why it hurt so much for Lou to say that. It's not like I haven't been called worse, and she wasn't calling me a savage.

Ike came to talk to me in the barn. He found me in the hayloft.

"I don't want to talk about it Ike." I muttered. Ike just squatted down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

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><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

I don't know why but our strange little family just can't seem to stay out of trouble. We just can't seem to stick to delivering the mail. After we returned Lou's brother and sister to the orphanage we helped a runaway slave named Ulysses. He had showed up at the station one night during a bad storm. He had found our colt that had wandered off when the storm spooked the horses. The Missouri Militia were after him for killing his master. We talked him into letting us help; Emma was so sure that the town would help. At first I didn't think they were going to, but then after Emma and Kid were held at gunpoint the good people of Sweetwater made a stand against the militia. We saved Ulysses from a hangman's noose and he left to go to Canada.

And then there was a bit of trouble concerning Jimmy after he got into a little disagreement in the saloon with a writer of dime novels called JD Marcus. We had all just been in there watching Sam play poker, but things never stay simple. Marcus made Jimmy out to be some kind of hero. Teaspoon said that Jimmy was being set up; he'd have every gunslinger wanting to make a name for themselves or trying to uphold their reputation coming after him now. We had a little talk with Marcus but I don't think it really matters if he writes anymore books about Jimmy, the damage is already done.

Our services were called on again when Kid's brother Jed came into town. It's a shame really because Jed was really likable. He treated all of us the same, even Buck. He took us out to the saloon for drinks. When the bartender refused to pour Buck a drink because of his Kiowa blood, Jed stood up for Buck. So when Sam asked us to stand with him against Jed, none of us really wanted to do it. This was Kid's brother and he had become our friend. But we knew what he was doing was wrong so we did our duty. And we did it well. Jed's men were all killed and when he tried to get away he didn't get far thanks to Jimmy's guns. Jimmy killed Kid's brother. I know he must have fault awful. It would be like if I killed Red Bear. The guilt Jimmy must be feeling over taking his best friend's brother's life, it has to be terrible.

Things just went from bad to worse when Kid was taken captive by Indians. At least that is what we thought happened when we found the burned down rely station. Kid had been missing for a few days, we were all worried, but Lou was worried more than the rest of us. Buck went to talk to Lou and I don't know what was said between the two of them but whatever it was Buck got his feelings hurt. He stalked off and went into the barn. I watched Lou's face when Buck left and I knew she had regretted what she said as soon as it came out of her mouth. I went to talk to her. As soon as I sat down she looked over at me.

"I didn't mean it like it sounded Ike." Lou said softly.

"What did you say exactly Lou." I signed.

"I said the people who had Kid were savages." Lou replied, "I didn't mean that I thought they were savages because they were Indians. I didn't mean that I thought Indians were savages; that I thought Buck was."

"I'll talk to Buck." I signed.

"Tell him I'm sorry, that I didn't mean it like that. I'd never meant to hurt Buck Ike, even if he did used to pull my braids back in the mission." Lou said with a smile.

"You recognized him?"

"I recognized you both right away. I just couldn't say anything without giving away my secret, besides I doubt you two would have remembered me." Lou replied.

"Well honestly I didn't recognize you from the mission; I don't think Buck did either, at least not at first. But we both knew you were a girl before you told us. Buck knew the minute he saw you, it took me a little bit longer."

"That explains a lot actually … I was kinda worried that Buck might like guys the way he acted around me. You know always doing little things for me and looking out for me." Lou said with a soft laugh.

I shook my head in silent laughter, "I better go talk to Buck."

I got up and headed into the barn. I found Buck sitting in the hayloft. "I don't want to talk about it Ike." Buck said without even turning around to see me.

I just squatted down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he finally said, "I don't understand why it hurt so much for Lou to say that the people who had Kid were savages. It wasn't like she was calling me a savage. And it's not like I haven't been called worse."

I smiled, "Because you like her. You liked her when we were in the mission and you still do."

Buck smiled, "so she was the girl whose braids I used to pull. But I can't like her Ike."

"Why not? She didn't mean it like it sounded. She never thought you were a savage or that Indians were. She meant she thought the people who had Kid were savages because of the way he had been taken, and the way the people at the station had been killed." I signed.

"She's Kid's girl Ike. I can't allow myself to like her, I'll just get hurt." Buck said sadly.

"I think it's already too late for that Buck. But just because you like her doesn't mean you have to tell her that … I think you should though. You might be surprised."

"No … it's better if I just stay quiet about." Buck said before standing up, "Come on we better get started on our chores."

I followed Buck down the ladder and together we worked in silence mucking out the stalls. Kid returned a little later and we uncovered a plot by the Indian agent in the territory and put a stop to it. The Indian who had captured Kid was a half breed Sioux warrior. His brother was a famous medicine man and chief, Sitting Bull. From that day forward Curly, as he had us call him because his name was too complicated for the white man's tongue, and Kid were blood brothers just like me and Buck.


	4. Chapter 4

**Buck's POV**

It wasn't long after that that Teaspoon had all of us draw straws to see who was going to accompany Emma on her trip to visit a friend who was due to have a baby. Jimmy ended up drawing the short straw and he wasn't happy about it. He complained saying it was nothing about but a babysitting gig. We all snickered glad it wasn't us. Although looking back I think any of us would have jumped at the chance to go with Emma instead of being stuck at the station having to suffer Teaspoon's cooking. I wondered if Lou was just pretending to have no idea how to cook in order to maintain her secret in front of Teaspoon or if she really was as lost as the rest of us. I could cook well enough on a campfire but I was lost when it came to the stove. Apparently so was Teaspoon since the biscuits he was making caught fire! We managed to save one biscuit from being burnt crispy.

Sam came in then and told us that there had been reports of Indian troubles near the fort that Emma was supposed to be going to. He said if she wasn't back in a couple of days he was going after her. It was the next day that an army unit came through town. After Sam found out they were headed to the fort that Emma and Jimmy were at he rode out with them. We all wanted to go too but Teaspoon couldn't let us all go, we still had mail to deliver so I was picked to go with Sam and the army. We rode into the fort to find Emma fine and Jimmy relatively ok, he been shot but was healing. Things weren't how they seemed. The captain at the fort was lying about the Indians attacking; the army had been the one to attack. Jimmy had been shot when he tried to leave the fort to go after a reported survivor of the unit the captain had led. He rode out with me and Sam to find him. We did and returned to the fort. The captain was relieved of duty and we all returned home.

After that Jimmy ran into some more trouble when he met a girl by the name of Sarah. Jimmy fell hard for her and we all delighted in teasing him when he rode into the station with a flower stuck inside his button hole. Ike spotted him and he said he wouldn't say a word, which of course he couldn't, he never said he wouldn't sign it though. Lou encouraged Jimmy to make a move on the girl, when they saw the man they thought was her father in town, Jimmy went up to him to ask to court her. Turns out the girl was married to the man. When Sarah told Jimmy that her husband was abusive to her and that she didn't love him, that she loved Jimmy, they made a plan to run away together.

Jimmy had been set up, when Jimmy went to meet up with Sarah he got shot at, he returned fire to discover Sarah's husband dead. His ranch hand claimed Jimmy had murdered him in cold blood; the man's gun had never been fired. Jimmy was arrested for his murder. Sam sent Kid and Lou to investigate a rumor that Sarah and the ranch hand weren't who they said they were. Jimmy was tried and sentenced to hang. We of course couldn't let that happen. Just before the hangman threw the trapdoor release we pulled our guns out. We apologized to Sam for having to do this. Sam seemed to understand though, he hadn't wanted to hang Jimmy he just had no choice.

Just after we saved Jimmy, Lou and Kid came riding in guns firing into the air. Sarah and the ranch hand were really married. They had pulled this same stunt many times in the past. Sarah would met some old man, marry him and then when her husband ended up dead, she would get his money. This was the first time however that they set up someone up for his murder. I think her husband knew that Sarah really did have feelings for Jimmy. Sarah's husband ended up dead when they went to arrest them but Sarah was brought in alive. She told Jimmy that it all had been a lie, she had never cared for him, but I saw it in her eyes, she really had loved him. I guess she thought it would be less painful if Jimmy thought it was all a lie so I didn't say anything to Jimmy about it.

A week or so later Teaspoon got a surprise when a woman named Elizabeth Kelly showed up at the station. She had a letter from her mother that claimed Elizabeth was Teaspoon's daughter and that Teaspoon was a very rich man. The woman was beautiful I'll admit that, but something just didn't sit quite right with me about her. Ike however didn't have that problem. He really liked her. When Cody tried to put the moves on Elizabeth Ike called him something that I wouldn't even translate for him. I asked Cody to go easy on Ike. Cody of course being Cody couldn't let things go that easy. When Ike showed Cody up on trying to break a horse, Cody let out a sharp whistle that had the horse unseat Ike. Ike actually jumped Cody over it. Me and Kid had to break them apart. Ike might as well have been shouting at Cody as angry as his hand movements were, it was clear he was pissed off at Cody. When Ike rushed off I followed after him.

I found him in the barn in Sampson's stall. Sampson always seemed to calm Ike down. I walked up to him. "Ike you want to talk about?"

Ike stood there in silence for a few minutes.

* * *

><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

I knew Buck was still there despite that I was giving him the silent treatment. I breathed out a sigh of frustration. This wasn't Buck's fault so I turned to face him. "Not really Buck."

"You might feel better if you talked about it." Buck said.

"And what would you know about talking about your feelings Buck; you have yet to admit how you feel about Lou. When it's obvious to anybody looking that you care for her!" I signed in anger.

Buck looked like I had just slapped him, "Ike you know my reasons behind that. I can't allow myself to care for her. There is nothing wrong with you liking Elizabeth, even if she is older than us."

"I don't stand a chance with her Buck, it's bad enough I can't talk now Cody has made me look like a complete fool."

"You don't know that Ike. And you know Cody didn't mean to make you look like a fool, he was just being Cody. You can't let him get to you like that." Buck said quietly.

I looked down and sighed, "Yeah I guess you're right. Buck I'm sorry about getting mad at you, it wasn't your fault. I still think you should tell Lou how you feel though, I'm telling you, you might just be surprised."

"Ike I can't, she's Kid's girl. Besides it wouldn't make a difference if I told her or not, she'd never want me and I don't blame her." Buck said sadly before walking off.

I wished there was a way I could make Buck see what the rest of us see. We all could see that Buck cared for Lou and we could tell that Lou cared for Buck. At least those of us who knew Lou's secret could see it, although I'm pretty sure Kid either couldn't see it or was doing his best to ignore the fact that Lou just wasn't looking at him the same way anymore, that she was looking at Buck like that now. I shook my head and got started on my chores.

A few nights later the town of Sweetwater had a dance and we all had to go. Teaspoon escorted Elizabeth introducing her as his daughter. She was even more beautiful in that dark blue dress. We were all surprised when Teaspoon danced with her; none of us knew he could dance like that. I had been getting some punch with Buck when Cody walked up to us. I was still a little irritated with him so I walked away. I noticed some of the girls from town watching Buck, when one of them made their way to him; I thought finally one of them is going to overlook his skin color. The look on his face told me that wasn't what she wanted; when he nodded his head in my direction I was confused. I saw the look of shock on her face before she hurried away. I noticed the little smirk Buck wore and figured that she must have asked him something stupid like if he'd scalped anyone or something, since he had nodded in my direction.

It was shortly after that that Elizabeth came up to me and asked to dance. I tried to tell her I didn't know how but she didn't understand. Then Buck was there translating for me. Elizabeth smiled and said what better time to learn. As I was dancing with Elizabeth I caught sight of Cody watching us. I lost my smile briefly but as I continued dancing with Elizabeth I forgot about Cody. After the dance ended Elizabeth excused herself and Cody came up to me. He admitted defeat and all was forgotten between us.

It wasn't long after the dance that Elizabeth's true identity came out. Her real name was Amanda O'Conner. She had been friends with Elizabeth who had died shortly before Amanda came to Sweetwater. She had wanted the money that had been given to Teaspoon but she had a change of heart. She really liked Teaspoon and didn't want him to get hurt. She tried taking the comb that Teaspoon was to use to claim the money but Emma caught her. Then Teaspoon caught them. Amanda explained the whole thing to Teaspoon and we came up with a plan to capture Amanda's partner. It worked better than we thought it would and her partner who tried to run ending up getting killed by Teaspoon.

As we were seeing Amanda off on the stage coach, Teaspoon gave her the comb. He wanted her to have the money to make a new life for herself. Amanda said she'd only take it if Teaspoon agreed to be her business partner in a saloon. It had always been Amanda's dream to open a real fancy saloon, Teaspoon of course agreed. Amanda then turned to say her goodbyes to us. She even kissed me on the cheek and made me promise to save her a dance. I smiled and nodded my head. I still thought she was beautiful but she was too old for me. I would always be grateful to her though, she had made me see that I was worthy of being liked. I had just as much to offer women as any of the others, even if I didn't have a voice. I was worthy of being loved. I just wished I could make Buck see that he too was worthy of being loved.


	5. Chapter 5

**Buck's POV**

It wasn't long after Amanda left that a new saloon was opened in Sweetwater. The saloon was only part of the business, it was mainly a brothel. We were in town shortly after it opened when one of the scantily clad girls rushed out in the street with her customer chasing her. He started smacking her around in the middle of the street and nobody was doing anything about it. Jimmy wasn't about to stand by and let the girl get smacked around no matter what her profession was. So he went and taught the man a little lesson. Jimmy just beat the rest of us to it, a few more seconds and I would have been over there.

The woman who ran the saloon, Grace, offered Jimmy a job as a bouncer in thanks for helping out her girl. Jimmy turned her down saying he already had a job. It wasn't long though before Jimmy started spending time in the saloon with the girl he had rescued. Teaspoon confronted him about it one night after he was late for supper. Jimmy got real angry and said some things to Teaspoon that had us all shocked. When Cody went after Jimmy I jumped up and held him back. Teaspoon fired Jimmy and told him not to come back until he could come back as the boy he hired. Jimmy went to work for that Grace woman. Lou went to talk to Jimmy, tried to get him to see reason but Jimmy wasn't having any of it.

Me and Ike didn't understand why Teaspoon was being so hard on Jimmy. Teaspoon was always telling us to forgive and forget but he wasn't practicing what he preached. When Cody snuck out one night to go talk to Jimmy we found out that Jimmy was undercover, he was trying to get ahold of a map that Grace had stolen off of a friend of Teaspoon's that ended up dead after calling on one of Grace's girls. It had all been a setup, if any of us had known we might have accidently given Hickok away and he could have ended up dead. After the situation was resolved Jimmy was right back at the station where he belonged. Teaspoon claimed that he and Jimmy might actually get medals from the army for their services. We all snickered at that.

After that things settled down for a while. Cody and Kid were gone on a week long run and the rest of us had to cover their runs. We were all tired. I was sitting on the corral fence talking to Ike and Jimmy when Lou rode in from her latest run. She was absolutely covered in dust but I still thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. The first thing she asked was when Kid and Cody were supposed to get back. They weren't due back for another couple of days. In an effort to cheer her up I told her that Teaspoon was working on one of his schemes. When she wanted to know what it was I said I didn't know about that time Emma called us into the barn saying we had to see this.

We walked in to see Teaspoon working on a really strange looking wheel. Whatever the thing was supposed to be, Teaspoon claimed it would soon replace horses. I seriously doubted that. After Teaspoon had it all put together we took turns trying it out, even Sam came out to watch us. I was the first up, Teaspoon, Ike, and Lou got me going and helped balance me until I told them to let go. It didn't take long for me to ended up in the dirt. Yeah that thing definitely wasn't replacing my horse.

Ike went next, he looked like he was having a ball until we let go and the thing flip backwards and Ike ended up on his back. Lou took her turn; her feet couldn't even reach the stirrups or pedals as Teaspoon called them. When everybody let go she ended up in the barn. Chickens came flying out as she crashed inside. I rushed in to make sure she was alright. She had ended up in a fresh pile of hay and was laughing hysterically.

"I don't know about you Buck, but I sure as hell ain't giving up Lightning to ride that thing to make my runs." Lou said her eyes shining with laughter.

"I'm with ya on that one Lou." I replied with a grin. I helped her to her feet and we went to the bunkhouse porch.

Emma and Sam were there laughing at all of us. We tried to talk Sam into taking a turn but he was smarter than the rest of us and knew that thing just couldn't be ridden. Jimmy however decided to have a go. He actually was doing pretty well until he couldn't figure out how to stop it and ended up in the pig sty. We made him go down to the swim hole to get cleaned up.

Cody returned a day later and said Kid was in jail in a town called Prosperity. Cody didn't get a good feeling about the town, said something just wasn't right. He thought Kid was in trouble. So we talked to Sam and Sam had heard a cattle rancher talking about one of his boys getting arrested for stealing a plug of tobacco. We went to talk to him and he said pretty much the same thing as Cody, there just was something off about that town. So we rode to Prosperity.

The sheriff fed us some line about Kid being released but we knew it couldn't be true. We would have come across him on the way there. After asking around the saloon we found out where Kid really was. We staged a rescue and busted Kid and a few others out of the work camp. All of them were in there on trumped up charges. We headed back into town and took care of the dirty sheriff and the owner of the saloon who owned the town. Kid looked like hell but at least he was alive and going home with us.

* * *

><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

After we busted Kid out of the work camp and cleaned up the town of Prosperity we returned home. I noticed that even though Lou was sorta Kid's girl and Kid had been through a lot that Lou was riding next to Buck on the way back. When we stopped to make camp that night, Lou placed her bedroll between me and Buck instead of next to Kid. I caught the looks on Jimmy and Cody's faces; they could see what I could see. Buck and Lou cared for each other. Kid still either just didn't see it or chose not to see it. I didn't know how Buck couldn't see that Lou cared for him, but it was obvious to me that Lou didn't have a clue how Buck felt for her either. I really wanted to smack them both upside their heads and tell them to open their eyes. I did notice one other thing on that trip; Sam knew Lou was a girl. I don't know how he knew or how long he has known, but he knows.

A few days after we returned from freeing Kid, Lou went on a run to Blue Creek when she returned she was acting a little funny. I wasn't here to witness most of it since I left on my run as she was coming in; I just know what Buck told me. He said after I left it looked like Lou was hiding something. She wouldn't look anybody in the eyes and as she went into the bunkhouse she looked behind her to make sure nobody was following her. Kid of course went in after her, Buck said he heard them arguing about something so he just gave them some privacy and kept Teaspoon away from the bunkhouse. When they went into town later on that day, he said some man came into Tompkins' store and Lou just about tripped over her feet getting out of there. So after Buck told me all this I volunteered to help Lou wash Lightning so I could talk to her to try and find out what was wrong with her.

"You want to talk about it Lou?"

"Talk about what Ike?" Lou asked me with a blank expression.

"About what happened in Blue Creek?"

"Who says anything happened in Blue Creek?" Lou asked in exasperation.

"Lou we know you too well… the guys noticed that you seemed to be hiding something when you came back from your run and then in Tompkins' store, you about tripped over yourself getting out of there when some strange man came in. You can tell me Lou, you know I won't say anything."

"Like you didn't say anything about Jimmy and that flower?" Lou asked with a pointed expression.

I grinned and shook my head, "I won't sign it either."

"Alright … I bought a dress. I wanted to feel like a woman again. You know I love riding with you boys but sometimes I feel like you guys forget that I'm a girl underneath it all. I wanted to feel pretty. So I bought the dress and wore it around town. I was asked out to dinner by the man that came into the store, that's why I tried to get out of there in a hurry, I was afraid he would recognize me. And when I came in from my run, it was the dress I was hiding. I didn't want Teaspoon to see it and I didn't want you boys to pick on me about it." Lou explained in a rush.

I grinned, "Lou you know we think of you as a sister … well most of us do. I know you're still a girl under it all but you're right I for one sometimes forget that and I know Jimmy and Cody sometimes do too. Kid doesn't ever forget."

"What about Buck?" Lou asked quietly a blush staining her cheeks.

"Oh Buck never forgets that you're a girl under it all, remember he knew what you were from the moment he saw you. He's never forgotten that fact. And I know he thinks you're pretty even when you come in from a hard run covered in dust and smelling like a horse." I told her a huge grin on my face.

"He does?" Lou asked the hope evident in her voice.

"Yes he does." I signed back, I was about to say more but at that moment Emma called Lou inside.

Buck was probably going to kill me for telling Lou all that, but I think she needed to know. I hadn't come right out and said that Buck liked her but I hoped she got my meaning that he did. I knew the two of them belonged together, I just had to get them to quit being so stubborn and tell each other how they feel.


	6. Chapter 6

**Buck's POV**

I knew Ike had talked to Lou. I wasn't sure what all had been said between them and was in the process of trying to get it out of Ike when Emma called all of us into her house. When she started serving us tea and cookies I was a little nervous. I was afraid I'd break the delicate china that she was serving us with. In the bunkhouse and on the trails we used metal dishes and cups. I could tell I wasn't the only one nervous, we all were, but I think Kid was the one who was the most anxious since he was the only one actually sitting at the little table. He had a better chance of knocking something over. We all wondered just what we were doing in there but it was Cody who asked.

"Is it somebody's birthday?"

"No Cody it's not." Emma replied with a slight grin.

"Then what's all this about Emma?" Jimmy asked.

"I thought it time for you boys to be introduced to your fellow rider, Miss Louise McCloud. Come on out Loulabelle." Emma called up the stairs.

"First one of you to laugh gets a sock in the nose." Lou called down the stairs, which earned her a couple of nervous chuckles from us.

"I wanted ya'll to see how pretty she looked." Emma said with a grin.

We all had sly grins on our faces until Lou made her appearance. I don't know what the others first reaction was but I know I felt like somebody had just punched me in the stomach. I took an involuntary step forward, my hand going to Ike's shoulder as I watched her come down the stairs. I couldn't breathe as I looked at her, I don't even think I managed to swallow. There was a stunned silence all around us.

"Well boys looks like we just got ourselves a pretty new bunkmate." Cody said the first to find his voice.

His joke broke some of the tension in the air, but I still could not take my eyes off of Lou. She was even more beautiful than I imagined. I don't think I will ever be able to see her in pants again without picturing her like this.

"Careful Kid looks like you might have a bit of competition." Jimmy joked.

Had I been that obvious? Was Jimmy referring to me … or was he referring to himself. I still couldn't take my eyes off of Lou.

"Kid? Kid who?" Cody asked. My sentiments exactly I thought. I broke eye contact with Lou just long enough to look at Emma and ask, "What about Teaspoon?" If Teaspoon found out Lou was really Louise we could lose her and I wouldn't be able to stand that.

"What Mr. Spoon don't know won't hurt him." Emma replied, "If he can't see what a pretty girl Lou is, I ain't going to open his eyes."

We all gave nervous laughs as Lou blushed and looked down bashfully, bringing her hands up under her chin. It was probably the most charming thing I had ever seen. It was so innocent and sweet. I bit my lip and looked down and then back at her with a bashful smile. I knew I shouldn't have allowed myself to like Lou, but I realized then it was too late. I was too far gone. I not only liked her … I was falling in love with her … but I couldn't ever tell her that. She was Kid's girl and I was nothing but a breed.

* * *

><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

Buck was working on me hard trying to get out of me what exactly had been said between me and Lou. I was having fun tormenting him a little about it by keeping him in the dark. I was just about to give in and tell him everything that had been said when Emma called us inside for tea.

We all had no idea what was going on but I don't think any of us had expected what Emma had planned. As we sat there drinking tea from the dainty cups, I couldn't help but grin at how Jimmy was trying to look mucho drinking out of a teacup that had roses on it, Cody asked if it was somebody's birthday. When I saw the grin on Emma's face and realized at that point that Lou wasn't with us, I knew what was coming. I however did not expect the vision of beauty coming down those stairs.

I don't think any of us realized how beautiful Lou really was. I felt Buck step up closer to me, his hand going to my shoulder where his fingers tightening involuntary. It hurt like hell but I wasn't about to tell him that. I couldn't take my eyes off of my sister. My own hand was clutching at the back of Kid's chair for support. I realized then why Kid had been given the place of honor. Emma had known all along that Lou was a girl and she realized that Lou and Kid were kinda together. I wondered if she realized that Lou wasn't looking at Kid like Kid looked at her. That Lou was looking at Buck like that. That even now her eyes were focused on the person behind me, not the person sitting slightly in front of me.

We all just stood there in silence staring at Lou until Cody was finally able to find his voice. I wished for the first time in years that I had a voice too so I could tell Lou how pretty she looked. I heard Jimmy teasing Kid about competition. I wondered if he meant from himself or did he mean Buck. When Cody asked Kid who, I knew Buck was in complete agreement and if I didn't think of Lou as a sister and knew my brother had feelings for her I might be one of those Kid had competition from. But I did think of Lou as a sister and I did know that Buck had feelings for her. And if I could judge by the fact that his hand had yet to let up on my shoulder, nor had I heard him draw a breath until he asked about Teaspoon, I would say his feelings for Lou were a lot stronger than what I had thought. Buck was falling in love with her if he wasn't already. But I knew he wouldn't tell her, he wouldn't try to take her from Kid even though the rest of us could see she was only with Kid because Buck hadn't made his move. I knew Buck just didn't feel worthy of her. I didn't know what I was going to do to get him to quit being so stubborn.

It wasn't long after Lou's coming out party that the man she had seen in town was suspected to be a part of a group robbing gold shipments. Lou knew he had lied to Sam when he said he wasn't privileged to the information Sam was after but Lou couldn't tell how she knew that without giving away her secret so she tried to steal the information from the man's hotel room. He caught her. Emma had a feeling Lou was in trouble and made mention of that to Buck before going to Kid. Buck left before Kid did and went and got Sam before going after Lou. Thanks to his tracking skills they were able to find her before DeWitt could kill her. During the ensuing gun fight DeWitt tried to get away but Lou went after him. Buck went after her. Buck caught up to her just after she shot and killed DeWitt. He held her to his chest as she cried.

Me and Kid found them like that after we came upon Sam who pointed us in the direction they had gone. When I saw the look on Kid's face I realized he finally saw what the rest of us had seen since Lou's secret had been discovered. He could see that they cared about each other. But when Buck heard us approach he turned Lou over to Kid's arms and with my help tied DeWitt's body to the back of Lou's horse. Lou rode with Kid as we returned to Sam. I couldn't help but wish we had been a little slower in finding them, if we had maybe Buck would have done more than just holding her as she cried. Maybe he would have told her the truth. I can only hope that one day he will get the opportunity and will do just that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Buck's POV**

Ike and Kid had shown up just in time, a few more minutes I might have told Lou how I felt about her, I couldn't allow that to happen. I need to distance myself from her, she has Kid she doesn't need me to mess things up between them. I did my best to just stick to doing my job after that. I longed for a distraction from Lou.

When Emma's estranged husband Evan showed up one day, I thought I might have found something to take my mind off of Lou. It did for a while but then I got to thinking on how Evan had abandoned Emma and it just made me mad. It just made me think about Lou even more, about my desire to always be the one to be there for her, to be the one she turned to when she needed a shoulder to cry on, when she needed a hug. I wanted to be the one to give her everything she ever wanted but I knew I could never be the one. I wasn't worthy of her, I was just a breed.

And then when Emma and Sam went out of town for a wedding we got the distraction of a baby being left at the station. I thought for sure a crying baby would distract me from Lou who wasn't even there. It didn't. Holding that little girl in my arms just made me realize how much I wanted a baby of my own. How much I wanted a family. How much I wanted Lou to be the mother of my children. Even if I had no idea what I was doing when it came to that baby, I knew I wanted to be a father one day and do all the things that fathers do. I knew it would never happen. I was just a breed.

Then she came to town. I thought I had finally found a real distraction from Lou. Kathleen Delvin was everything Lou wasn't. She was delicate, genteel, a real fancy lady. I thought she was beautiful. When she seemed to like me I was surprised and allowed myself to believe I was in love with her. I took her out riding and then on a picnic. As we were sitting there underneath that leafless tree near the pond she asked to see my knife.

"Have you ever killed anybody with this?" Kathleen asked.

"Why?" I wanted to know.

"Just curious."

"When I had to." I replied, I hated taking lives but sometimes it was necessary.

"You aren't quite as savage as I thought you'd be; let's hope you aren't as civilized either." She said with a strange smile.

I wasn't sure what to make of her comment so I stayed silent. "You are rather 'exotic' though aren't you." She said.

"Not really. I'm no different than most men I'd wager." I replied.

She just pursed her lips like she didn't believe that for a minute. But before she could reply the sound of horses approaching reached my ears. I saw the Indians and helped her to her feet. I could tell she was scared as they approached, I told her to stay behind me and to keep quiet.

The leader of the group wanted Kathleen for himself. He tried to give me two horses for her, when I wouldn't accept less than four they left. I breathed a sigh of relief, I didn't want to have to fight for Kathleen and if they had really wanted her they could have easily taken her from me. After they left she asked what they had wanted and I told her. She seemed offended when I told her I had asked for four ponies instead of two. I tried to explain that I knew they wouldn't give that many. They had thought she was too skinny. This seemed to offend her more so I told her I thought she was worth four ponies maybe even five. This seemed to please her. So I said maybe even six. That's when she kissed me. All thoughts of Lou were pushed into the far recesses of my mind. At least they were at that moment.

As I rode back to the station however they came back with a vengeance. I kept comparing Kathleen and Lou, trying to make Kathleen seem the better catch. Trying to tell myself I was in love with Kathleen, that Lou was nothing but a friend. I had kissed Kathleen after all. That's when they got the drop on me. Delvin's men. They dragged me through the creek bed and then they held me down as they painted me and poured molasses on me before they feathered me. I had never been so humiliated in my life. This had happened to me because of her. I tried to tell myself she was worth it, that I was in love with her. I made my way home and snuck in the barn praying that nobody would see me. Teaspoon however found me.

"What in God's name happened to you?" Teaspoon asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it." I stated.

"This is on account of you seeing that Delvin girl." Teaspoon said, I didn't say anything. "Son I know things like this can wear on the soul but you can't let it get to you."

"So I should do nothing?" I demanded angry. Of all people Teaspoon should understand I couldn't let what happened slide.

"Let it go Buck. Is she really worth this?" Teaspoon asked, when I refused to answer he walked away.

I got my revenge on Delvin's men that night. I didn't hurt them, but I made their pride suffer the same as mine. It was the next day that Kathleen sent for me. Her father was making her marrying Rance and she didn't want to. She wanted me to take her to St. Jo. She told me she couldn't bear the thought of never seeing me again. And I bought it, I told myself that I loved her and she was worth it.

I agreed to take her. We passed Lou on the way coming back from her run. She hollered after me.

"Buck! Where are you going?" Lou shouted.

"I'll only be gone a couple of days. Tell Teaspoon I'm going to St. Jo." I shouted back before racing away with Kathleen.

"Buck!" I heard Lou shout after me, I didn't look back.

It wasn't long after that that Kathleen's horse picked up a stone. I offered her the use of mine but she asked me to go with her. I went. I told myself I loved her and she was worth it. Rance along with Delvin's men were catching up with us. I decided we needed to make a stand where we had cover of the rocks.

After I ran out of bullets, Kathleen said it was useless. "I'll fight him." I said

"Rance will kill you." Kathleen replied.

"He can try." I said as I leaned in to try and kiss her to reassure myself she was worth it.

Kathleen pushed me away, "Don't be stupid." She said as she went to Rance.

I went after her only to be grabbed by Delvin's men. Rance had his gun leveled at me. I knew I was fixing to die but the shots I heard came from above and behind me. Rance looked up and saw my family along the ridge. I heard Kid shout for them to let me go. They did as Rance ran away from them with Kathleen he swore if he heard any shots he kill her. Once my friends were down there with me I put my knife back in my boot since it had been taken from me.

"I'm going after her, he won't hurt her he needs her."

"She's not worth it Buck, you'll only get hurt." Lou said looking at me out of the corner of her eye, her main focus on the man she pointed her gun at.

"I'll just have to take that chance" I replied, I kept telling myself I loved her and she was worth it.

I followed Rance back to the Delvin's. I came in just after Rance had shot Kathleen's father. As he was leveling the gun to shoot him again I threw my knife. It stuck in his back and he fell to the floor dead. I entered the room to see Kathleen leaning over her father, promising to never leave him again, saying she just wanted Rance gone. She hadn't wanted me after all.

"Kathleen?" I asked my voice hoarse with emotion. I had been used. She hadn't wanted me; she just didn't want to marry Rance. She had used me to get him out of the picture.

"I'm sorry Buck, I can't leave him." Kathleen said. She might have said she was sorry but I could see it in her eyes that she wasn't. This had been her plan all along.

I took off the necklace she had given me and placed it on the nearest table. Then I turned around and walked out of the house. I had fooled myself. When I kept comparing Lou to Kathleen I had been wrong. Yes they were nothing alike but where Lou was sincere, loyal, honest, caring, and a real lady in my opinion Kathleen was not. I was thankful Lou was nothing like Kathleen. She had been right Kathleen wasn't worth it, Lou was but I wasn't worthy of her especially now. I had let a pretty face distract me; I had lied to myself saying I loved her that she was worth it all. I had been a fool.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ike's POV**

After the incident with DeWitt, I noticed Buck avoiding Lou as much as possible. I could tell what he was trying to do, he was distancing himself. He had come really close to admitting to her how he felt, so he was trying to not be placed in a situation like that again. Buck poured himself into his work, taking extra runs even; I could tell it wasn't working. Lou was doing the same, she was trying her best to avoid being alone with Kid and doing everything she could to be alone with Buck, but Buck wasn't giving her the opportunity.

I could tell Lou was confused by Buck's behavior. She didn't understand why he was acting the way he was. I could have explained it to her but I felt like this was something they needed to work out alone. When Emma's estranged husband Evan showed up, Buck seemed slightly distracted by him, he even sat next to Lou at dinner one night without even realizing what he was doing until he sat down. He couldn't very well move without creating a scene so he stayed there.

But Evan didn't distract Buck for long. I could see it in his eyes. Once he got to thinking on what Evan had done to Emma, I could see how mad it made him. I could see how it made him realize how badly he wanted to be the one to take care of Lou for the rest of their lives. I could see my best friend and brother was hopelessly in love with her. But he didn't think he was worthy of her.

Then when Emma and Sam went out of town to a wedding we received a really big surprise when a baby girl was left on the bunkhouse porch. I'd never would have thought that a little baby could turn us all into mush. None of us could understand how a mother could just abandon their baby. That little girl had us wrapped around her finger in a matter of seconds. I could see it in Buck's eyes how badly he wanted to be a father, how badly he wanted Lou to be the mother of his children. I have to admit that I have always wanted to be a father to have a family of my own. But like Buck I doubted I would ever find a woman who would want to have my children.

And then when Buck was holding the little girl and she 'sprang a leak' as he put it, I could have died laughing at all of them. They were so completely helpless trying to change the nappy. They were making it harder than it really was. While they were teasing Teaspoon for having stuck himself with the pin holding the nappy together, I took over and had her changed before they even noticed. The looks on their faces as I cuddled that baby were priceless. I had always had a soft spot for babies. When I had first arrived at the mission I worked in the nursery, the babies were the only ones who weren't scared of me. I just hoped that one day me and Buck will both get the families we long for; I really hoped that Buck would open his eyes and see that Lou cared for him as much as he cared for her.

And then 'she' came to town. I'll admit Kathleen Delvin was beautiful, but that beauty was only on the surface, she was devious, conniving, and ruthless. I could see it in her eyes she was using Buck, but Buck was fooling himself. He was trying to use her to prove to himself that Lou was just a friend. He was trying to convince himself that he was in love with Kathleen.

When Lou found out that Buck was taking Kathleen on a picnic she was devastated. She may not have admitted it but I could see the hurt in her eyes. She hid out in the hayloft so none of the others would see her tears. I guess she had fallen asleep because she was still in there whenever Buck came home from his picnic. She was in there to witness what had happened to him because of that girl.

When Lou didn't come in for dinner I went out to the barn to find her, she was still in the hayloft; her eyes were swollen and red from her crying. I didn't know about what had happened to Buck so I thought she had been crying this whole time because he had gone out with that girl.

"Lou are you alright?"

"It's horrible Ike … how could … how could they do …. That." She said in-between sobs.

"How could who do what?"

"Delvin's men … they … they … they painted and feathered Buck because of 'her'." Lou seethed.

My eyes got huge, "They did what?"

"They humiliated him because of her!" Lou shouted, the tears gone anger in its place.

"Does Buck know you saw him?"

"No … I had fallen asleep … it wasn't until I heard Teaspoon and Buck talking that I woke up and peeked over the hayloft edge and saw them. God Ike how can … how can Buck not see that she's not worth it?" Lou asked anguish in her eyes.

"He's fooling himself Lou … he's trying to convince himself that he's in love with her, that she's worth it."

"But she's not worth it Ike… I can see it, she doesn't care for him; he's only going to get hurt." Lou said her eyes tearing up again.

"I know that and you know that, but this is something that Buck is going have to see for himself. But I don't think he will be hurt as bad as you think. His pride maybe but his heart, no."

"How do you know that Ike, he has to love her if he's willing to put up with what happened because of her?" Lou asked.

"Because I know he doesn't love her, he's trying to convince himself he does but he doesn't. He just doesn't think that he has a chance to be with the woman he really wants to be with."

"I hope you're right Ike … I hate to think of Buck getting hurt worse than he's going to be. Whoever this woman is that he really wants to be with I hope she deserves him." Lou said sadly.

I smirked, how could two people be so blind? She had absolutely no clue that I was talking about her and Buck had no clue that Lou wanted to be with him even if she hadn't come out and said it; it was there in her actions. "She deserves him Lou … he just doesn't think he's worthy of her."

"Nonsense, any woman would be lucky to have Buck." Lou stated.

"Lou, Ike you two out here? If ya don't come eat soon Cody will get it all." Jimmy called out then.

"Come on Lou we better go eat."

"I'll be right there Ike, I better wash my face first." Lou said. I just nodded my head and left the barn with Jimmy.

The next day Kathleen sent for Buck and he went to her. He didn't come back. Lou came racing into the yard hollering that Buck needed help. We didn't ask questions we just followed her. We heard the gunfire before we reached them. Lou spurred her horse into a harder gallop, the rest of us doing the same. We got there just in time, a few more minutes and Buck would have been killed by Rance.

When we got down to where Buck was, he said he was going after Rance and Kathleen.

"She ain't worth it Buck, you'll only get hurt." Lou said.

"I'll just have to take that chance." Buck said.

I wished again that I had a voice so I could tell him what an idiot he was being. Lou had just about ran her horse to death to save Buck. How could he not see that she loved him? Lou had been right of course, Kathleen was just using Buck. He came back to the station dejected. I could tell he felt like a fool, he should he had acted like one. I didn't say that to him of course, I just offered him a shoulder if he needed it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Buck's POV**

When I returned to the station Ike was there waiting on me. I knew he thought I had acted like a fool and I had. But I knew Ike would never say anything about it. He was there if I needed to talk.

"I'm an idiot Ike." Ike just looked at me with an expression that said yeah you are but he didn't say it. "How could I have been so stupid to think she was worth it all?"

"You were trying to forget Lou. It didn't work did it?" Ike signed to me.

"No … it's pointless Ike, no matter what I've tried I can't stop thinking about her. I don't know why I ever thought Kathleen was a better catch … she's not Lou's worth ten of her."

"You should tell Lou that." Ike signed.

I just shook my head, "I can't Ike. You know that, I can't ever tell her. I should never have allowed myself to like her."

"Buck quit lying to yourself. You are in love with her. You need to tell her … she deserves to know. Besides I think you'd be surprised." Ike signed.

"Ike … I'm not lying to myself … I just … I can't love her."

"It's too late for that Buck. You need to talk to her at least to thank her for coming after you. You know she about ran Lightning to death to get back here to us and get to you in time." Ike signed with a pointed look at me.

I looked at him in shock, "She really did that?" Ike just nodded. "You're right I really need to talk to her but I can't face her just yet."

"What are you going to tell her Buck?" Ike signed to me. I know he wanted me to tell Lou how I felt but I couldn't do that.

"I'm going to tell her she was right and thank her for coming after me. That's all though … I know you think I should tell her that I'm in love with her but I just can't do it Ike, don't ask me to."

"Well at least you admitted it to me." Ike signed with a slight grin.

I smirked and shook my head. "You know me too well Ike … I couldn't hide it from you even though I tried."

* * *

><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

I watched Buck as he made his way back to the bunkhouse. He had finally admitted that he was in love with Lou even if it was only to me. I knew that he wouldn't be able to hide it forever no matter how he tried the truth would come out eventually.

At least I convinced him to talk to Lou. Maybe once they are alone and actually talk, Buck will see that Lou loves him too. Shaking my head I went into the barn to check on Lou and Lightning.

Lou was brushing down her favorite horse when I entered. I tapped her on her shoulder to get her attention. She turned to me with a small smile.

"How is he?" I signed with a nod to her horse.

"He'll be fine… I just ran him a little too hard, nothing that a couple days rest won't fix." Lou said. "It was worth it though." She added in a quiet voice.

"I talked to Buck." I signed.

"Is he back?" Lou asked.

"He just got back … he found out that we were right about Kathleen."

"How's he doing Ike?" Lou asked the worry for Buck evident in her tone.

"He's feeling like an idiot but he'll be ok. I told you his heart wouldn't be broken. He's in love with someone that he says is worth ten of Kathleen Delvin."

"Why doesn't he tell this girl how he feels then? If he cares that much for her why doesn't he tell her? Is he afraid she won't want him because of his Kiowa blood?" Lou asked me.

"That's part of it. The other part is this girl is sorta with someone else, even though I'm pretty sure she's only with him because Buck hasn't made a move on her. I'm pretty sure she feels the same way about Buck as he feels about her." I signed with a grin… while I thought please catch on Lou, please.

Lou bit her lip and looked down, "he should tell her."

"I know, I've tried to tell him that… by the way Buck is going to talk to you about what you did for him, he just needs a little time."

"He doesn't have to do that … I couldn't let him get hurt because of that she-devil." Lou stated.

"He wants to." I signed.

"He hasn't wanted to talk to me since I shot DeWitt. He's been avoiding me and don't you think I don't know it Ike!" Lou yelled.

I so wanted a voice so I could shout back that Lou was as pigheaded as Buck was. Instead I blew out a breath of frustration, "Trust me Lou he had his reasons … they were stupid reasons but it's not for the reason you think."

"Lou everything alright in here?" Kid asked coming in at that moment. We both turned to look at him. Kid was looking at me strangely. "I heard you shouting, is something wrong?"

Lou looked at me and gave me a small smile before turning to Kid, "It's fine Kid, Ike and me were just talking."

"What were you shouting about Lou?" Kid asked. I wanted to tell him it wasn't his business.

"I was just frustrated, it's fine now. Ike thanks for … well thanks." Lou said before walking out of the barn leaving me and Kid standing there.

Kid watched her walk away before turning back to me, "What the hell was going on in here?"

"Nothing Kid, we were just talking." I signed.

"Sounded like shouting to me." Kid stated eyeing me.

I sighed, "Look Kid, it wasn't anything. Lou was frustrated by things. She needed someone to vent to, so I let her vent to me."

"What was she frustrated about?" Kid asked.

"That's not for me to say Kid, it's Lou's business. If you want to know ask her, I can't tell you." I signed before walking away.

Things around the station were about to get a whole lot more complicated I think. I knew if Kid hadn't walked in the barn at that moment Lou might have gotten what I was trying to tell her. Kid sure did have a knack for timing. I wonder how he just knows when to show up somewhere before either one of them can figure out how the other feels about them.

I was determined to keep Kid away from Buck and Lou whenever Buck got up the nerve to talk to Lou about what she had done for him. I just hoped Buck would admit to Lou that he loved her. I swear if I had hair those two would have made me pull it out by now.


	10. Chapter 10

**Buck's POV**

It had been a few days since the incident with Kathleen Delvin and I still had not talked to Lou. I know I needed to but I was having a hard time facing her. Plus I really didn't want to be interrupted when I finally got up the nerve to talk to her and somebody was always around. I was sitting on the bunkhouse porch with Ike when Lou rode in from her latest run, she handed the pouch off to Cody. Everybody else was either out on runs or in town; this was the best opportunity I have had.

I looked over at Ike and he grinned at me, "You going to go talk to her now?"

"Yeah … I might as well get his over with." I said getting to my feet.

I headed into the barn where Lou was taking care of her horse. She was covered in mud and seemed to be moving a bit stiffly. "Lou you ok?"

Lou jumped and turned to me with a slight grin her hand over her heart, "gees Buck you bout scared me to death."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you. Are you ok?" I asked again.

"I'm fine, Lightning just got spooked by a snake and I ended up in the mud. Nothing that a hot bath won't take care of." Lou said with a grin.

"Well everybody else besides me and Ike is either on runs or in town but I don't think Emma would mind if you took a bath in her house. I could go get it ready for you." I offered with a slight smile, hoping to be reprieved from having this conversation just yet.

"Thanks Buck … I'd really appreciate that."

"You go on and get some clothes to change into, send Ike out here to take care of Lightning; I'll go get your bath ready." I told her as I shooed her out of the barn.

She walked towards the bunkhouse while I walked towards the main house to get her bath ready. I had the water heating on the stove and had already filled the tub halfway with cool water; I was just waiting for the water to heat so I could add it when Lou walked in.

"It'll be just a few more minutes Lou, the water's not ready yet."

"That's alright Buck, I think I'm going to rummage for a snack first. You want something?" Lou asked as she went into the pantry.

I wanted to say, yeah I want you but I didn't, "No I'm fine, thank you though."

Lou came out of the pantry with a jar of jam. She found Emma's freshly baked bread and cut herself off a couple of slices. She was sitting there eating her snack while I just stood near the stove watching the water.

"You know staring at it ain't going to make it heat any faster Buck." Lou called over to me.

I laughed and turned to her, I know it wouldn't heat any faster but I was just trying to avoid this conversation I sighed knowing I had to do this while I had the chance. "Yeah I know, I guess I was hoping the water would hold the words I wanted to say to you."

"You know you don't have to talk to me if you don't want Buck. I can get the water when it's ready if you'd rather not be in here with me." Lou said looking down, the hurt evident in her voice.

I crossed the room and sat at the table across from her. "That's not it Lou, not it at all. I just don't know what to say to you." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair in frustration, "I feel like such an idiot Lou. I fooled myself into thinking that Kathleen actually wanted to be with me. I let myself believe she was worth all the trouble being with her caused. You were right she wasn't of course." I saw Lou's mouth twitch at that so I continued, "I'll admit though she may have used me for her own purposes but I was basically doing the same thing. I was trying to distract myself, trying to tell myself that … well it's not important." I stammered realizing how close I had come to telling her the truth.

"Thank you for coming after me… you have no idea how much that meant to me." I added quietly.

Lou looked across the table at me, the look in her eyes I couldn't quite fathom. "You'd a done the same for me. I knew that woman was nothing but trouble. I couldn't let you get hurt because of her. I have a confession to make … I saw what Delvin's men did to you. I didn't mean to, but I had fallen asleep in the hayloft, I woke up when I heard Teaspoon and you talking."

I lowered my head, ashamed that Lou had seen me like that. It was bad enough Teaspoon seeing me, now the woman I was in love with had seen me, that was even worse. Lou reached across the table and grabbed my hand, "Buck what they did was horrible and wrong. I don't know how people can be so cruel. I didn't understand how you could still think she was worth it after that, I just knew you had to be in love with her."

"I'm not in love with her … never was."

"That's what Ike told me. He said that you were using her to try to distract yourself from the woman you really loved. A woman you told him was worth ten of Kathleen. You know you should really tell this woman that." Lou said to me the last part coming out in a near whisper.

"I can't Lou … she's with someone else … besides I'm nothing but a breed, I'm not worthy of her." I said not looking in her eyes for fear she would know I meant her.

"Buck you should tell her … any girl would be lucky to have you." Lou said softly, her hand squeezing mine.

Something about the look in her eye and the tremor in her voice made me open my mouth to tell her everything. I was just about to do it too when the kitchen door opened, causing us to drop our hands just before Emma and Kid walked in. Damn, he always shows up just when I'm fixing to tell Lou.

"Lou, Buck, what are you two doing in here?" Emma asked.

"Sorry Emma, Lou just got back from a run and I didn't think you would mind if she got a hot bath. I was just getting the water ready for her." I said before standing up to get the now hot water off the stove.

"Oh that's fine Buck. Lou are you hungry?" Emma asked turning to the mud covered woman.

"Nah … I snuck some of your jam and bread already." Lou replied with a grin.

"Alright then, Buck you just pour that water in the tub and then you boys go on and do your chores." Emma said looking at me and Kid.

I just nodded my head and did as I was told. After I had poured the water in the tub I walked out the kitchen door, Kid hot on my heels. I went straight to the barn where Ike was still at despite the fact that he was finished with Lightning. He looked up when we entered. His eyes went wide when he saw Kid behind me. I'm sure it was because of the look on Kid's face. Kid looked irate, I don't understand why, it's not like I had put the moves on Lou. Though a few more seconds and I probably would have.

Once we were all the way inside the barn, Kid grabbed my shoulder and spun me to face him. "What the hell is going on between you and Lou?"

"I don't know what you mean Kid." I stated turning from him so he couldn't see my eyes, my eyes always gave me away.

Kid grabbed my shoulder again and made me face him, "I want the truth Buck, look me in the eye and tell me there is nothing going on between you and Lou."

I swallowed and sighed, "Kid there is nothing going on between me and Lou. She's your girl."

Kid looked at me searching for a lie, "But you want there to be something between you."

"Yes I do. I can't help it Kid. Believe me I've tried to ignore the feelings I have for her, I can't. But you don't have to worry; I know I'm not good enough for her. I won't tell her."

I could feel Ike beside me, the irritation he felt for Kid at that moment radiated off of him. I just looked over at my brother and gave him a sad smile. "I'm going to go for a ride, tell Emma I'll be back in a little while." With that I mounted Warrior without even putting a saddle on him and rode from the barn.

I needed to feel the freedom of the open plains. I needed the peace that always came to me when I was riding freely across the land of my people. The land that the white man was determined to take for themselves. I needed … I needed Lou but I couldn't have her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I swear I'm about ready to throttle Kid at the moment, he just won't stay away whenever Buck is fixing to spill the beans!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ike's POV**

I smiled as I watched Buck head into the barn, finally I thought. I hoped he would confess to Lou how he felt about her. Buck had not been in there but a few minutes when I saw him and Lou appear exiting out the barn, Buck giving her a playful shove in my direction. I wondered just what it was he was doing as Lou made her way to me and Buck went into the main house.

"How are you Lou?" I asked when she looked at me instead of watching Buck walk away. I'm pretty sure she was watching his backside because when she turned to look at me she had a blush on her cheeks knowing that I had caught her.

"I'm fine Ike just in need of a hot bath. Buck said he was going to get my bath ready. Do you think you can take care of Lightning for me?" Lou asked with a slight grin.

"I'd be happy to Lou. Did Buck talk to you yet?"

"No… not yet, I think I'll just head on over to the house and maybe I can get him to talk to me." Lou said as she went inside the bunkhouse to grab a change of clothes.

I smiled as I left the bunkhouse porch and went into the barn to take care of Lightning. I had been done with Lightning for several minutes when Buck and Kid came into the barn. One look at Buck's face and I knew Kid had interrupted them yet again. I hadn't even heard him arrive; if I had I would have stopped him from going into Emma's. Kid looked irate.

As soon as they were all the way inside the barn Kid grabbed Buck and forced him to face him. He demanded to know what was going on between him and Lou. I couldn't help but huff, how the hell was anything going to go on between the two of them if Kid kept interrupting. When Buck turned away and Kid forced him to face him again. I moved closer to my brother. I glared at Kid as Kid forced a confession out of Buck. I had never been more irritated with Kid than I was at that moment. I hated that Buck still didn't think he was good enough for Lou.

Buck turned to me and told me he was going for a ride. Buck didn't even bother to saddle Warrior. I knew he was upset when he did that. I watched as he raced out of the barn and towards the open plains. I turned to Kid and grabbed his shoulder to make him face me.

"What the hell is your problem Kid?"

"What do you mean Ike?" Kid asked completely confused.

"Do you have any idea how badly Buck wants to tell Lou how he feels but he won't because of you?"

"She's my girl Ike." Kid stated.

"But she doesn't love you. Are you really that blind that you can't see what the rest of us see? Lou loves Buck, the same as he loves her."

"She's my girl Ike, and she will stay my girl until she tells me differently. I'm not about to give her up to a dirty breed." Kid said.

I didn't even think about it as I gave Kid my best right hook catching him hard on the jaw. Kid went sprawling in the dirt of the barn floor. His hand going to his swore jaw as he looked back up at me.

"You ever say anything like that about Buck again … I just might forget you're my friend."

I left leaving Kid sitting in the dirt. I went straight to the main house. Emma met me on the front porch. "You alright Ike, ya look mad at the world?"

I held out my hand to her, my knuckles busted from how hard I had hit Kid. "What on earth did ya do?"

"I hit Kid."

"That's not like ya Ike, why did ya do that?" Emma asked as she led me inside to take care of my damaged hand.

"Because he insulted Buck, he called him a dirty breed."

Emma gasped, "What? I can't believe Kid would say something like that, especially about Buck."

"Trust me he did. It's because of Lou."

"What about me?" Lou asked from the doorway of the mudroom where she stood fresh from her bath in clean clothes.

"Nothing." I signed.

Lou caught sight of the bandage on my hand, "What happened Ike? What does this have to do with me?"

"I hit Kid because he called Buck a dirty breed."

"Why that bastard!" Lou cried out.

"Loulabelle, watch your mouth." Emma scolded.

"Sorry." Lou muttered, and I grinned. "But what does Kid calling Buck that have to do with me Ike."

"You're the reason Kid called Buck that…please don't make me say anything more."

Lou looked completely confused but I saw Emma's eyes widen as she finally realized what the rest of us already knew. She looked at me the question in her eyes obvious; she wanted to know if Buck and Lou were in love with each other. I gave her a slight nod. The corner of her mouth tipped up in a sly grin.

"Ike please what does this have to do with me? What reason could Kid possible have to call Buck that because of me?" Lou pleaded.

"Maybe you should ask Buck about it Loulabelle." Emma said.

"Maybe I will … after I give Kid a piece of my mind for calling Buck that." Lou stated as she walked out of the kitchen.

My shoulders started shaking as I could just imagine the tongue lashing Kid was about to receive. As soon as the door closed Emma rounded on me.

"Alright Ike start talking." Emma said with a pointed look at me.

"Buck is in love with Lou."

"I gathered that." Emma replied.

"But he won't tell her because of Kid and because he doesn't think he is worthy of her."

"I take it Kid found out about Buck's feelings."

"He forced it out of him after they came into the barn. Buck left for a ride because he was upset. I asked Kid how he could be so blind to how Lou and Buck feel about each other. That's when he said he wasn't going to give her up to a dirty breed."

"Lou returns Buck's feelings?" Emma asked.

"I believe so; we can all see that she definitely cares about him… Buck doesn't see it though. And Lou has no clue that Buck is in love with her no matter how hard I've hinted at it, she still doesn't get it. I can't come right out and tell her because it's not my place but I've given her so many hints because I know Buck won't tell her."

"I wish I could tell ya what to do Ike, but this is something they are going have to figure out on their own. One of them is bound to break sooner or later and confess their feelings. Just give it time." Emma said patting my hand.

"I know it's just driving me crazy. I can see that they care for each other and belong together, the others see it too. How can they not see it?"

Emma just laughed, "Love is blind Ike … or at least it seems to be concerning those two."

I just shook my head in silent laughter. "Well I better go make sure Lou hasn't killed Kid."

"Good idea Ike." Emma said as I got up and headed to the door. As I approached the bunkhouse I could hear Lou still shouting at Kid.

"I don't know why you are so worked up about it Lou, I'm the one that got punched." Kid shouted back.

"You deserved it for calling Buck that!" Lou shouted.

"It's what he is!" Kid shouted.

"Buck is not a 'Dirty Breed' he is a Kiowa warrior who happens to be part white!" Lou shouted.

This was getting heated. But I loved hearing someone else defend Buck so vocally. Something I had never been able to do.

"He's a breed Lou and the sooner you get over your little infatuation with him the better. He'll just bring you down." Kid stated a little quieter.

I moved closer to the door so I could hear Lou's response. I didn't need to.

"Little infatuation! He'll l just bring me down? You arrogant low-down mealy mouth coyote, who the hell do you think you are! Buck is a good man despite what others may think. You call yourself his friend yet you talk about him behind his back? You know what I'm about to do something I should have done a long time ago … We Are Through!" Lou shouted before storming out of the bunkhouse and almost running right into me.

I couldn't hide the grin on my face. "I take it you heard all that?" Lou asked her face flushed.

I nodded my head grinning like an idiot, "It was nice to hear someone defend Buck so vocally. I've never been able to do that."

"I meant ever word of it Ike." Lou stated as we walked towards the barn.

"I know … you love Buck."

Lou blushed and looked down at the ground for a minute before raising her face to look at me, "Is it that obvious?"

"To everybody but Buck. Well I doubt Teaspoon knows … at least I hope he doesn't considering he still thinks you're a guy." I signed with a grin.

Lou punched me lightly on the arm. "God I'm such a fool… how could I have allowed myself to love him, especially knowing that he's in love with that girl you were telling me about."

I literally slapped my hand to my head. I mean it if I had hair I would have pulled it all out by now. I wanted to shout 'open your damn eyes Lou' instead I just looked at her like she had three heads.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that Ike?" Lou asked.

"Really … you really just don't see it do you?" I couldn't help but ask.

"See what?" Lou asked.

I was just about to tell her when Teaspoon arrived with Jimmy coming into the barn. Gees now I'm having bad luck with the timing. Is there some law in the universe that is preventing these two from knowing how the other feels about them? I just shook my head as I helped Jimmy with his horse. Jimmy looking at me confused, I just shook my head. Jimmy just shrugged and got back to work. Lou just stood there for a minute before she went to talk to Emma.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm with Ike ... is there some law in the universe that is preventing those two from finding out about each others feelings? Curse you voices in my head!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Buck's POV**

I rode the plains for hours trying to clear my head, but no matter what I did I couldn't forget Lou. Ike knew the truth and now Kid did, it wouldn't be long before the others figured it out at this rate, that's if they didn't already know. I was going to have to tell her and just hope for the best. Maybe she won't be too offended.

I returned to the station just in time for supper. As soon as I walked into the bunkhouse I could feel the tension in the air. Emma and Ike smiled at me. Kid glared at me. Jimmy and Cody just seemed to be perplexed and Teaspoon looked completely lost as to what was wrong with everybody. Lou wouldn't look at anyone.

I sat down at the only spot available, between Ike and Lou and directly across from Kid. When I looked across at him was when I first noticed the large bruise on his jaw. I looked at Ike and saw his bandaged hand. What in the world had I missed? Ike wasn't one to just go around hitting people. What had Kid done to make Ike punch him, hard by the looks of it?

"Does anyone care to explain just what seems to be the problem tonight?" Teaspoon asked then.

Nobody said a thing. Teaspoon looked around at us all. "Alright Ike let's start with you? Why did you hit Kid?"

Ike looked down at his plate. "Ike I asked ya a question. Fightin' is against the rules, so you best tell me your reasons." Teaspoon said with a pointed look at Ike.

Ike let out a long breath before raising his head to look at Teaspoon, "He deserved it."

"I need more of a reason than that Ike." Teaspoon said.

"He called Buck …" Lou started but stopped before she finished her sentence.

"He called me what?" I asked the two of them.

"So you don't know anything about this Buck?" Teaspoon asked.

I just shook my head. "It happened after Buck left to go for a ride." Ike signed.

"What did you call Buck Kid?" Teaspoon asked eyeing Kid.

"I didn't call him anything that wasn't true." Kid muttered.

My brows knitted together in confusion. Jimmy, Cody, and Emma were all completely silent staring wide eyed at the rest of us.

"What did you call me Kid?" I asked.

Kid wouldn't look at me. "I want answers and I want them now!" Teaspoon yelled.

"He called Buck a dirty breed." Ike signed, not looking at me. I clenched my jaw, it wasn't the first time I'd been called that, but it was the first time someone who claimed to be my friend called me that.

Everybody in the room was completely silent waiting for the fireworks. "Why?" was all I could manage, the single word coming out in a croak.

Kid didn't say anything but his eyes shot over to look at Lou. I should have known. I stood up from my place at the table and walked out of the bunkhouse. I didn't stay around to hear anything else. Kid would never admit the reasoning behind it in front of Teaspoon that would give away Lou's secret. And if for some reason he did, Lou would know that I loved her. I didn't want her to find out this way.

I went into the barn and climb up into the hayloft. It seems I always end up in here when I need to be alone at the station. It was one of the few places I could think. I don't know how long I was out there before I heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. I closed my eyes and prayed to the spirits that it wouldn't be Kid; I couldn't deal with him right now.

When I opened them again it was to see Ike just reaching the top of the ladder. "Hey Ike … you didn't have to come check on me, you should finish eating."

Ike just grinned as he climbed the rest of the way into the loft and sat down across from me. "You alright Buck?"

"Just dandy." I muttered.

"I know what Kid said hurt you … I can't believe that he called you that." Ike signed looking at me in sympathy.

"It ain't like I haven't been called that before Ike … you know that."

"True but it is the first time a so-called friend called you something like that." Ike had to point out.

"Yeah … what happened after I left the bunkhouse?"

"Teaspoon wanted to know Kid's reasoning for calling you that, when Kid wouldn't tell him he told him that he had to do your share of the chores for a week." Ike signed.

"Hell … if I had known it was that easy to get out of chores I would have made Kid mad at me weeks ago." I said making a joke of it.

Ike just shook his head, "You should have heard Lou after she found out what Kid called you. I'm telling you it was something."

"What did she say?" I asked curious.

"I believe her exact words were 'Buck is not a 'Dirty Breed' he is a Kiowa warrior who happens to be part white' and then she went on to say, 'You arrogant low-down mealy mouth coyote, who the hell do you think you are! Buck is a good man despite what others may think. You call yourself his friend yet you talk about him behind his back? You know what I'm about to do something I should have done a long time ago … We Are Through!' It was pretty heated … I loved it, somebody was doing what I always wanted to do, very loudly vocally defending you." Ike signed grinning like an idiot.

I just sat there in shock for several minutes. Lou had really said all that about me. She had called me a warrior. She had called me a good man. And then she dumped Kid. A grin spread on my face as that fact sunk in. Lou was free … I didn't have to worry about stealing anyone's girl because she wasn't anyone's girl anymore.

"You're right Ike … I wished I had been here to hear that."

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><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

Yeah I just bet you do Buck … if you had been you would have heard a whole lot more, I thought as I watched the grin spread across my brother's face.

"You really should talk to Lou … tell her how you feel."

"I know Ike … I just don't think I should." Buck said to me.

"You might as well Buck, she's going to figure it out sooner or later. Besides everybody else already knows … well besides Teaspoon."

"What? How?" Buck asked worried.

"It's obvious to anyone with eyes Buck … just not to Lou." I signed while I thought 'same as Lou's feelings for you are'.

"Is it really?" Buck asked a blush forming on his face. I always thought it funny how the one with the darker complexion of the two of us always seemed to blush more. I guess Buck is just the more bashful of the two of us, you'd think it be the other way around.

I nodded with a grin. Buck groaned. "Look Teaspoon has me and Lou scheduled for a double run tomorrow … overnight … maybe you should go instead of me. Give you a chance to talk to Lou without anybody interrupting." And maybe they will finally wake up and tell each other.

"I don't know if that is such a good idea Ike … I mean what if I do get up the courage to tell her and she gets offended or something. That's a long time to be stuck with someone who doesn't want to be with you." Buck said slightly anxious.

"Trust me Buck … you need to do this."

"Alright, I'll ask Teaspoon if I can go instead of you." Buck relented.

Bout damn time was all I could think as I grinned at him. "Good. Now let's go see if Cody saved us anything to eat."

"Fat chance of that happening … but Emma most likely did." Buck stated with a small laugh. I just had to agree as we made our way back into the bunkhouse.

After we ate I noticed Buck pulling Teaspoon aside. I knew he was asking for the trade. I could see Teaspoon thinking about it for a few minutes before he answered Buck. After Buck got his answer Teaspoon exited the bunkhouse and Buck came and talked to me in low tones so nobody else could hear him.

"He said I could take your spot … you have to do my run in exchange." Buck said with a strange look on his face.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I think Teaspoon knows." Buck said.

"Knows what?"

"That I'm in love with Lou." Buck whispered barely loud enough for me to hear.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. Just a feeling I got. He was looking at me strangely and then over at Lou. I don't think he realizes she is a girl." Buck said the last part coming out in a snicker.

My shoulders started shaking in silent laughter. "Yeah I can just imagine what is going through his head then."

Buck started laughing causing the others to look at us. "What's so funny?" Jimmy asked.

"Oh nothing really." Buck stated.

"Oh come on … ya got to tell us." Cody whined.

"I'll tell you later." I signed where only Jimmy and Cody could see me. They seemed to get my message that Buck didn't want to say it in front of Lou.

Soon after that we were all getting ready for bed. Buck and Lou would be leaving out early tomorrow morning. I prayed to God that the universe would just allow them to let each other know how they felt about each other. I couldn't take much more of this if they didn't.

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><p><strong>AN: Ok maybe now that they are going to be by themselves for at least 24 hours nothing will happen to prevent either one of them from spilling the beans ... oh please let things go as plan for them. yes I know I'm completely insane.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I just wanted to say a quick Thank You to everybody who has been reviewing this story... You guys rock! I'm loving some of ya'll reactions! They make me smile.**

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><p><strong>Buck's POV<strong>

I woke earlier than usual the next morning. I was nervous and anxious about this ride. Normally when I woke early I would just get a head start on my chores but since Kid had to do mine for a week, I didn't want to take that from him. So I decided I might as well go ahead and get up, I had time to go pray to the spirits before breakfast and our run.

I got out of my bunk and dressed quietly before slipping outside to go to the barn. I was in there saddling Warrior when I heard someone come in the barn. I turned my head to see who it was; I wasn't really surprised to see Kid there.

"What do ya want Kid?" I asked; I still wasn't in the mood to deal with him.

"Where are you going?" Kid asked not answering my question.

"To pray, I have time before breakfast and before I have leave on that run."

"What run… you're not on the schedule until tomorrow." Kid stated.

"Ike asked me to take his place on the double run he's on the schedule for." I said turning my back to Kid so he wouldn't see my grin.

"Lou's supposed to go on that one ain't she?" Kid asked.

"Yes."

"That's the real reason you're taking this run. You want to be alone with Lou. Stay away from her Buck, you'll only bring her down, soil her." Kid stated.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath praying for patience. "Kid I know I'm not good enough for Lou, trust me you don't have to keep reminding me. I also know I'd rather Lou find out how I feel about her from me, instead of finding out because you end up with a black eye or worse from me or Ike."

"Are you threating me?" Kid asked.

"No … I'm promising. Ike will throttle you if you don't lay off of me. I thought we were friends Kid; friends don't talk about each other like you've been talking about me. I know you care about Lou and I know that is the reason. But it's your own damn fault that she dropped you, Lou's my friend and she doesn't like it when you talk about me like that either."

"You really think she broke up with me because of how I talked about you? That it's because you're friends." Kid asked in disbelief.

"What else would it be?" I asked confused.

Kid just shook his head and walked away leaving me there completely at a loss. I shrugged and mounted Warrior. When I returned from praying I just tied Warrior to the hitching post outside the bunkhouse, no point in unsaddling him when we were leaving out as soon as we had breakfast. I went into the bunkhouse and got my gear ready. Emma had just arrived to cook breakfast so I went on to the barn and saddled up Lightning for Lou. Once he was saddled I led him to where Warrior was tied at.

Lou came out of the bunkhouse as I was tying Lightning to the hitching post. "You didn't have to do that Buck, I was just fixing to get him."

"I wasn't busy." I replied looking over at her. She gave me a nervous smile when she realized that it was Warrior tied next to Lightning.

"Are you coming with me on the run?" Lou asked.

"Ike asked me to trade with him." I lied. Lou just blushed and looked down. I was confused by her actions.

Emma poked her head out the bunkhouse door at that moment and called us into breakfast. Lou sat down between me and Ike. Emma smiled at us. Jimmy and Cody shared a grin. Ike was smirking. Kid was glowering. And Teaspoon had a very concerned look on his face. I have to tell Lou how I feel because with the way everybody is acting she is bound to figure it out.

We were just finishing up eating when Teaspoon spoke, "Buck son can I have a word with ya before ya head out?"

"Sure Teaspoon." I said standing up.

Teaspoon stood and followed me out the door. "What is it Teaspoon?" I asked once we were on the porch.

"Maybe we should go on to Emma's; I don't think ya want the others to hear this conversation." Teaspoon said.

I swallowed nervously, wondering what it was Teaspoon wanted to talk about. I just nodded my head and followed Teaspoon to Emma's front porch. Once we were seated on the porch steps Teaspoon looked over at me. I could tell whatever it was Teaspoon wanted to talk about he was nervous to bring it up.

"Is something wrong Teaspoon?"

"Wrong? No … at least I don't think so … I mean I know things like this are accepted among your people…"Teaspoon stuttered out.

"What are you talking about Teaspoon?" I asked completely confused.

"Well I know it's acceptable for two men to be together among the Kiowa Buck… but it ain't among the whites." Teaspoon stated, I swear he was actually blushing.

I had to bite back a laugh as I figured out what Teaspoon was getting at but I had to play it dumb. "That's true Teaspoon … but why are you telling me this?"

"Buck I may be old but I know love when I see it." Teaspoon stated.

"And?"

"I can see that you have feelings for Lou … I know it's accepted among your people Buck but ya need to be careful, the boys and the people in town may not take kindly to two men being together." Teaspoon said.

I had to choke back a laugh, "I'll keep that in mind Teaspoon." I managed to say before I started chuckling.

Teaspoon looked at me like I was crazy. "Did I miss something Buck?"

"You could say that Teaspoon … but I can't say anything more than that." I said, "Was that all you wanted to talk about because I think me and Lou should get on the trail."

"Yeah … just remember what I said Buck." Teaspoon said as I got up and went back to where my horse and Lou was waiting.

"Ya ready to go Buck?" Lou asked.

"Yup, got the package?"

"Yup." Lou stated.

"Then let's go." I said as I swung up on the back of Warrior, Lou doing the same on Lightning. As we rode from the yard I heard Teaspoon hollering 'Ride Safe'.

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><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

As soon as Teaspoon and Buck walked out the door Lou turned to me and pulled me aside. "Ike why did ya ask Buck to take this ride? You know how hard this is going to be on me?"

"That's the reason I asked him to take it Lou. I thought you might like to be alone with him."

"Ike! He'll figure out how I feel … he'll think I'm an idiot. He loves that girl you were telling me about." Lou said in a low hiss.

That's what I'm counting on, I thought. "You need to tell him Lou … it's plain to everybody else that you love him. Wouldn't you rather he find out from you?" I signed with a slight grin. I was bound and determined to get at least one of them to confess.

"Ike … I can't. He'll just laugh at me … I wouldn't be able to stand that." Lou whispered.

"Buck won't laugh at you I promise." Why couldn't she see that she was the one Buck loves?

"You really think I should tell him?" Lou asked.

"Yes I really think you should … he needs to know, he needs to hear it from you."

"I'll try Ike … I don't know if I'll be able to, but I'll try." Lou said. Well that's a start at least.

Lou walked away and grabbed her gear before heading out to her horse. As soon as the door closed the others all rounded on me. "Do you think they will figure it out?" Cody asked in a stage whisper.

"Lord I hope so." Emma muttered.

"I don't know how you can encourage this Emma … he'll ruin her." Kid said with a hiss.

Me, Jimmy, and Cody all turned to Kid and glared. "Kid just because you're jealous ain't no reason to talk about Buck like that. I thought you were a bigger man than that." Jimmy said in a threatening voice.

"I'm disappointed in you Kid." Emma said softly. Kid had the decency to look ashamed of himself at Emma's words.

Kid hung his head for a minute before he looked back up at us all, "I guess I owe Buck an apology."

"You owe Lou one too." I signed.

The sounds of horses leaving the yard reached our ears, "Guess I'll have to wait until they get back."

We all nodded just before Teaspoon walked in the door. He sat down at the table and sighed putting his head in his hands. "Something wrong Mr. Spoon?" Emma asked.

"Well boys and Emma that depends on how ya look at it." Teaspoon stated.

"What do ya mean Teaspoon?" Kid asked.

"Well … ah … how much do ya know about Kiowa beliefs?" Teaspoon asked.

We all looked at each other confused, "Just the little bit that Buck has told us." I signed.

"Why Mr. Spoon?" Emma asked.

"See the Kiowa they think it's acceptable for two men to be together, ya know as a couple." Teaspoon told us his face flushing. We looked at each other and raised our eyebrows.

"Why are you telling us this Teaspoon?" Cody asked.

"This is the part that ya might not understand … Buck has feelings for Lou and I think Lou might return them." Teaspoon stated looking at us in concern, obviously afraid of what our reaction was going to be.

I tried hard to hide my smirk, I heard Jimmy snort, Kid coughed, Emma turned away, and Cody just busted out laughing. That of course set the rest of us off. "I don't see what ya'll find amusing … I was being serious." Teaspoon said scratching the side of his face.

His expression just set us off more. "Will somebody please explain to me just what is so damn funny?"

"Mr. Spoon ya needn't worry about Buck and Lou having feelings for each other." Emma said between chuckles.

"But they do … I can see it." Teaspoon stated.

"Of course they do Mr. Spoon … but well … I can't say anything else." Emma said blushing realizing how close she came to spilling Lou's secret.

"Alright just what am I missing … Buck done told me almost the same thing?" Teaspoon asked with his confusion evident.

"We might as well tell him … it's bound to come out sooner or later." I signed to the boys and Emma.

We all shared a look. "Tell me what? What's bound to come out?" Teaspoon asked.

"Just remember Teaspoon that we're a family." Kid said.

"And we all work really well together." I signed.

"And we all care about each other a lot." Cody added.

"And if you fire Lou … you'll have to find five other riders too." Jimmy added; we all nodded our heads in agreement.

"Why would I fire Lou?" Teaspoon asked.

"Because Lou is really Louise." Emma said.

Teaspoon just sat there in completely shock before he started chuckling which turned into very hearty laughs. "I can't believe I didn't see it! I thought … I should have known Buck and Lou weren't … well ya know weren't funny. Have ya'll known the whole time that he is a she?"

"I did." Emma said.

"Buck knew the minute he saw her, it took me a little bit longer." I signed.

"I found out on her first run, remember she got hurt." Kid added.

"Me and Cody found out when we all went after her brother and sister." Jimmy said.

"Sam knows too … not sure how long he's known though." Cody added.

"Oh Sam figured it out soon as he met Lou." Emma replied.

"I must be getting old to have missed it." Teaspoon muttered.

"You're not going to fire her are you?" I signed in concern.

Teaspoon looked at me and grinned, "What for Ike. Family is family. Sides she's one of the best damn riders we've got."

We all breathed a sigh of relief knowing that Lou's job was safe. Now everybody knew her secret, and everybody knew that Buck and Lou cared about each other. Now if they would just tell each other while they are on their run things will be prefect and I will be able to get some sleep at night!

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><p><strong>AN: Hmm... so Everybody knows Lou's secret now and Knows how Buck and Lou feel about each other, now if I can just get Buck and Lou to listen to me and tell each other how they feel!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Buck's POV**

We had been riding in silence for nearly an hour, I would catch Lou looking over at me often and she would catch me doing the same. I could tell something was on her mind; I just didn't have a clue as to what. I know what was on mine, I had to tell her. I didn't really want to but I did want to. I was terrified that she would be offended and I would lose one of the best friends I had ever had other than Ike. I was excited that just maybe she would be flattered, maybe even return those feelings. I know I needed to tell her because she was bound to find out sooner or later and I would much rather she hear it from me.

The silence was just dragging on, neither one of us wanted to be the one to break it. When we finally stopped to rest the horses and eat lunch I was just about ready to go crazy. I guess Lou was too because as I was taking care of the horses she finally spoke.

"Buck is there a reason why you have been quiet all morning?" Lou asked.

"Is there a reason why you have?" I countered.

Lou blushed and looked down. I grinned slightly. "I know you didn't really want to come on this run with me Buck … I'm sorry Ike talked you into it."

"Lou … I … that's not it … are you sorry I came with you?"

"No … I enjoy your company Buck … I just rather you talk to me every now and then instead of giving me the silent treatment." Lou said her blush darkening.

"Like it wouldn't have been a silent ride if Ike had gone with you!" I teased back, Lou laughed, "You know you haven't been that talkative yourself Louise."

Lou smiled at the use of her given name, "It's nice to be called that."

"I'd call you that all the time if I could but I think it might give away your secret."

"Only one of them." Lou muttered.

I cocked my head to the side in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Just that I have more than one secret." Lou stated her face turning completely scarlet.

"Like the real reason you pretend to be a boy … somebody hurt you like my mother was hurt by the man that fathered me didn't they?" I asked really hoping that I was wrong. I didn't want Lou to have been through that.

Lou closed her eyes and looked down, a tear escaping her lids. That was all the conformation I needed, she had been used. She had started pretending to be a boy in an attempt to protect herself to keep it from happening again. I moved to her side and drew her into my arms, just holding her as she gave into the tears.

"I was thirteen. It was right after I left the mission. A man named Wicks gave me a job doing laundry. It took me a few days to realize just what kind of establishment I was working in, but I thought I was safe; I was just a kid after all. I wasn't, by the time I realized that Wicks wanted me for more than washing clothes it was too late. He forced himself into my room one night and … and … and he took me. One of the other girls helped me escape after he left. So I ran, I cut off my hair, put on boy clothing and a pair of glasses I didn't need, it's worked so far. At least it did until I came to work with you boys. This is the first time since it happened that people know I'm not a boy … but I feel safe here, I know you guys wouldn't hurt me." Lou told me quietly. The tears streaming down her face, tears streaming down mine as well.

"We would never hurt you Lou … I'll never let anybody hurt you again if I can. If I could have I would have protected you from Wicks." I whispered hoarsely.

"I know Buck … I know you and the others would never let something like that happen to me again." Lou said as she pulled away from me. "No one else knows about this Buck, please don't tell them."

"I swear I won't tell a soul but if I ever meet Wicks, I will kill him." I declared.

"I didn't tell you this for you to take it upon yourself to kill him." Lou said softly.

"I know Louise … but I won't let him hurt you or anybody else again, if I ever meet him, he's a dead man."

"I probably disgust you now, knowing what that man did to me." Lou stated, tears forming in her eyes again.

I put one arm around her shoulder, with the other hand I tilted her chin up to look at me. "Louise how can you think me of all people would be disgusted by you? You know what happened to my mother, you know I'm the result of that. What happened to her was not her fault, just like what happened to you wasn't your fault. I hate that it happened to you. Men like Wicks and my father, that's what disgusts me. I don't understand it at all … women are supposed to be loved and treated with respect."

"Not all men are like you and the boys Buck." Lou pointed out.

"I know that … doesn't mean I understand it. Come on we better eat so we can get going again. I'd like to get there before dark."

Lou just smiled sadly and got the food Emma had packed out of her saddle bag. We ate in silence both lost in thought. I had known that Lou had been used but I still had held out hope that I was wrong, now she had confirmed it. She had barely been more than a child when it happened. Yes I was disgusted by the whole thing, but I wasn't disgusted with Lou. I was disgusted with men like Wicks. I meant it when I said I would kill that man if I ever met him.

We got back on the trail and were on our way. The ride was still fairly quiet but now it was a comfortable silence. We didn't need to talk to just fill time and now that Lou knew I wasn't mad about having to go on this run with her, she was just as comfortable with the silence as I was. I would occasionally point something out to Lou or she would point something out to me and ask what it was if she didn't know. We arrived at our destination just before sunset.

"You want to make camp outside of town or see if the hotel has rooms?" Lou asked after we delivered the package.

"Better just make camp, I'm not welcome at the hotel here, if you want to stay I'll be fine." I said.

"No … I'll make camp with you. What about getting some supper?" Lou asked pointing to the small restaurant.

The owners of this particular restaurant were friends of Teaspoon's so I knew I would be welcome there. "Yeah that sounds good … my treat." I said added the last part with a small smile at Lou.

"Well I ain't going turn down a free meal." Lou teased.

"Now you're starting to sound like Cody." I teased back with a lopsided grin.

"Bite your tongue Buck Cross or you'll have to sleep with your eyes open tonight." Lou stated.

We laughed as we made our way into the restaurant. The hostess took one look at me and took a step back. Lou cut a glare at the woman. I could tell the hostess was just about to refuse to seat me when the owner appeared, Mr. Jack Carter.

"Buck Cross it's good to see you again. How's that old boss of yours doing?" Mr. Carter asked as he shook my hand.

"Just fine Mr. Carter. This here is Lou McCloud; he's another one of our riders." I said introducing Lou.

"Nice to meet ya Mr. Carter, I take it you know Teaspoon." Lou said as she shook the man's hand.

"Know him? Hell you could say that, we've been friends near 'bout thirty years! Well don't just stand there Julie get these two a table!" Mr. Carter said to the hostess who nodded meekly and led us to a table in the back corner.

We spent our entire meal talking to Jack Carter. The stories he told us about Teaspoon had Lou's ears turning pink. And if I admitted it, I found myself blushing on occasion. After our meal was over we excused ourselves and made our way out of town to set up camp.

I quickly got a fire going and took care of the horses while Lou set up the bedrolls. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Teaspoon the same again." Lou said suddenly.

I just started laughing, "you and me both! I could have gone my whole life without ever finding out how Teaspoon got his nickname."

Lou blushed and looked down. "Yeah … though I figured it was something along those lines."

I moved back to the fire and sat on my bedroll across from Lou. I sighed and took a deep breath, "Lou I've got to tell you something."

"I've got to tell you something too Buck." Lou said softly.

"You want to go first?" I asked.

Lou looked nervous, "Ah … I think I'd rather you went first."

"Alright." I said and looked into the fire. I couldn't look at her as I told her; I didn't want to see the disgust on her face once she found out the breed was in love with her. "You know back when we were in the mission and I used to pull your braids."

"Yeah I remember." Lou laughed.

"I did it cause I thought you were pretty. I still do … I think you're beautiful. I've tried to ignore it, I've tried to forget. I've done everything I could to distract myself from the fact …" I paused to gather my courage.

"What fact Buck?" Lou asked, her voice sounding strange.

I didn't dare look at her. If I had I would have seen the hope shinning in her eyes. "The fact that I'm in love with you. I know I'm not good enough for you and that you couldn't possibly feel the same about me, but Ike told me it was obvious to everybody else, so I knew you were bound to figure it out sooner or later and I'd rather you heard it from me. If you want me to leave the express I will. I'll do whatever you want me to do." I said as quickly as I could still not looking at her.

I felt Lou get up and move to sit next to me. Her hand reaching out and touching my arm where it rested on top of my knees, "Buck look at me."

I closed my eyes and steeled myself for whatever she was about to say. I refused to let her see any hurt that she might cause. I raised my eyes to her face. The look in her eyes took me by complete surprise. "Are you ready to hear my confession now?"

I just nodded confused by what I was seeing. "I'm in love with you too. Ike told me it was obvious to everybody else except you. I was determined you found out from me. When Ike told me that you were in love with a woman you said was worth ten of Kathleen Delvin I never imagined it was me. I can only guess how frustrated we've made Ike. I think he's been trying to get us to figure this out for a while."

I just stared at her. I couldn't believe my ears. Lou loved me too. Lou just stared right back at me, I could finally see the love in her eyes; the love she had for me. I put my hands on either side of her face. "I love you Louise McCloud." I whispered just before I touched my lips to hers in our first kiss.

Nothing I had ever experienced had prepared me for that kiss. It was unlike anything I had ever known. It had started out as gentle and timid on both sides but it quickly turned into a heated and passionate kiss on both sides. Lou's arms snaked around my neck, her hands playing in my hair. My own hands left her face and went around her back pulling her against me. I ran my tongue along her lip; she opened her mouth to receive it. I was in paradise.

I felt Lou's hands leave my hair and come around to my front. I could feel her fingers start working on the buttons of my shirt. I knew if I didn't put a stop to this we might do something we might regret come morning. I pulled away, my hands stopping her. She looked confused.

"Louise … we need to take things slowly." I said my voice husky, my body arguing with my mind.

Lou pulled her hands away, "you don't want me? Is it because of what happened to me?"

I ran the back of my hand along her cheek. "No I want you very badly. I've wanted you from the very first day."

"Then why are you stopping this?" Lou asked confused.

"Because I don't want you to do something you'll regret later. I don't know how much you know of such things but if we are together in that way you could become with child. Do you really want people to find out you're a girl by getting pregnant with a half breed's bastard?" I asked.

"Buck I know that's how babies are made. And anything that we share together I will never regret. And if we were to be together and a child resulted in that I would never think of it as a bastard child." Lou stated with a blush.

I grinned slightly, "I know you wouldn't Lou but there are some narrow minded people in Sweetwater. I just don't want you to suffer because of me."

"I don't care about what the 'good' people of Sweetwater think. But I think we would disappoint Emma … I would never want to do that." Lou admitted.

"Me neither." I replied.

"Will you at least hold me tonight?" Lou asked.

"I'd hold you every night for the rest of our lives if ya let me." I admitted grinning.

Lou blushed and looked down, "Let's just start with tonight."

I nodded as I got up to pull her bedroll around to lie next to mine. We got settled under the blankets, Lou nestled against my side. It felt prefect. I thought I had to be dreaming, this couldn't possibly be real. The woman I loved; loved me back. She wanted to be with me. I had to grin as I thought about what Lou had said; Ike had known all along that Lou loved me. We had to have driven him about insane with our refusal to tell each other how we felt. I'd had to remember to thank him for making me take this run with Lou. I drifted to sleep perfectly content for the first time in years.

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><p><strong>AN: Yay! They finally told each other! Thank you voices in my head for listening to me. Okay I'm really not as crazy as I sound ... I swear!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Ike's POV**

Buck and Lou were due back by supper time; I couldn't help but wonder if they had told each other. I really hoped that they had. I just didn't know what else to do to get them to confess. I was in the barn mucking out stalls when Jimmy and Cody walked in.

"Well Ike ya reckon those two have talked by now?" Cody asked.

I just shrugged my shoulders. I didn't have a clue if they had or hadn't.

"If they haven't I'm going to tell them when they get back, those two are about to drive me crazy. Are they completely blind?" Jimmy stated.

"About to drive you crazy? I'm the one they've been coming to for advice." I signed.

"I reckon it's a good thing you don't have hair then Ike cause you'd either have pulled it out by now or gone grey." Cody said with laugh.

I just nodded my head in agreement. It was going to be a long day waiting for their return. We all stayed busy for the most part, Cody always seemed to find a way to get out of doing his fair share of the chores. Kid left out on a run later in the afternoon so he wouldn't be home whenever Buck and Lou arrived. That was a good and bad thing in my opinion. Good because I could find out from Buck about the trip without fear of Kid's reaction and bad because it meant Buck had to go another day without getting an apology from Kid.

Shortly before supper the sounds of horses approaching the station reached our ears. Emma's call of 'rider coming' sounded. I stepped out of the bunkhouse in time to see Lou and Buck ride in. Lou smiled in my direction as they rode straight to the barn. I stepped off of the bunkhouse porch and made my way there to greet them and help with the horses.

I was in for a bit of a shock when I walked into the barn and found them in a very passionate looking embrace. I felt a grin split my face as I hit my chest to get their attention. They both looked over at me blushes stealing across their cheeks.

"I take it you finally told each other?" I signed grinning.

Lou grinned as she made her way to me, I was slightly taken back when she wrapped her arms around me and gave me the biggest hug I had ever gotten, she even kissed my cheek. "Thank you Ike. Iknow you've been trying to get me to see what was right in front of my face for months now. Thank you for talking Buck into taking that run with me." She whispered the last part just for me.

"You're welcome Lou, sure took you long enough to figure it out." I signed back after she released me.

Buck walked up to us then and gave Lou a quick kiss. "Go get cleaned up, me and Ike can take care of the horses." He told her.

She gave him a loving smile before she left the barn, Buck watching her as she walked away. He turned back to me, and grinned. "Who knew she felt the same way?" he said in awe.

"Everybody but you!" I signed to him before smacking him upside his head.

"Hey what was that for?" Buck asked rubbing the back of his head.

"You have any idea how frustrated I have been with you two? Neither one of you can take a hint to save your lives. I wanted to just come right out and tell you two how you felt about each other but knew that wasn't my place."

Buck gave me a sheepish grin, "Guess I can be a little thick sometimes."

"A little?"

"Alright real thick." Buck said with a laugh before putting his arm around my shoulder. "Thanks buddy for talking me into going on that run."

"Anytime … so how did it go?" I signed with a cheeky grin and a waggling of my eyebrows.

Buck laughed as he moved back to the horses to take care of them. I followed. "Well?"

"I couldn't tell her until last night just before bed. It took me that long to gather my courage. She told me she had a confession to make too but wanted me to go first. I had no idea that our confessions would be the same." Buck told me a permanent smile etched on his face.

I hadn't seen my brother this happy … I don't think I've ever seen my brother this happy. "What happened after you told her and you found out she returned your feelings?"

"We kissed … a lot. We …ah … we almost … you know … but I stopped it from happening." Buck admitted blushing.

"Wait you two almost had sex and you stopped it? Why?" I signed in complete shock. I thought for sure that Buck would have gone for it, as crazy as he is about Lou; I knew any of the other guys, myself included, wouldn't have put a stop to something like that if the girl wanted it.

"I didn't think Lou would want people to find out she's a girl if she happened to become with child if we had gone through with it. I didn't want people to look down on her for carrying a half breed's bastard child." Buck told me quietly.

"I can understand that Buck but you know Lou wouldn't care what others thought of her, all that matters to her is what you think of her and what the rest of us think of her, we're her family. And if you two were together in that way and did conceive a child your family would support both of you."

"I know that Ike, we both do. It was the thought of disappointing Emma that really kept us from moving too fast." Buck admitted.

I felt the corners of my mouth turn up in a slight grin, "yeah I'd hate to disappoint Emma too. She reminds me of my mother."

"I think she's the mother we all needed. Every single one of us have lost our mothers at young ages and most of us lost our mothers to violence. Emma has become our mother whether she knows it or not." Buck said.

"I think she knows." I signed, "And I think Teaspoon knows that he is the father most of us never had."

"As crazy and quirky as he is, he's still our father, or at least the closest thing to one that we have." Buck added with a laugh.

"Come on let's go see if supper is ready." I signed then since we were finished with the horses.

"Race ya." Buck said as he took off running. I was hot on his heels. We busted into the bunkhouse just as Emma was sitting the food on the table.

"Where's the fire boys?" Emma asked eyeing us in disapproval.

"Sorry." Buck muttered and I signed.

Emma just laughed, "Well wash your hands and have a seat so we can eat."

We did as we were told. Buck took the seat next to Lou and I slid onto the bench next to Buck. Jimmy and Cody looked up at our friends and both grinned at the looks on their faces. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that they had finally told each other. I looked quickly at Teaspoon to see him grinning.

"Well did ya'll have a good run?" Teaspoon asked with an arch of the eyebrow.

I could see Buck fidget. This was going to be interesting to see how long it took them to realize Teaspoon knew Lou's secret.

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><p><strong>AN: I know kinda short chapter but my children were super hyper today so I couldn't really focus on writing anything until after they went to bed, so I figured you'd rather have a short chapter than have to wait until tomorrow for an update.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Buck's POV**

I sat at the table next to Lou giving her a soft smile that she returned. I still couldn't believe that she felt the same way about me. I looked over at Emma she was smiling at me and Louise, her grin letting me know she knew we had worked things out. I looked across the table at Jimmy and Cody they both wore smiles that reminded me of the cat that ate the cream. They knew too.

"Well did ya'll have a good run?" Teaspoon asked. I looked at him; he was arching his eyebrow at me.

I fidgeted next to Lou. She put her hand on my knee under the table. I could feel her trembling. Teaspoon had to see the feelings we had for each other. How was I going to hide Lou's secret? Should I just let Teaspoon think that I like men? I really didn't want Teaspoon to think that but I knew I couldn't betray Lou.

"Umm… yeah it was fine … no problems." I mumbled not meeting his eyes.

"Anything interesting happen?" Teaspoon asked, again with that arched eyebrow.

"Uh … yeah … we ran into your old buddy Jack Carter, he had some real interesting stories to tell about you Teaspoon … such as how you got your nickname." I said grinning doing my best to play it cool and change the subject.

Teaspoon laughed, "How is ol' Jack? And ya shouldn't believe a word he says, nothin' but cow pies."

"Sure Teaspoon … whatever you say." Lou said in her gruff voice.

"So how did he get his nickname?" Cody asked.

"That ain't for you to know Cody." Teaspoon declared with a pointed look in my direction.

"Oh just something about how spoons nestle together in a drawer." I told them with a smirk.

Lou cringed and looked down, unable to meet our surrogate father's eyes. "Hell I was young at the time … bout you boys' ages." Teaspoon muttered.

"So you got a little friendly with the ladies Teaspoon?" Ike signed.

"Not that many Ike … just the bunks ain't all that big so there is only one way for two people to sleep in them … nestled up together like a pair of spoons." Teaspoon admitted grinning.

"Why Mr. Spoon I'm surprised at you … you know you shouldn't be filling these children heads with talk like that." Emma scolded Teaspoon good-naturedly.

"Emma I done told ya, these boys ceased to be children the day they went on their first ride." Teaspoon argued back.

"They are still my children … I don't care how old they are or how experienced." Emma declared.

We all smiled at her; while we didn't really liked to be called children we appreciated the sentiment. I grinned knowing that I had successfully distracted Teaspoon from me and Lou… or at least I thought I had.

"So nothing else interesting happened on the run?" Teaspoon asked leaning back in his chair and hooking a finger under his suspenders.

"Nothing that you'd be interested in." I mumbled.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Buck." Cody piped in. I cut a glare at him begging him to shut up for once in his life.

"Yeah Buck I'm sure we'd all be real interested in what took place on that run." Jimmy added with a grin.

I groaned inwardly. Lou turned a very pink shade and lowered her head, she couldn't look at anyone. What the hell were those two thinking? Where they trying to blow Lou's secret? Or did they want Teaspoon to think that me and Lou were 'strange'?

"Buck you remember what I said before your run?" Teaspoon asked.

I looked at him and nodded. "I remember Teaspoon. Why do you ask?"

"Well seems I was a bit mistaken about some things." Teaspoon said.

"What things?" I asked confused.

"About how the boys and Emma would feel about you and Lou being together." Teaspoon stated with a sly grin.

"What about us?" I asked. Lou tightened her grip on my knee under the table.

"It would seem that I gave ya that talk for nothin' … I mean ain't nothing wrong with you two being together after all." Teaspoon said. I just stared at him thinking he had lost his mind. The others were starting to snicker. "I mean you're a man and Lou's a … well Lou's a lady. Ain't that right Louise?"

I saw Lou's head shoot up to stare at Teaspoon out of the corner of my eye. The others started cracking up. "But … how … who told ya?" Lou stuttered.

"We all kind of did Loulabelle." Emma said. "When Mr. Spoon came to talk to us about the very obvious feelings you two had for each other and told us how the Kiowa thought it alright for two men to be together … well some of us weren't too good at hiding our amusement." Emma said the last part she sent a pointed look at Cody.

We both shot Cody looks that could kill. "I couldn't help it. It was pretty damn funny the look on Teaspoon's face when he thought that you two 'boys' were in love with each other." Cody declared before he started laughing.

I couldn't help it, I started laughing too as I just pictured the conversation. Lou smacked me on the arm. "It ain't funny Buck." She said her mouth twitching disagreeing with her statement.

"You ain't going to fire Louise are you?" I asked.

"Nope. Family is family. Besides I'd be a fool to get rid of her, other than the fact she's one of our best riders … I had it on good authority that if I was to fire her I have to find five other new riders as well." Teaspoon said.

"You guys would've really quit if I'd gotten fired?" Lou asked tears feeling her eyes.

"Of course we would Lou, you're family." Ike signed.

"Somebody has to keep us in line." Jimmy added.

"That and if you'd been fired none of us wanted to be around Buck without you here." Cody stated with a grin.

I just smirked and shook my head. "You know I have to say I'm a bit relieved Lou…ise. The way Buck and the other boys acted around you … tweren't the way men acted with each other." Teaspoon said which made the rest of us laugh.

"So I am right in assuming that you two are together now right?" Teaspoon asked after the laughter died down.

"Yeah Buck what exactly did happened on that run?" Jimmy asked.

"We talked. We told each other how we felt." I said.

"Was it really that obvious to everyone else how we feel about each other?" Lou asked.

Everybody just looked at us and smiled. "Yes!" Ike signed frantically.

"You about drove poor Ike to pulling his 'hair' out" Cody said cheekily.

"Maybe you should have just smacked me upside my head a long time ago Ike." I said to my brother slapping him on the back.

"Don't think the thought didn't cross my mind." Ike signed back.

We spent the reminder of the meal being teased by and teasing our family. It was good to know that Lou's secret was known by the whole family and Lou didn't have to worry about losing her job. It was great knowing that Lou knew that I love her and that she loved me back.

After Emma and Teaspoon left the bunkhouse for the night, me and Lou decided to slip out to steal some time alone together. We walked hand in hand around the station yard, just enjoying each other's company in the moonlight. We didn't talk, we didn't need to. We walked to the corral. Lou climbed up and sat on the top rail. I climbed up behind her standing on the bottom rail; I wrapped my arms around her waist, my chin resting on her shoulder.

We stayed like that for a while just watching the new horses. Lou sighed before she moved to get off the rail. I took a step back as she turned around and dropped to the ground in front of me. There was barely an inch of space between our bodies. I could feel the heat from her body as I stared into her eyes, her eyes staring right back into mine.

It was instinctual as I took a tiny step closer pinning her body between mine and the corral fence. My arms going around her pulling her to my chest, Lou's arms going around my neck. I lowered my face to hers, my lips just inches from her lips. "I love you Louise." I whispered my voice husky with desire.

"I love you too Buck." Lou replied her voice just as husky sounding.

I closed the finally inches separating us. Her mouth felt both soft and warm. My lips tingled with the sensation. I still could not believe that this was real. That I was actually kissing Lou. I knew I wasn't worthy of her, I wasn't nearly good enough for her. I knew us being together would not be readily acceptable to most people. I knew we would have a hard time of it, but I knew that if anybody could stand up to the people in this town and any others, could handle the insults and slurs, could protect herself if needed from people who'd hurt her for being with me, I knew Lou could.

I ended the kiss when I had to in order to breathe. Lou let out a contented sigh as she laid her head against my chest. I know she could hear how frantically my heart was beating. I just stood there and held her until Ike came outside to get us. It was getting late and was time to turn in. We went back in the bunkhouse, each going to our separate bunks. After quickly stripping down to our long johns we climbed into our bunks. I looked over at Lou and gave her a loving smile that she returned. I so wanted to be able to hold her to my side like I had last night. I had meant it when I said I would hold Lou every night for the rest of our lives if she'd let me.

I wanted to marry her but I knew Lou wasn't ready for that. And if we were going to get her brother and sister out of the orphanage we still had a lot of money to save to be able to buy a place and have something to live on until we can make a living doing whatever it is we were going to do on our land. I wanted to start a horse ranch, I know Ike does too. Maybe the three of us can go in it together? If we do that we might be able to get Jeremiah and Teresa out of the orphanage a lot sooner. It is definitely something to think about. I'll have to talk to Lou and Ike about it, but not yet I don't want to scare Lou off by getting too serious too fast.


	17. Chapter 17

**Ike's POV**

I had to smile as I went out the bunkhouse door to bring Buck and Lou inside for the night. They were both completely lost in their own little world. Normally Buck can hear a rabbit twitch its tail at fifty feet but he didn't know I was there until I touched his shoulder. Buck raised his head to look at me and Lou did the same. I told them it was time to turn in and then I turned and headed back inside. They followed behind me.

I could see the look on their faces as we all readied for bed. It was plain to see that Lou wanted to be held by Buck and Buck wanted to hold Lou. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to hold Lou for the rest of their lives but he didn't want to move to fast and scare her off. As I climbed into my bunk and laid down I prayed that things would work out for them, they belonged together and were perfect for each other. I knew it would be difficult, that there were some who would not approve the match, Kid being one of them, but if anybody could stand up against the injustice of it Lou could.

I was slightly worried though, for purely selfish reasons. If Buck and Lou married where did that leave me? I couldn't make it in this world without Buck, but if Buck had Lou he wouldn't need me. I wanted my brother to be happy, and Lou made him happy, but I didn't want to lose him. We had always talked about starting our own horse ranch, if they married and Buck still wanted to start a horse ranch he would do it with Lou wouldn't he, I'd not have a place there. Surely Buck wouldn't forget about me completely. But they would have their own family and Lou had a brother and sister that I know Buck will help her get out of the orphanage, there's not going to be any room for me in their lives once they marry, if they marry.

Alright I just need to stop this. Buck is my brother and best friend. He would never forget about me. I'm worrying about nothing. Lou's like a sister to me as well; surely she'd still want me around. Things will be fine. Besides it's not like they are going to be getting married anytime soon. I mean they just admitted how they felt about each other after all. I'm just tired from the lack of sleep because of my stress over them. Yeah that's all that is wrong; I'll feel better in the morning.

I forced myself to quit thinking about Buck and Lou and closed my eyes. Eventually sleep claimed me and when I woke the next morning I did feel better. Buck gave me a big smile as I climbed out of my bunk and dressed.

"I need to talk to you alone." Buck signed when nobody was looking. I just nodded my head.

We both slipped out of the bunkhouse and went into the barn so we could talk while we got started on our morning chores.

"Alright what is it?"

"I got an idea last night that I wanted to run by you." Buck said looking around to make sure nobody was listening.

"What was it?"

"Well … I want to marry Lou. I know she's not ready and I'm not going to rush her but I thought I'd run my idea by you so you could be thinking on it. I know we talked about opening a horse ranch. I still want to do that. I want to start one with Lou and You. I think if the three of us work together to save the money we can get it a lot sooner. Also it might help Lou get her brother and sister out of the orphanage sooner." Buck told me a little anxiously.

I grinned. I should never have doubted Buck. "Have you talked about this with Lou?"

"Not yet … I wanted to see if you'd be interested first. I understand if you don't want to help me help Lou get her siblings sooner. If you just want to save towards the horse ranch that's fine, it just might take me longer to get my half since I'm going to help Lou get her brother and sister out of there as soon as possible. I don't want to tell her just yet, it might scare her off if I get too serious too quickly." Buck explained.

"I'll help Buck with the horse ranch and with Lou's siblings. Family sticks together and Lou needs her family with her and they need her and I need you and Lou." I signed to him hoping he'd understand my unspoken fears.

"I need you too buddy… I don't think I could have survived all these years in the white world if you hadn't been at my side." Buck told me squeezing my shoulder. I realized Buck held the same fears I did, that one day I'd marry and then I wouldn't need him anymore.

I was about to say more but the sound of a horse approaching the station reached our ears. I knew it had to be Kid returning from his ride. I hope Kid remembers that he said he was going to apologize. A few minutes later Kid entered the barn leading Katy. He stopped upon seeing Buck. I could see Buck tense up waiting for any insults Kid might throw at him. I took Katy from Kid to leave the two of them free to talk … and if punches were thrown I didn't want the horse anywhere near them in case she got spooked. The look on Kid's face made me think punches would be thrown.

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><p><strong>AN: I know really short chapter but my mind is just not with it today ... this was all the voices would give me right now. I have a feeling Kid is going to end up with a black eye in the next chapter though.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Buck's POV**

I knew Ike had been worrying over where he fit into my life now that I was with Lou. So I was glad I went ahead and told him my idea. I held the same fears that one day Ike would meet someone and he won't need me anymore. I was so glad that he decided he'd do it. I knew Ike was fixing to say something more to me but the sound of an approaching horse reached my ears. Kid was the only one not home so we knew it was most likely him.

And sure enough a few minutes later he led Katy into the barn. As soon as he caught sight of me he stopped short, I tensed waiting for the insults. I watched Ike lead Katy away, I guess he thought punches might be thrown and if Kid's face was any indication they just might be.

"So I see you made it back. I guess I need to apologize for my comment the other day, it was uncalled for." Kid said.

That wasn't much of an apology I thought, "Its fine Kid, I've been called worse."

"How was the run?" Kid asked nonchalantly a few minutes later.

"Fine."

"Anything interesting happen?" Kid asked eyeing me.

I tried to hide my smirk, "You could say that."

"I take it you told her then." Kid stated.

"Yes I did, I didn't expect her to return my feelings though."

"Don't matter if she does, it ain't right for you two to be together." Kid declared.

"Why? Because I'm part Kiowa? We love each other, what should it matter to anybody else."

"You'll tarnish her Buck. She won't be accepted anywhere. She'll be called a whore. Do you really want to ruin her that way? Your relationship can never be legal. Whites and Indians can't marry." Kid stated.

I had to clench my jaw and ball my fist to keep from lashing out at him. "Kid I know there are laws in some places against a union between us, but Nebraska territory doesn't have such a law at least not where Indians are concerned. And as far as what the 'good' people of this town think, they can all go to hell. The only people whose opinions matter are those that know us and love us and so far you are the only one who has something against us. And that's just your own jealousy talking." I said before brushing past Kid and walking out the barn.

Lou was exiting the bunkhouse as I was leaving the barn. We met halfway between the two. I knew Kid had followed me out of the barn but it didn't stop me from gathering Lou in my arms and kissing her soundly. "I love you Lou." I whispered before I let her go, just in time to push her aside and dodge the fist Kid threw at me when my back was turned.

Kid was so taken off guard by my sudden movement that he ended up in the dirt. "What the hell Kid!" Lou shouted.

"Lou are you completely stupid! Do you have any idea what people are going to think of you being with Buck? They're going to call you a half breed's whore!" Kid shouted getting to his feet. I so wanted to throttle him, but I held my temper.

"Why you worthless sack of horse dung! Do you think I give a rat's ass about what people think? If I did I sure as hell wouldn't be living in that bunkhouse with all you boys that ain't no relation to me. People are going to call me a whore for that anyway once they find out I'm a girl. I love Buck and he loves me and that's all that matters. Not what you or anyone else thinks." Lou shouted; her shouts bringing the others out in the yard to watch the confrontation.

"Lou be reasonable. You don't really love him, you love me; you're just trying to make me jealous." Kid said. I swallowed hard praying to the spirits that wasn't the case.

"You sure think high of yourself Kid. I suggest you apologize to me and Buck and mean it, or else I won't be responsible for what I do." Lou stated in a very eerie tone.

"I ain't going to apologize to him again and I sure as hell ain't going to apologize for telling you how things are. You are a whore Lou." Kid said.

I was floored by what happened next. Lou gave him a solid right hook, right in the eye. Kid went sprawling to be caught by Cody who also punched him in the gut. Jimmy drew on him and Ike just silently led Katy back to Kid.

"Kid you get your worthless carcass on that horse and ride on out of here. I don't want to see you again until you come back to your senses and apologize to Lou and to Buck, and you best damn well mean it." Teaspoon stated with a look on his face that I had never seen before. For the first time ever I was actually slightly scared of Teaspoon.

"I reckon this is goodbye then." Kid said before he rode from the station yard.

Lou broke down and sobbed as he left. I walked up to her and wrapped her in my arms. "You're not a whore Lou. Nobody here thinks that, we all think you are a real lady." I whispered in her ear.

"Lou you alright?" Cody asked coming to stand close to us. I noticed Jimmy and Ike doing the same.

Teaspoon and Emma were near but hanging back. This was something we needed to do for Lou.

"I can't believe he actually called me that." Lou whimpered.

"He didn't mean it Lou … he's just jealous. Kid cares a lot about you, he doesn't like that you chose someone else above him, but he especially doesn't like it being Buck." Jimmy said quietly.

"What difference does it make who I chose to him?" Lou asked.

"Because I'm nothing but a breed Lou, he considers me beneath him socially. He doesn't think I'm worthy of you … and he's right. I'm not but I'm not going to give you up unless you want me too."

Lou just smiled at me and held me tighter. That was all the answer I needed, she didn't want me to give her up.

Ike tapped Lou's shoulder to get her attention. "We love you Lou, and anybody ever calls you that again you tell us and we'll take care of it."

"That's right; nobody calls my sister something like that and gets away with it." Cody added.

"So you guys don't think I'm a whore right?" Lou asked quietly.

"Nope not on your life. You are a real lady Lou." Jimmy said.

Lou just smiled at them before releasing me. She then gave each of them a hug and kiss on the cheek. Teaspoon and Emma came over then.

"Just so ya know Lou…ise, you are the finest young lady I've ever had the chance to know and I think of you as a daughter." Teaspoon said.

Lou cried and hugged him. "I think of you as a father too Teaspoon." Lou said and then added in a whisper that the others didn't hear, "we all do." Teaspoon beamed at her.

"Come on now Loulabelle, why don't you come with me up to the house and get yourself a nice warm bath and then maybe you can put on that pretty dress of yours and show these fine gentlemen here the lady you really are." Emma said putting her arm around Lou's shoulders and leading her away.

The rest of us just watched for a few minutes until they were inside. "Alright boys best get busy on your chores." Teaspoon ordered us then. Cody groaned and we laughed as we got to work.

I was saddened by how things had worked out with Kid. I had come to think of him as a brother and I hated that he left on such bad terms. I hoped that he would eventually realize what an idiot he was being and come home. He was family and his family wanted him here, but we wanted the Kid we had come to care for to come back, not this imposter that was masquerading as Kid and acting like a complete jackass. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed Lou knowing Kid was behind me. No it was better that we got it over with. If we had let this fester, things could have been a lot worse. Somebody might have ended up seriously hurt, and I have a feeling it would have been Kid. Things worked out for the best, at least for now.


	19. Chapter 19

**Ike's POV**

I couldn't believe that Kid had really said those things to Buck and Lou. His jealousy had ripped him out of our lives. For a brief moment I saw guilt pass over Buck's face as Kid rode away. He blamed himself for this, at least for a moment. I had a feeling though that Kid would be back one day, sooner than we might think. Kid was a decent guy for the most part he just tended to let his emotions get the best of him.

As we went about our morning chores I caught Buck's eye. "You alright?"

"I'm fine … I can't believe he actually called her a whore." Buck stated.

"He'll regret it; he'll come back and apologize sooner than you might think."

"I hope so Ike … I didn't want to lose his friendship over this but I'd choose having Lou in my life over Kid any day of the week." Buck said with a slight grin.

"I know. Lou would choose having you in her life over Kid any day of the week too." I signed, Buck just smiled.

When Emma called us in to eat we found Lou sitting at the table in her dress. She was still as radiant in it as she had been the first time we had seen her. I heard Buck take in a sharp breath as his eyes focused on her. He had gone stock still. Lou looked at him and blushed bashfully. I gave him a slight shove in her direction. Buck slid onto the bench next to her, never taking his eyes off of her. The other guys chuckled at them both because Lou had yet to look at anybody else.

When Teaspoon came in I about fell over laughing at the look on his face. As soon as Teaspoon spotted Lou he froze. His mouth hanging open.

"Well I'll be damn… how the hell did I ever think you was a boy?" Teaspoon finally said after finding his voice.

Lou looked up startled, for the first time noticing that Buck wasn't the only man in the room. She blushed and stuttered, "well … I … is that a compliment?"

"Louise you are the purtiest girl this side of the Mississippi." Teaspoon stated walking over to her and kissing the top of her head.

"Really?" Lou asked.

"Really." Buck whispered, the rest of us nodding our heads in agreement.

Lou blushed even redder, "aww that's really sweet."

We chuckled and then after that the spell was somewhat broken, at least for the rest of us. Buck looked like he was still having a hard time breathing and looking at anything other than Lou.

After that things around the station pretty much returned to normal, minus one rider. Life went on, Buck and Lou spent a great deal of time together but they both made time for me too. Things got interesting when a fellow by the name of Ambrose Merryweather started writing Jimmy.

He had what Cody called a 'man crush' on Jimmy. Jimmy was his hero, or I should say Wild Bill Hickok was Ambrose's hero. When the company sent Ambrose to Sweetwater to tell us about the new express route that would be going through Indian burial grounds, we weren't exactly thrilled. It took some time but we eventually figured out that Ambrose's uncle was trying to steal the land from the Indians. He knew that riders would get killed which would cause the government to go in and the land would be taken.

We thought Ambrose was setting us up but he wasn't he wanted nothing to do with what his uncle was planning. He became our friend. We gave him the nickname of Bulldog, because he was tenacious like one. Jimmy was still his hero but it was Jimmy that he actually idolized not Wild Bill. With Bulldog's help we found out what exactly his uncle was up to and was able to stop it. In the ensuing gunfight keeping his uncle's riders out of the burial ground Bulldog saved Jimmy's life but his heroic act cost him his life.

That was the first time I saw Jimmy Hickok cry. As I stood there with Buck supporting me, I had been shot in the leg; I felt tears form in my eyes not just from the loss of Bulldog but because of the grief that Jimmy was showing. It was a rare glimpse into the soul of the man that people feared. I knew Jimmy wasn't Wild Bill but he was still hard and dangerous. That one glimpse showed me there was so much more to Jimmy Hickok than meets the eye. His tough guy exterior was a shield to protect himself from hurt, and I reckon Jimmy has been plenty hurt in his life. He has a lot of demons.

At Bulldog's funeral Mr. Majors let us know that Mr. Merryweather had been charged for his actions. The route would go back to the way it was. Teaspoon then read a small excerpt from Bulldog's journal. He said that since coming out west he had felt alive for the first time in his life. It was such a shame that he didn't have more time to enjoy that feeling. As we left the graveyard, Buck put his hand on the small of Lou's back. If Teaspoon hadn't already known about Lou being a girl that would have given her away… or made Teaspoon really worry about Buck.


	20. Chapter 20

**Buck's POV**

A few weeks after Bulldog's untimely death Emma decided we needed a little cheering up so she decided to throw Teaspoon a surprise birthday party. The big surprise was that it wasn't his birthday … at least not that anyone knew of. Teaspoon didn't even know when his birthday was, I could relate to that, seeing as how I didn't know my exact birthday either. The Kiowa don't keep records like the white men do, so the sisters at the mission had given me the same birthday as Ike.

Teaspoon was tickled pink by the party and the gifts he received. We all had gotten him something; even Amanda had sent him a present, the first dollar she had made in 'their' saloon. While we were enjoying the party a young boy brought a message to Jimmy. All that was in the envelope was a bent coin, but Jimmy knew what it meant. He got up and grabbed his gun heading out the door, we tried to follow him but he said it was personal and he could handle it.

The message turned out to be from an old friend. The man that Jimmy used to work for needed his help finding his daughter who had been kidnapped. Turns out she hadn't been kidnapped; she had run away with her lover, taking evidence with her of her father's corruption. She killed herself instead of going back to the man but not before she had sent Jimmy the evidence. Me, Ike, and Cody rode with Jimmy to take the evidence to the judge, since the girl's father was on trial at the very moment. He knew Jimmy would come so he tried to have him killed before we got to the courthouse. We ended up having to split up, me and Ike stayed behind to cover Jimmy and Cody as they made their way into town.

Cody told us when we caught up to them that Jimmy had to shoot his old friend, but that they had gotten the evidence to the courthouse in time. Just before we left town, Jimmy took his old friend's colt, that perfectly matched his own, it was a matched pair like they were supposed to be, but Jimmy had wanted nothing to do with the life that had been set up for him, the life of a gun for hire, shame because he is ending up with that kind of reputation anyway thanks to J.D. Marcus.

Shortly after that Emma and Sam surprised us with the announcement that they were getting married. We were very happy for them but our happiness and that of Sam's was short lived. A man from Sam's past came to town and took it over; he had an order from the governor saying that Sam was being replaced as the marshal. This man was responsible for the death of Sam's first wife. The new marshal and his goons were forcing the store owners to pay for protection if they didn't their stores would be vandalized. Tompkins found that out the hard way. All of us helped him clean up his store. He surprised me when he shook my hand in thanks. Maybe I was getting through to him after all.

Well needless to say we weren't going to sit around and let this happen to Sam and the town of Sweetwater. Since the governor was an old friend of Teaspoon's, he decided to go have a little chat with him; he took me and Ike along as his backup. The governor agreed to listen to Teaspoon's problem if Teaspoon would help him out with a bit of trouble he was having with some Indians. The Indian that was supposed to be there for negotiations also happened to be an old friend of Teaspoon's. Teaspoon sure knew a bunch of different types of people. It didn't take Teaspoon long to convince his Indian friend to at least try to talk to the governor. The governor was so happy that negotiations were back on that he reappointed Sam as marshal.

When we got back to Sweetwater we found out that we had missed quite a bit. Sam had been tried for murder while we were gone. He had been cleared of course since he didn't do it and there was a witness who testified to that fact. Once Teaspoon told Sam he was the marshal again, Sam took care of the unwanted pest in our town. The last man who had been responsible for Sam's wife's death, died by Sam's gun same as the rest had, even if it had taken him ten years to finish what he had started. I know Sam would tell us not to take the law into our own hands like he had but if something like that happened to Lou or Ike, or any of my family really, I'd hunt the person or persons responsible down like a dog and make them pay for it. I already had one name on the list of people that I needed to kill and that was one Simon Wicks the man that had raped Lou. He was a dead man walking.

A few weeks after Sam had been reappointed marshal, Teaspoon had an old friend stop by for a visit. As soon as he had shown up Teaspoon started acting odd. Well really beforehand he had been getting really antsy and would snap at us for no reason. So when his friend showed up and he told us that he was going out of town for a while we all knew something was up. Jimmy decided that he was going to follow Teaspoon. Everybody wanted to come but we couldn't. Jimmy suggested we draw straws to see who was coming with him but I said no need I was going because he'd have to be tracked the whole way or he'd send us back. The others agreed.

We followed Teaspoon's twisty path, even fell for a false trail he had left. We came across some tied up men who had tried to rob Teaspoon and his friend. That was pretty amusing, serves them right for underestimating two old men. We caught up to Teaspoon at a cantina just in time to save them in a gunfight. Teaspoon told us to go home but we didn't. We found out from the owner of the cantina that teaspoon and his friend were some of the only survivors of the Alamo. After we tracked them to the next town to find one man dead, another one of the survivors of the Alamo, we put two and two together. Somebody was killing the survivors, and Teaspoon and his friend were out to warn the rest.

What they didn't know was that they were leading the killer to the others. The killer turned out to be one of the survivors. He led them back to the Alamo. Teaspoon's friend was killed, and Teaspoon wounded but Teaspoon killed the man responsible. Teaspoon was now the only living survivor of the Alamo. We took Teaspoon home but he made us promise not to say anything about the whole thing ever again. He said some things were just best left in the past. I could understand that. Teaspoon has seen a lot of stuff in his life, not all of it has been good; he'd rather remember the good not the bad. I felt the same way, there has been a lot of bad in my life but a lot of good too, I'd much rather remember the good.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: All Kid fan's should be happy ... I plan on bringing him back home in the next chapter. He will be back to being the annoyingly perfect nice guy he is. and he will give a sincere apology to Buck and Lou and the rest of their family.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Ike's POV**

A few weeks after Teaspoon, Buck, and Jimmy returned from wherever it was that they went, they wouldn't tell us Buck wouldn't even tell me, me, Lou, and Buck were in town getting supplies for Emma when a stage coach of mail order brides arrived in town. Most of the women were plain or heavy set, or well past the normal marrying age but the perspective grooms weren't much to speak about either. But there was one that captured my eye the minute she stepped out of the coach.

I could feel Lou's eyes on me as I stared at the strawberry blond woman. "She's taken Ike." Lou spoke just loud enough for me and Buck to hear.

Buck laughed and I bumped my shoulder into Lou's back, she just elbowed me in the ribs. My friends knew me too well; they knew I was captivated by this complete stranger. We moved closer so we could see the presentation. All the women were presented and their grooms came forward to claim them. Then the woman who had my eye was presented last. Her name was Annie. But her groom wasn't there to claim her. The crowd joked about it, but I didn't see anything funny about this situation, the girl looked so embarrassed and upset. If she had come to marry me I sure as hell would have been here on time.

The crowd broke up and went their separate ways. Me, Buck, and Lou hung back waiting to see what Annie was going to do. A messenger showed up just then, the man that Annie was to marry had been caught in a mine cave in, they didn't think he had survived. The man that had organized the mail order brides gave Annie some money for the hotel and said they would get her on the next stage coach and would try again. Then he just walked off leaving her there standing in the middle of the street completely lost.

I didn't even think about it as I went to her, tapping her on the shoulder, she was so soft. She turned to me and I pointed in the direction of the hotel. I gestured to her bag and back to myself but she didn't seem to understand. I saw Buck and Lou out of the corner of my eye; Lou put her hand on Buck's arm and gave him a slight shove in my direction. Buck came forward.

"This is Ike McSwain; he wants to carry your bag for you." Buck said. While I was grateful for his help, I just wished I could have told her myself. I just for once wanted to be able to talk to a girl without Buck having to interpret for me or without having to write what I wanted down on a piece of paper.

"Thank you Mr. McSwain." Annie said with a soft smile at me. I grinned as I picked up her satchel and went in the direction of the hotel.

After I dropped her off I went back to Buck and Lou to get the supplies we were sent into town for in the first place. They both teased me about Annie but I wasn't in the mood to be teased. I just ignored them. Back at the station Buck cornered me in the barn.

"Alright Ike what is wrong with you. You know me and Lou were just kidding around. We didn't mean anything by it." Buck said to me, my back to him.

I just ignored him, but I knew he hadn't gone away. He was just waiting patiently for me to talk. Talk yeah right, that was the problem wasn't it, I couldn't talk. I sighed and turned to face my brother.

"I hate it when you have to interpret for me. I just once wish I could speak to a girl without you having to step in to do the talking. How am I supposed to get a woman of my own when I can't even talk to one without your help?"

"Ike, I'm sorry I was just trying to help. If you want from now on I can just stay out of it." Buck said quietly.

"I know you were only trying to help and if you stayed out of it they wouldn't understand me. I know it's not your fault it's just so frustrating. Most girls don't even want to take the time to learn to understand me, as soon as they find out I can't talk they all pretty much just laugh at me or completely ignore me."

"That girl that came in on the stage coach didn't ignore you. She seem like she very much appreciated your help." Buck pointed out.

"She's pretty isn't she? I wonder what she is going to do now that her groom is presumed dead."

"Who knows, maybe you should go see her again. Take her out for a drive or something." Buck said.

I just grinned and nodded. The next day I asked Emma if I could use the buckboard and went into to town to see if Annie wanted to go for a ride in the country. I found her coming out of church.

"Hello Mr. McSwain. Were you in church today?" Annie asked me.

I just shook my head no. "I find it gives me comfort." She said. I just smiled and nodded, remember the times I had gone with my parents. I handed her the note asking if she wanted to go for a drive. "That sounds wonderful."

I smiled as I assisted her into the buckboard. We drove for a while in silence, Annie making occasional observations. I stopped us in a field of wild flowers and helped her down. We walked for a while, "I guess you're wondering why a girl like me would agree to marry somebody I've never met." She said suddenly.

I nodded my head; the thought had crossed my mind. "I'm from Boston. My parents are both dead, I have no other family and no money. I had no way of supporting myself so I signed up to be a mail order bride. My intended seemed to be a good man from his letters, he was hard working, he wanted to go further west and start a homestead, and he needed a wife to help him." Annie told me.

I felt rather sorry for her. "What are you going to do now?" I signed.

She just looked at me; I knew she couldn't read my signs. "You want to know my plans now right?" she asked. I smiled and nodded. "I don't really know. I guess I'll have to go back to Boston until another match can be found."

I was just about to say she could stay here when she picked up a flower and held it to my nose to smell. I did and started sneezing. "Oh no you're allergic!" Annie cried when I couldn't stop sneezing.

We hurried away from the flowers. By the time we got back to town it was dark. I escorted her to the door of her hotel. "I enjoyed myself Ike." Annie said. I smiled; it was the first time she hadn't called me Mr. McSwain. I leaned in and kissed her softly. She pushed me away.

Damn, I had moved to fast. "I'm sorry." I signed.

Annie put her hand to my face. "Don't be Ike." She said before she kissed my cheek and disappeared inside.

I went back to the station to find Sam at Emma's. They both called me inside to talk to me. They were urging me to use caution. Sam put his foot in his mouth when he said that Annie wasn't very pretty. Emma about had a conniption. I thought she was beautiful.

"She's got her own kind of pretty." I signed.

"Yeah that's what I was trying to say." Sam said trying to get himself out of the hole he dug for himself. I just grinned.

"Just be careful Ike that's all we are trying to say." Emma said. I nodded my head and left to go to the bunkhouse.

What were they afraid of? Did they think I was going to compromise her? Were they worried that I was going to get my heartbroken? I wasn't sure but I thought Annie was worth the risk of whatever happened.

The next day Sam showed up at the station. He had a wanted poster in his hands. The picture on it had the bunkhouse in a dead silence. It was a wanted poster for Kid. He was reportedly riding for Hawke's raiders. None of us wanted to believe that Kid really had become a criminal in the few short months he had been gone. But we didn't know what else to think.

Then Jimmy started hanging out at the school, he was learning to read. But I thought it had more to do with the pretty school teacher. Then one night he didn't come home. Teaspoon told us not to worry about that Jimmy was doing something for him. We just went with it. Teaspoon was always having us do things that had nothing to do with our job as riders.

I invited Annie to dinner at the station. She surprised me when she signed, "I picked up a book on signs so I could learn. I thought it would be helpful for our friendship."

Friendship? I wanted so much more than friendship but she was the first girl other than Lou who had made the effort to learn how to communicate with me. I was really touched. I even saw Buck grinning; Lou had to elbow him in the ribs to get him to stop watching us. I knew I was falling hard for Annie. I knew she was due to leave the day after tomorrow to go back to Boston. So we all made plans to have a big 'going away' dinner for Annie at the restaurant in town, but I had other plans. I was going to ask her to marry me.

The next day Lou came up to me by the corral and handed me a small velvet bag. I opened it to reveal a ring. "What's this?"

Lou blushed and looked down. "It's an engagement ring; I thought you could use it."

"Why did you have this?" I signed. Had Lou been engaged before?

Lou blushed even more. "I bought it when I was with Kid. I'm not sure why really; I never wanted to marry him. I don't know it was silly of me, but I don't need it so you can have it."

Lou had bought herself an engagement ring. I mean I know Lou ain't your typical girl but this even had me surprised especially considering she never wanted to marry Kid. "You sure you don't want to keep it?"

"No … I'm hoping that when we are ready … that … well I want Buck to get me one." Lou stuttered out turning completely red.

I grinned and pulled Lou in for a hug. She pushed away and said, "Don't tell him where you got the ring alright."

"I swear I won't tell anybody. And just so you know when the time is right Buck will ask you to marry him. Believe me he's already planning for a future with you."

Lou cocked her head to the side, "What do you mean Ike?"

I looked around to make sure nobody was watching, "Don't tell him I said anything but, he talked to me right after you two got together and asked if I wanted to start a horse ranch with him … and you. He's already saving his money and wanted me to start saving too. He is also saving up to help you get your brother and sister out of the orphanage … we both are."

Lou had tears in her eyes. "He's really doing that, you both are?"

I nodded. The tears spilled out of Lou's eyes as she threw herself into my arms and hugged me tightly. "Thank you Ike, I don't know how I got so lucky to have you both in my life. A girl could not ask for a better brother than you." Lou said before hurrying away.

I shook my head slightly as I watched her run to Buck and completely surprise him by literally jumping into his arms. He seemed to get over his shock pretty quickly as she kissed him. I knew that their relationship wasn't very physical but if I could judge anything by that kiss, I would guess it was about to get a lot more physical.

I looked back down at the ring in my hand and laughed again. Lou sure was one of a kind. I went and got ready for dinner. All the others were in the bunkhouse doing the same. All but Buck he had a quick run to do. But he offered me a quick good luck before riding out.

Dinner was good but I was too nervous to eat much. Sam kept wondering about why we had to get all dressed up. I saw him wince; I knew Emma must have kicked him under the table. I looked around at my family, they were all watching waiting. Lou gave me an encouraging smile. I swallowed hard as I pulled the bag out of my pocket. I was working on getting the strings untied under the table when the man who had organized the mail order brides came in.

"There she is! Look who is alive. I guess miracles do happen." The man said, as he waved his hand at the big man next to him. I knew who this man was, all my hopes of marrying Annie just flew out the window.

Lou gave me a very sympathetic look as we all exited the restaurant. A small group of army soldiers rode in at that moment, and we were all surprised to see Kid and jimmy with them.

"Sam Hawke's raiders are heading this way!" Jimmy hollered.

"Is that true?" Sam asked the lieutenant in charge.

"They are heading in the opposite direction. These two are riding for the raiders, they are just trying to trick us." The lieutenant said.

"Do you think we would be stupid enough to ride out to find the army if we were really working for Hawke?" Kid asked shouting.

"I can vouch for Mr. Hickok. He was working undercover for a special army agent. Your captain knew nothing about it. Now Kid I don't know anything about." Teaspoon said.

"Kid was working for me." Sam said suddenly. That was news to all of us. I half suspected he was lying, especially judging by the look on Kid's face.

The lieutenant looked like he was wavering when Tompkins came riding in like Hell itself was chasing after him. "Hawke raiders are heading this way. There's at least twenty of them, they'll be here in minutes." Tompkins' shouted.

Sam quickly gave orders to the whole town, everybody taking up positions to defend our town. I turned to Annie and her fiancé. "You need to get out of here."

"What is he saying?" her fiancé asked.

"He wants us to leave." Annie translated.

"Well the way I see it, ya'll can use all the help you can get. And I aim to help." He said. I shook his hand in acceptance of his help.

It wasn't long before the raiders arrived. After a horrific gun fight a lot of them were dead, but so were a good number of townsfolk. Surprisingly we all had made it through without injury. Even Buck who had arrived in the middle of it was safe.

When the rest of the army rode in, it was to a disaster zone. The captain was so sorry he had not believed Jimmy and Kid. "I didn't know." He said.

"Well you sure as hell do now." Teaspoon stated.

We returned to the station, even Kid came with us. He had a lot of explaining to do, but it had to wait. Annie and her fiancé were leaving to go west and we were seeing them off. I knew he was a good man and would take good care of Annie but I was still heartbroken. I held it together as I said my goodbyes, but as soon as they were gone. I took the next run even though it was not mine. I didn't want to break down in front of my family. They had all told me to be careful and I had not listened, I had lost my heart to her and now it was broken. I prayed that the ride across the open prairie would help heal my broken heart.


	22. Chapter 22

**Buck's POV**

I watched my broken hearted brother ride out of the station yard as if hell itself was after him … maybe it was. I know if Lou had not returned my feelings after I had confessed them to her I'd probably have gotten on my horse and rode away across the prairie as well. There was something so freeing about riding a horse as fast as it could go across the plains. It was almost magical; I knew that this run would help Ike. It wouldn't heal his broken heart but it would help him deal with it.

I turned my attention back to my other family members, one in particular, Kid. Teaspoon and Sam were both looking at him waiting on his explanation as to why he had been riding with Hawke's raiders.

"Alright Kid start talking. Why did I have to lie to the army and tell them you were working for me?" Sam asked.

Kid looked down ashamed. "It's kinda a long story Sam … do you think it can wait for a few minutes I kinda need to do something first."

"Alright … but as soon as you take care of your business I want answers." Sam said.

"Why don't we all go inside out of the sun?" Emma suggested before Kid could speak.

Nobody said anything as we filed into the bunkhouse and found places to sit down. Me and Lou sat on my bunk, my arm across her shoulders. Teaspoon sat at the head of the table in his usual chair. Emma sat in the rocker by the window. Sam sat at the table next to Jimmy and Cody. Kid just stayed standing looking at us all.

"I need to apologize for my behavior a few months ago." Kid said to everybody in the room. Then he walked over to stand directly in front of me and Lou. "Lou I am so sorry I called you a whore. You are the farthest thing from it. I was just so mad that you didn't want me that you wanted Buck instead. Buck I thought I was better than you just cause you're part Kiowa. I'm not, not by a long shot. I've done so many stupide things in the past few months. You have no idea how sorry I am that I ever said those things to you, that I ever said you weren't good enough for Lou. You are a much better man for her than I ever could be. If I can do anything to make it up to you two please tell me. If you want me to leave again I will, I don't want to I want to come back to my family, but I'll leave if that is what you want."

Kid looked so ashamed of himself; I could see the sincerity of his words in his eyes. He meant everything he had said. I looked over at Lou who was looking at me, she gave me a slight nod as we both stood up and pulled Kid into an embrace.

"Apology accepted, welcome home brother."

"Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again Kid or I'll have to shoot you… I missed you." Lou said with a slight grin that Kid returned.

"I promise I'll try not to be so stupid anymore." Kid said with a little laugh before turning back to face the rest of the family.

"I guess I owe all of ya'll an apology too." Kid said a bit sheepishly.

"I say just an explanation of where you been and why you were with the raiders would do." Teaspoon said, the others nodded.

"Well that's kinda long story." Kid stated as he sat down at the table across from Sam. Me and Lou moved to sit next to him.

"We've got all the time in the world." Cody said with a grin, I knew he was thinking the longer this story took the less time he'd actually have to work today.

"Alright … when I left here a few months ago I didn't have any idea where I was going to go. So I just let Katy have her head and she took me into a town I've never been in… honestly I got so drunk I can't even recall the name of it. Well I met this woman there. She was beautiful, you know all dolled up like a real lady. She said she was a teacher … I think she really was but I don't know. Anyway I asked her to dinner and one thing led to another and well …. She weren't much of a lady if ya know what I mean … at least not an innocent lady. She wanted me to leave town with her and so I did. She knew I was from the south and that if this war that people are talking about actually happens I wanted to go back and fight for my home. So when we left town she told me she had someone for me to meet. Turns out she wanted me to meet Hawke … who happened to be her husband. She basically blackmailed me, she said if I didn't join up with them she'd tell her husband about what we did and then he'd kill me and there was also the chance that they killed me anyway if I didn't join up. I didn't have a choice Sam. I promise that I was never involved in any of the raids where people died. Mostly Hawke had me delivering messages between him and the men he had placed in charge well he was away. When Jimmy showed up I knew he had to be undercover, Jimmy ain't a southern sympathizer and honestly I'm surprised they ever fell for it." Kid explained it all to us.

"So you had absolutely nothing to do with any of the bank robberies and murders that the raiders were responsible for?" Sam asked.

"I was never involved in anything where people got killed Sam … I did help with a bank robbery in Blue Creek right before Jimmy joined up. I didn't have a choice; if I had refused they would have killed me. Hawke was starting to doubt my loyalties. I couldn't escape they watched me all the time, it wasn't until today that I finally had an opening and I took it, Jimmy right beside me." Kid said.

Sam looked like he was thinking on what Kid had told him. If Sam wanted he could charge Kid with the bank robbery and Kid would most likely be hung. I knew Sam didn't want that to happen but he was charged with keeping the law. Sam sighed, "Alright Kid … I believe ya, I'll take care of the wanted posters, I'll let everybody know that you were working for me to get information on Hawke's raiders but you better not let something like this happen again Kid … I won't cover for you a second time, even if it was your own stupidity that got you into that situation. Oh and I expect a report on your findings on my desk Monday morning."

We all laughed at the look of panic on Kid's face. "A … report? Sam I'm no good at writing."

"Well then I suggest you get one of your friends to help ya with it." Sam said with a grin before standing up. "I need to be getting back into town. There is a lot of cleanup to do. Teaspoon, boys I'm sure people could use your help."

"You can count on us Sam." Teaspoon said.

"Emma." Sam said tipping his hat to our house mother before walking out the door.

After Sam left, Teaspoon looked at Kid. "Well Kid I reckon you learned yourself a valuable lesson. You can't judge a book by its cover. Just cause a women dresses like a lady don't make her one, just like a lady dressing like a man and sleeping in the same room as other men don't make her a whore. The same can be said about the color of one's skin. Don't matter if you're white, red, black, or purple even it's what is in your heart that matters. You've got a good heart Kid you just need to remember to keep a cool head before you speak, otherwise you may end up losing more than you are willing to."

Kid just nodded his head. "I am really sorry about everything." He said quietly.

"We know Kid … we're just glad you're home and are safe. You no idea how worried we've all been about you especially after Sam showed us that wanted poster." Emma stated.

"Alright boys and girl, let's get our chores done so we can get back to town to help whoever needs our help." Teaspoon said.

We all groaned but Cody groaned the loudest as we got up and went outside to do our chores. It had been a hell of a day and it wasn't over yet. At least Kid was home where he belonged, and when I say Kid was home I mean the Kid that had become like family to all of us, the Kid we all loved, not the angry and pigheaded one that left here a few months ago. That one I hoped stayed away for good. My thoughts turned once more to Ike, he had missed Kid's apology and explanation; I knew I'd fill him in on it later, but my main concern was his mental state. I hoped he would be alright.


	23. Chapter 23

**Ike's POV**

The fast ride across the open plains of the prairie did a world of good for my broken heart. There was something so liberating and freeing about riding like the wind. Yes my heart was still broke but I knew in time it would heal. It always has, each day the pain would get less and eventually one day I'll be able to think of Annie without the pain. I knew Annie just hadn't been the woman for me, but she was out there somewhere. I just had to be patient and wait for her.

As I rode back into the station, I caught sight of Lou sitting on the corral fence watching the horses. Nobody else seemed to be around. She turned to look at me as I dismounted. "Hey Ike, how was the ride?"

"Fine, where is everybody?"

"Jimmy is out on a run. Cody had a date with Miss MacPherson and the rest are in town helping Emma with some supplies." Lou said to me.

I climbed up onto the corral railing next to her. "Why didn't you go with them?"

"I was waiting for you. I figured you'd be back soon and thought you might want to talk about it." Lou said softly.

"I appreciate the offer Lou, but I really rather not talk about it."

"I understand Ike. If you change your mind you know you can talk to me. And I'm not sure if it will help or not but I think you should know that if Annie's fiancé hadn't turned back up alive, I'm pretty sure she would have said yes. I could see she cared a great deal about you." Lou told me watching my face carefully.

I swallowed hard and tried to hold back the tears but I couldn't. They slipped down my cheek. Lou scooted closer to me and put her arms around me, holding me as I cried silently. "I'm so sorry Ike, I shouldn't have said anything."

I pulled away from her so I could talk, "No Lou I needed to know. At least I know she cared for me too, that it wasn't one-sided." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the velvet bag, "Thanks for this but I don't think I'll be needing it anytime soon."

"Keep it Ike. The right girl for you will come along before you know it. Sides it was silly of me to buy an engagement ring in the first place." Lou said with a grin.

"Why did you buy it? Even if you had wanted to marry Kid, what on earth possessed you to buy an engagement ring for yourself?" I signed I was really curious about that story.

Lou giggled and blushed, "I don't really know Ike. I guess it made me feel like a girl to have a ring, even if I did have to buy it for myself. It was a real silly thing to do."

I just shook my head and laughed silently. "Well I better go take care of my horse." I signed just before hopping off the corral fence.

"Wait up Ike, I'll help you." Lou called jumping down next to me. I placed the velvet bag back in my pocket as I smiled at her.

We led my horse into the barn and together brushed him down and feed him. As I watched Lou talk to the horse, the way her eyes would light up, I realized what a beautiful woman she really was. Lou had a love for life, she wasn't afraid to be herself, no matter what others may think of her. She was prefect for Buck. She was strong, courageous, and loyal to a fault, she loved with everything in her. I wanted a woman just like her. Hell if Buck didn't have feelings for Lou, I'd want her and not a woman like her.

We had just finished up in the barn when Emma and the boys arrived back. I was surprised to see Buck and Kid talking and joking together. I sent a quick look to Lou. "He apologized and explained why he was with the raiders. It's a pretty long story but we'll fill you in later." I just nodded my understanding as I went forward to greet my family.

Buck smiled when he saw me standing there with Lou. He dismounted in front of me and gave me a quick hug. He didn't say anything but I could tell he had been worried about me. "I'm fine really."

Buck just squeezed my shoulder before he moved on to give Lou a quick kiss. I looked over to see Kid's reaction to the display of affection. Kid just smiled and went about his business of taking care of the horses. It looked like the old Kid had returned. After the horses and supplies had been taken care of we all were just sitting around the bunkhouse enjoying a lazy day. Kid had told me his story as I helped with the horses. We were all enjoying separate pursuits. Cody was reading one of his latest dime novels. Kid was mending Katy's bridle. Buck was sitting on his bunk, his back against the wall with Lou sitting in front of him leaning against his chest. It appeared as though Buck was reading to Lou quietly but I had a feeling whatever he was whispering in her ear had nothing to do with the words on the pages of the book in Lou's hand … especially considering the fact that she hadn't turned the page in over ten minutes. I knew Buck wasn't that slow of a reader.

I grinned and looked back down to my own idle pursuit. I had my sketch pad out and was in the process of drawing the happy couple across from me, without them even being aware of it. After I put the finishing touches to it, I flipped to the beginning of my book and looked at all the images I had drawn. The first ones were rough and not very good but they steadily got better. Each image was a moment like this that I wanted to capture forever. A moment of complete peace and contentment. All the images were of the different members of my family. Even the ones that were no longer with me, my mother, father, and sister. And then the one I had drawn right before this one was of Annie. Looking at her image brought tears to my eyes. I thought about just tearing the picture out and throwing it away but I decided against it. In time it wouldn't hurt so much to look at her picture and maybe in time when I looked at it all I would feel was fond memories. I prayed that day would come soon.

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><p><strong>AN: I just wanted to get everybodies opinion on if they think I should bring Rachel in as housemother or keep Emma and Sam in the story. Or should I bring Rachel in but still keep Emma and Sam in the story? Thoughts?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Buck's POV**

Life at the station soon settled back into the everyday routine. Ike's heartbreak slowly healed; in time I knew he'd be just fine. Kid even settled back in as if he'd never been gone in the first place. Even though he'd apologized to me and Lou and the rest of the family, there was still an unspoken tension whenever I was alone with Kid. I knew it had to do with Lou. I knew Lou loved me but I also knew that Kid still loved her. I knew that if people knew of our relationship they would give Lou a hard time. I feared the day that she would realize what Kid and I both knew; I wasn't good enough for her.

Because of this fact I've been keeping a tight rein on my natural impulses. Ever since the day Ike was going to propose to Annie, Lou had become almost aggressive in our relationship, not violent wise, she was pushing to take the step to the next level. There were many times when we'd be in the barn mucking out stalls, as soon as we had put out the fresh hay she'd be in my arms. Most of the time we'd end up in one of the clean piles of hay, wrapped in each other's arms, it wouldn't be until I realized that she had managed to get me out of my shirt, leaving me bare chested, that I'd come to my senses and put a stop to what I know would have followed. I couldn't take the chance that I'd get Lou with child, I didn't want her to have to deal with the stigma of a carrying a half breed's bastard. I know I hurt Lou every time I pushed her away. I tried to explain but she just kept telling me she didn't care what people thought, and I know she didn't, but I loved Lou too much to let her suffer because of me. I just wasn't good enough for her; I knew that, I just couldn't let her go.

Things got interesting around the station when Sam and Emma finally got married. I knew Lou was worried that when Emma and Sam married that we'd lose them but we didn't. Sam even turned down being territorial marshal so they could stay in Sweetwater. But since Emma was married and I know they wanted to start a family, she needed some more help with her chores around the station. Having to care for eight people … wait I mean nine, I forgot to mention we got a new rider named Noah Dixon, a free black man with a huge chip on his shoulder that he has every right to carry, was a lot of work for one woman. So Teaspoon hired a lady to help Emma with the cooking and cleaning and any of the other things Emma needed help with. Ms. Rachel Dunne, 'now there's a woman who can fill out a blouse' as Cody said. The woman was beautiful and I thought Emma and Lou both were going to have a cow when they first met her.

All of the guys, me included, could not keep our eyes from looking down her blouse whenever she bent over, but come on they were so damn low cut we couldn't help it and believe me I tried. I didn't want Lou mad at me for staring at Rachel. Emma looked fit to be tied with all of us. But especially Sam who seemed to be having the same problem as the rest of us, we're just guys after all, we can't control ourselves sometimes. I'll tell ya though I thought I was going to die laughing at the scolding Emma gave us all after Lou rushed from the bunkhouse and Rachel followed her. I know I shouldn't laugh but it was just so funny. I'd never seen Emma so worked up. When I couldn't help the snicker that escaped my lips Emma rounded on me.

"Don't even think about laughing Buck Cross. Louise just ran out of here because you boys couldn't quit ogling Ms. Dunne, but mostly because you couldn't. Do you have any idea how you have probably made her feel? And you Sam Cain, you'd best start keeping your eyes on your plate or on me if you don't want to be sleeping out here with the rest of these boys." Emma said rounding on Sam.

We both dropped our eyes to our plates. The others guys snicker at us until Emma rounded on them again, but I didn't stay to listen. I got up and went after Lou. I overheard her in the barn talking to Rachel. And Lou was pissed, not so much at me, but at Rachel.

"What the hell do you expect Rachel! They can't help but stare down your shirt when you lean over and practically fall out of your top! They may do a man's job but they are still teenage boys. If they were men I'd doubt they be any better behaved when you go around dressing like a saloon girl!" Lou shouted at her.

I could hear Rachel silently crying, I was about to go in and say something when I felt a small hand on my back. "Let me take care of it Buck." Emma whispered. I just nodded and watched as Emma went into the barn with the other two ladies at the station.

"Loulabelle, that wasn't very nice." Emma scolded softly.

Lou looked upset and ashamed, "Rachel I'm … I'm sorry, that was uncalled for, I … it's just the way that Buck was looking at you … I …" Lou was blushing furiously.

"What is it Louise, you can talk to me and Emma." Rachel said quietly.

I knew I should leave, that this was a private conversation, but I had to know what I could do to make it up to Lou, I had to know just what I had done, this was more than just me looking at Rachel.

"I thought that must be the reason Buck doesn't want me." Lou whispered. I was completely confused.

"What do you mean Loulabelle? Why would Buck not want you?" Emma asked.

"Because I … I don't have … " Lou said waving a hand at Rachel's chest.

"Breast? Because you don't have breast?" Rachel asked, trying really hard not to laugh the same as Emma. What the hell was Lou talking about? She had breast, they were the prefect size for her small body, sides she's only seventeen.

"You got them and I don't." Lou muttered clearly embarrassed turning away from them.

They were both looking at each other trying to figure out what to say, when I stepped quietly inside, Emma looked back at me and smiled. They both quietly slipped out of the barn leaving me alone with Lou. I wasn't sure what I could say to make her feel better; I knew she hadn't wanted me to hear that. I walked quietly up to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. I felt her stiffen under my touch.

"Lou?" I said softly.

She turned to face me, "How much of that did you hear?"

"enough." I said. Lou turned even brighter red. "You know that's complete nonsense don't you?"

"I've seen you looking at her Buck. You can't tell me you don't find her attractive. You can't tell me that you haven't been looking down her shirt." Lou said in a low but deadly tone I knew well, she'd used it on Kid often enough.

"Louise I won't lie to you, yes Rachel is a beautiful woman, and yes I've been looking down her shirt. I'm a guy I can't help it when she leans over and well you know. But I will tell you this, I don't want her. I want you. You're beautiful, and if you wore a blouse like that I guarantee I'd be trying to look down it too, same as every guy in that bunkhouse. I'd kick their butts if they did."

Lou laughed softly, "But I couldn't fill out a blouse like that."

"Louise Rachel is a grown woman, you're still only seventeen; you haven't finished growing. Personally I think you're just right the way you are now." I said quietly my hand running up her side, my thumb brushing the side of her breast. Lou let out a small moan at the contact and it was all I could do not to take her up in the hayloft and make her mine right then.

"Never doubt that I want you Lou. You have no idea how much I want you, if we don't get out of here I'll be forced to show you how much." I whispered huskily when she moved closer to me her chest pressing against mine, her small hands pulling at my shirt.

"Show me Buck … please, I need you to show me." Lou whispered before kissing me with a passion that I wasn't expecting nor was prepared to fight.

I was lost. I pulled her harshly against me, my lips ravishing hers. Her hands went to the back of my head, working into my hair. Somehow we had managed to walked until I had her pressed against the barn wall; I felt one of her legs hitch around behind me. I reached down, placing my hands on her bottom and lifted her so she could wrap both legs around my waist. I couldn't stop this now if I tried. I pulled us away from the wall and slowly lowered Lou into a pile of fresh hay. My lips left hers; trailing kisses down her jaw and neck. My hands went to her shirt and slowly started undoing the buttons. I felt her hands leave my hair to start doing the same to me.

We sat up to remove our shirts, her small hands pushing my shirt and vest from my shoulders, mine doing the same to her. She reached down and pulled off my long john top. I wished that Lou favored the two piece long johns instead of the union suit that she was wearing. I bite back a groan when I realized it would take me longer to get to her skin. I moved to her pants and quickly had them pulled off along with her shoes. Lou's hands went to the ties of my buck skin pants, I felt them brush over me; it was torture. Soon enough though I was just in my long john bottoms, Lou in her long johns the only thing separating our bodies. My lips attacked hers again as my fingers started undoing the buttons of her long johns.

I broke away from her mouth and kissed down her body as the flesh became exposed. My lips latched onto her chest as the beauty that had been hidden was revealed. Lou moaned softly at feel of my lips on her sensitive skin. My own desire for this small woman was becoming painful, I needed release and I needed it soon, but I wanted to please Lou first. I sat back up and pulled her long johns from her body leaving her completely exposed to me. "You're beautiful.' I whispered huskily as I drank in the sight of her nude body.

Lou just smiled as she pulled me down into the hay beside her, forcing me onto my back. She moved to pull my long john bottoms off of me, freeing me. My desire plain for her to see, she blushed brightly looking at my body. I felt my own cheeks flush. Did she find me as desirable as I found her?

She moved to straddle my waist, sitting on my stomach. She leaned down and kissed me pulling back she said, "You're beautiful."

I grinned as I quickly flipped her so she was pinned beneath me. I couldn't stand anymore, I needed her. I needed to be inside of her, I needed to make her mine, but I had to be sure. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked barely restraining myself.

Lou gave me a wicked grin before she hitched her legs behind me, effectively drawing me into her. We both hissed as I entered her body for the first time. I held still as I looked upon her face. "I love you Louise." I whispered, tears in my eyes. I never thought I would be able to do this with her.

Lou gave me a breath taking smile, "I love you more." She whispered before she pulled my head down so she could kiss my lips. She thrust her tongue into my mouth and in response I thrust my hips. We both groaned in pleasure as we danced a dance that had been choreographed since the beginning of time. Afterwards we lay spent and clinging to each other in the hay. I knew we needed to get up and dressed but exhaustion won out and we drifted to sleep. I woke some time later; the sun was just beginning to rise. I realized we had been covered by a blanket. I wondered who had been out there. I was embarrassed to think that anyone had seen us like this.

I gently shook Lou awake and then we quickly dressed before slipping out of the barn and back into the bunkhouse. The others were still asleep … well all except Ike. When we entered we found him sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee, a teasing grin on his face. "About time you two woke up." He signed.

We both flushed and I moved closer to so I wouldn't wake the others as I asked "were you the one who covered us?"

Ike grinned and nodded. "Don't worry, the way you were holding Lou the only thing I saw was her butt. Nice." Ike signed the last he gave me a devilish grin. I smacked him upside his head as he broke into silent laughter. Lou came over and sat next to him.

She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You have nice ass too Ike." She whispered causing him to turn bright red.

I started chuckling, "And just when did you see his ass?" I whispered loudly.

"Let's just say … I wanted to go for a swim one day but apparently the rest of you had the same idea and I got my eye full of all of you 'men'." Lou said quietly with a sly grin that had both me and Ike flush hotly.

"You're evil Lou." Ike signed.

"Like you wouldn't have spied on me if you'd been given the opportunity." She teased us. We both grinned knowing we probably would have.

The others started waking up then and soon Rachel came into the bunkhouse to start making our breakfast. She looked over at me and Lou and winked. I noticed that her blouse today actually covered everything. Emma, Sam, and Teaspoon all came in as Rachel was putting the food on the table. The three other adults all looked at me and Lou as they sat down. Sam was looking like he was trying not to laugh, Teaspoon was chuckling silently. And Emma though she looked amused, looked slightly disappointed in us. It wasn't until the others sat down and really looked at us and started laughing that we realized what was wrong. Both of us had hay stuck all in our hair and all over our clothes.

We both flushed and looked down. The guys started teasing us mercilessly. "Alright boys that's enough. What happened in the barn between Buck and Lou is private and their business. I don't want to hear another one of you tease them about it. Loulabelle I would like a word with you though after breakfast." Emma said sternly.

"Yes ma'am" the boys all said. Lou just nodded.

Neither one of us ate much of our breakfast. We were both nervous as to what Emma was going to say to Lou. I knew I should have controlled myself better but I didn't regret what we had shared at all. I hoped Lou didn't either. As soon as breakfast was over Lou left the bunkhouse with Emma heading into the main house. I hoped that Emma didn't give Lou too hard of a time.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the delay in the update ... but I had family visiting for Thanksgiving and wanted to focus on them and not this story. So I hope this nice long chapter makes it up to ya'll. And just so you know I was completely surprised by what happened in the barn, I knew it was coming, I just didn't know it would be this soon. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Ike's POV**

When I walked into the barn that morning I had expected to find Buck and Lou in there … I just hadn't expected to find them that 'exposed'. I was slightly embarrassed by it but also found myself wishing that Buck wasn't holding Lou to him quite so closely. I mean I'd never seen a naked woman before and I really would have liked to see Lou. I knew they both be embarrassed though if they were any more exposed then they were, so I picked up a horse blanket and put it over them. Surprisingly Buck didn't wake up; Lou must have really worn him out.

Back in the bunkhouse I had just set down to drink some coffee, the image of Lou wrapped in Buck's arms still fresh in my mind. When the two lovebirds walked in I knew I had to tease them a little. So I told Buck that Lou had a nice rear-end. I hadn't expected Lou to tell me I had a nice ass in return. Apparently that one surprised Buck too because he asked when she'd seen it. I wasn't really surprised when she said she'd spied on us when we went swimming one day.

I wished I had taken a better look at the two of them but I was having a hard time meeting their eyes, the image of them wrapped in each other's arms still burned into my brain, if I had looked at them closer I would have warned them about the hay still stuck in their hair and on their clothes. The guys tormented them about it; I'd never seen either one of them turn that shade of red before. Emma looked amused but disappointed at the same time. She wanted to speak to Lou privately after breakfast.

After they left I went back to the barn with Buck to talk to him while he saddled his horse for his run. I hit my chest to get his attention. "Buck what was it like?" I signed looking down embarrassed; I could feel my whole face flushing.

"What was what like?" Buck asked. I knew he knew what I was talking about, I looked back up at him and just stared, his face was completely red again. "I don't know how to describe it Ike… it was … it was amazing, terrifying, exhilarating, humbling, it was everything I ever dreamed it would be and more. It was worth waiting for the right woman to share it with." Buck told me quietly.

"You don't regret it? I know you were scared about what would happen if Lou got pregnant, are you still worried about that?"

"I don't regret what we did but I'm still terrified about what will happen to Lou if I did get her pregnant. I know we can't let this happen again … no matter how much I may want it to happen again, every night for the rest of my life." Buck said shoving his hands through his hair.

"You know if Lou did happen to get pregnant that you both will have all of our support. You two love each other and are meant to be together. Maybe you should think about asking Lou to marry you."

"She ain't ready for that… if I asked her now she'd run for the hills." Buck stated with a small laugh.

I just shrugged my shoulders. I had a feeling that Lou maybe more ready to marry Buck than he realized. She wouldn't have let things go that far if she wasn't. We heard the sound of a horse approaching and knew that he needed to leave on his run. We walked out of the barn Buck waiting for the pouch.

"Ike can you talk to Lou for me … make sure she's ok, I'm afraid Emma might be a little hard on her."

"You know I will Buck. Ride Safe." I signed after he mounted up. With a nod a me he was gone.

I watched him for a minute longer before turning towards the main house where Lou was still inside with Emma. Man I wish I was a fly on the wall so I could hear what was going on. But since I wasn't I just got started on my chores. About an hour later Lou finally came out of Emma's and went straight to the bunkhouse. The others were all away on runs or in town with Rachel getting supplies. I was the only one at the station so I knew this was my best chance to speak to Lou alone, so I stopped what I was doing and went into the bunkhouse to talk to Lou.

Lou was lying on her bunk when I entered; tears rolling down her cheeks, her eyes closed. I walked quietly towards her she didn't even look up. I raised my hand and brushed the tears away. She cracked her eyes to look at me. The pain in them about tore my heart out. "What is it Lou?"

"Emma is disappointed in me. She knows I love Buck and that Buck loves me but she thinks we should have waited. She's worried about what the town will say if I happened to get pregnant last night." Lou whispered.

"Who gives a damn what the town thinks … we're your family and we will love you and Buck no matter what." I signed in a huff.

Lou gave me a crooked grin, "I know that Ike and Emma says she will love and support us no matter what too, she's just doesn't want me to get hurt. She suggested that Buck and I get married. I told her I'd love to marry Buck and I know he wants to marry me but I made it clear to him a long time ago that I wasn't ready to settle down. Now I'm afraid that if I say anything about wanting to get married he'll think I only want to get married cause of what we did so I can protect what little reputation I have left."

"Buck wouldn't think that Lou. He loves you; I know he wants to get married now. He's just afraid that if he asked you now you'd run to the hills. I could try to talk to him when he gets back, try to get him to see that you're ready without making him think that it's just because you might be pregnant."

"No that's alright Ike. I want Buck to ask me on his own … I don't want you to encourage him. Maybe if I start acting more like a girl around here, you know wearing dresses and cooking and stuff maybe he'll get the hint that I'm ready to settle down." Lou said wistfully.

I could see in her face that she really didn't like that idea. "Lou just be yourself. You don't need to change who you are to get Buck to ask you. Maybe just start talking about being ready to bring Jeremiah and Teresa home, talk about the ranch we want to start. We almost have enough money; just a couple more months ought to do it since all three of us are saving for it. You can bring that up; tell him it won't be long before we're ready to start our new life together. That should give him the hint without you having to change who you are because I happen to know Buck loves you for you not for what you wear or what you can cook."

Lou started laughing, "That's probably a good thing Ike cause I can't cook to save my life!"

"Maybe we should start taking cooking lessons from Rachel and Emma so we won't starve when we do start that ranch." I signed laughing.

Lou just laughed and hopped out of her bunk. "Come on Ike let's go swimming while the others are gone."

My mind immediately flashed to the scene I had walked in on earlier and then Lou's confession of spying. "Alright I know you just want to see my backside again." I signed with a wink.

"Ike!" Lou exclaimed smacking my arm playfully. I just laughed silently as we made our way to the swimming hole.

We'd only been there for a few minutes when the rest of the guys found us. Even Sam and Teaspoon decided to join in the fun. We were all having a good time until one of the guys accidently brushed up against Lou. Nobody else noticed the look of panic that shot across her face and flashed in her eyes. She immediately backed away and headed towards the shore. I swam after her and gentle touched her shoulder before she got out.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine Ike … I just need to go get ready for my run." Lou lied, she didn't have a run.

"You're lying. You can tell me Lou."

"Not here Ike … please just … just let me go." Lou whispered her eyes starting to tear up.

"Alright, I'll make an excuse for you. We'll talk later."

Lou just nodded her head in agreement before fleeing the pond. The guys called after her. "What's the matter with Lou?" Cody asked.

"She forgot that Emma needed her help with something."

"Emma didn't tell me about anything when I stopped in there before coming down here." Sam said.

I just sent him a pleading look. "Oh wait I remember now… she needed Lou's help with a dress she's working on." Sam came up with real quick.

"Lou don't sew." Kid piped up.

"Naw … Lou ain't a girl like that." Cody added.

"No Emma needed Lou to wear the dress to so she could pin up the hem, they're the same height after all." Sam lied effortlessly.

"Now that makes more sense than Lou sewing." Noah said with a chuckle.

The guys soon forgot about Lou's abrupt departure and got back to enjoying the water on this hot day. It wasn't long though before we were headed back to the station for lunch. I knew it probably be later that afternoon before I'd be able to talk to Lou, if then, Buck should be back before dinner; maybe he can talk to her about the panic I saw on her face. It maybe something she wouldn't want to share with me after all. But if she's going to marry Buck they shouldn't have any secrets.


	26. Chapter 26

**Buck's POV**

I was running so late. My horse had thrown a shoe so it had put me hours behind schedule. I knew my family would be worried about me. I knew Lou would be worried about me. And I really wanted to get back home to find out what Emma had talked to Lou about. So I pushed myself to continue on the way entering the station yard around ten at night. The lights were all off in the bunkhouse and the main house so I figured everybody must already be asleep. I made my way into the barn to care for my horse.

I wasn't in there for more than a few minutes when I heard footsteps approaching; I smiled automatically recognizing the person heading my way. I turned to see Ike just entering the barn pulling his suspenders up onto his shoulders stifling a yawn. "You look tired brother."

"So do you." Ike signed back with his good natured grin. "What happened?"

"Horse threw a shoe. Ya'll weren't worried about me were ya?" I asked knowing that they had been, at least he and Lou had been.

"Well you know the only thing Cody was worried about was supper being held up on account of you running late." Ike signed laughing silently. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. "Lou was real worried about you though, so was I."

"I figured as much. Did Lou… ah did she say anything …about her talk with Emma?"

"Yeah she was a little upset afterwards. Emma was disappointed that you two didn't wait. She's worried about what the town folks will say if Lou ended up pregnant." Ike signed.

"That's what I was afraid of. She didn't give Lou too hard of a time did she?"

"No … she made it clear that she would support you two no matter what. She's just worried about the townsfolk being mean to Lou." Ike signed with a compassionate smile at me.

"Don't matter if Lou got pregnant or not, once they find out she's with me they are going to give her a hard time of it, but they would be even worse if she was. She'll be branded as a 'half breed's whore' no matter what." I slumped down on a bale of hay with my head in my hands.

"What the hell was I thinking Ike? I love Louise more than anything in the world but because of my skin color she's going to be ostracized. I should never have told her how I felt. I should never have let things get this far."

I felt Ike touch my shoulder to get my attention, "Lou loves you. She wants to marry you. She don't care about what the people in this town think. The only people that matter to her, love you as much as they do her, so we could care less what color your skin is. And if you're worried about Lou being pregnant you should ask her to marry you. I happen to know she'd probably say yes."

"Thanks Ike … we should probably get to bed." I said as I stood up and together with my brother made my way to the bunkhouse.

I had just stripped down to my long johns and was fixing to crawl into my bunk when Lou let out a horrifying scream in her sleep. I rushed to her side as the others bolted up right in their bunks.

"NOOOO! PLEASE DON'T! STOP! NOOOO!" Lou screamed over and over again thrashing around on her bed.

"Lou honey wake up!" I called shaking her gently. "Louise it's alright, you're safe. Baby open your eyes!"

Lou stopped screaming but refused to open her eyes, she just started sobbing clinging to me for dear life. I pulled her off her bunk and carried her to mine where I sat and cradled her in my arms rocking her gently, singing a Kiowa lullaby to her softly. Soon her sobs ceased and her breathing evened out. I realized she had fallen asleep. I didn't make a move to move her; I just continued to hold her. I opened my eyes and looked around the bunkhouse to see the guys all sitting in their bunks or at the table watching us. The question in their eyes apparent.

"What the hell was that about?" Jimmy asked finally.

"She was having on hell of a nightmare." Noah muttered.

"Sounded like she was fighting with someone." Cody piped in.

I caught Ike's eyes and he was giving me a look that I couldn't understand. But I could tell he wanted to say something to me that he didn't want to say in front of the others. "She's alright now, why don't ya'll try to get some sleep." I told the other guys.

"You sure she's alright Buck?" Kid asked, the worry he really felt for Lou plain in his tone.

"Yes… it was just a nightmare." I said, but I knew it was more of a memory than anything else.

After the others had finally settled back in Ike made his way over to me and sat on the edge of my bunk looking at Lou, a tear escaping his eyes. "That explains what happened at the swimming hole." Ike signed still looking at Lou.

"What are you talking about Ike?" I whispered.

"We went swimming earlier today, everything was fine, we were all laughing and joking around, rough housing in the water, and then one of the boys accidently brushed up against Lou and she got this panicked look in her eyes. I was the only one to notice. She took off back her right after that. I tried to get her to talk to me when I came back from the swimming hole but she wouldn't. Buck I think someone 'hurt' her before." Ike signed a look of complete anguish on his face.

I sighed and whispered low enough that only Ike could hear me just in case the others were still awake. "She was raped when she was thirteen, shortly after she left the mission she went to work doing laundry in what she thought was respectable establishment. It wasn't, she found that out too late, the owner raped her. She fled with the help of one of the other girls right after that, that's one of the reasons she pretends to be a boy."

"I was afraid of that." Ike signed. "Why do you think now after all this time she would start to panic in the swimming hole and have nightmares? I mean she's gone swimming with us before and we've brushed up against her like what happened today. Why now?"

"I don't know Ike… maybe it has to do with what we did in the barn last night. I really don't know." I whispered.

Ike just nodded his head and went to his bunk. I cradled Lou the rest of the night, never really drifting off into a deep sleep. I woke several times to Lou whimpering and I would start whispering to her in Kiowa, pledging my unending love to her. The Kiowa words seemed to soothe her. Morning finally arrived and Lou woke up. She pulled away from me confused as to way I was holding her in my arms. The others weren't awake yet.

"What's going on Buck?" she whispered, "Why are you holding me in your bed?"

"When I got back last night and was getting ready for bed you started screaming in your sleep. I tried to wake you but you wouldn't wake up. I finally got you to stop screaming but you just started sobbing, so I carried you over here so I could comfort you. You dreamed about the attack didn't you?" I asked softly.

Lou's eyes filled with tears. "Yeah … I thought I had gotten over the nightmares and the panic."

"Was it because of what we did … did that bring back the memories. I didn't make you do something you weren't ready for did I?" I asked afraid that I had pushed her into having sex with me.

Lou looked up at me shocked, "Buck you didn't make me do anything, if I remember correctly I was the one that started things between us. I will admit it might have brought back the memories… you are the first man I have been with since the attack, the only one I have given myself to of my own choice."

"I'm so sorry sweetheart that I caused the memories to come back." I whispered running my hand down her arms.

"Buck I want you to listen to me and listen to me good. I don't regret what we did, not one bit. And I said it 'might' have triggered the memories. It could also be the fact that it's been five years ago today that it happened. If anything being around you and the others have held the nightmares back. Since I started working here, I've felt safe and haven't had any nightmares or panic attacks when one of you accidently brushed up against me. Before I started working here, I had nightmares several times a week, and panic attacks almost every time a guy touched me. I hate that everybody saw me like that last night." Lou finished the last part said so softly I almost didn't hear it.

"They were worried about you. Ike figured out that you been 'hurt' in your past. The others I don't think figured it out though."

"Is Ike disgusted by me now?" Lou asked looking up at me with an expression that about broke my heart.

Neither one of us were aware that Ike was awake until he touched Lou's shoulder. "I'm not disgusted with you. It wasn't your fault. I'm just so sorry that it happened to you. You know we'd never let something like that happened to you again."

"He's right Lou … anybody even so much as looks at you wrong they'll have to deal with the rest of us." Jimmy said suddenly causing us both to look up to see all the guys watching us.

"How much of that did ya'll hear?" Lou asked her voice cracking.

"Enough to know why you were screaming and thrashing around in your sleep last night." Noah said looking over at us.

"Who hurt you Lou?" Kid asked.

"Why?" Lou asked.

"We want to know who we need to kill." Cody added with a steel tone to his voice that I never heard before.

"It's in the past boys; five years in the past… he can't hurt me again." Lou whispered.

I saw the looks of horror cross the guys faces when they realized that she'd only been thirteen at the time.

"Lou it may be too late to protect you, but we can protect other girls like you from the man that hurt you." Jimmy said as he knelt down in front of Lou.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Louise it's your choice to tell them, but you know I already know who did it and if I ever come across him he is a dead man."

"His name is Simon Wicks; he owns a brothel in St. Joe." Lou stated in a cold tone.

"We'll remember that name." Cody said.

"Lou don't ever think that what that man did to you was your fault. Don't ever think that any of us think less of you because of what he did. We love you." Kid said suddenly, the others murmuring their agreement.

Lou stood up suddenly and went around the room hugging all of the guys before coming back to me and slipping back in to my arms. I held her for a few more minutes before I released her so we could get dressed before Rachel, Emma, Sam, and Teaspoon made their morning appearances. I knew now that the guys knew what had happened to Lou they'd be even more protective of her, and would go out of their way to keep the nightmares at bay, to make her really feel safe. I still felt I was partially to blame for this episode though.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the delay in the update but I was house sitting for the past few days and wasn't able to work on this story, So I hope this longish chapter makes up for the wait.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Ike's POV**

It was the one thing I feared the most; my sister had been raped by some worthless piece of pond scum who doesn't deserve to draw another breath. The name Simon Wicks went on my list of people that needed to be killed, he was right below the name of the man that had killed my family. I wasn't the only one that was gunning for this bastard now, I knew that look on Buck's face, the one on Jimmy's he used when facing men in the street. Noah and Kid both had a hard look on their face that wasn't usually there but it was the look on Cody's face that shocked me the most. Cody the big goof of our group, the happy go lucky, doesn't get that easily riled looked like he was ready to gut and quarter the bastard right now, I've never seen that look on his face ever.

It was a very subdued group that greeted Emma, Sam, Teaspoon, and Rachel that morning. I could see the looks of concern on Emma and Rachel's faces. Teaspoon and Sam knew immediately that someone was going to be killed. After the ladies, all of them Lou included, left the bunkhouse after breakfast Sam brought up what was on everybody's minds.

"Alright boys, what the hell has gotten your goats up?" Sam asked.

We all looked at each other and then to Buck, who sat stoned face refusing to answer.

"Buck would ya care to enlighten us why all you boys look like you're ready to kill somebody?" Teaspoon asked looking at my best friend and brother.

"It ain't my place to say Teaspoon." Buck responded not meeting his eyes.

Sam and Teaspoon shared a look and then looked over at the rest of us again. I know they saw the same look on all our faces. Teaspoon settled his eyes on my face, I tried to keep my face devoid of emotion but I've never been good at hiding what I was feeling and right now I was feeling anger, horror, and anguish over what Lou had been through and I know Teaspoon saw it in my eyes.

"Ike what's wrong?" Teaspoon asked.

I closed my eyes and shook my head; I knew a few tears leaked out the corners. I couldn't tell them what happened to Lou. I knew they would try to stop what the rest of us were planning on doing.

"Teaspoon I think I know what these boys are hiding." Sam said quietly.

We all looked at Sam begging him to not say anything. "Well what do ya think they are hiding?" Teaspoon asked the marshal.

"Simple, something happened to Lou probably long before they knew her and they just found out about it. Now they want revenge against the man that hurt her." Sam said not looking at us only at Teaspoon.

None of us missed the tick in Sam's jaw as he said that, nor the gasp of air that Teaspoon sucked in as the meaning of Sam's words became clear. Teaspoon turned to us with a fire in his eyes that would have made many of men piss their pants in fear. "Who the hell hurt that girl!" Teaspoon bellowed.

We all looked at Buck again. "A bastard that ain't going to be long on this earth if I ever come across his sorry ass." Buck seethed through his teeth.

"A name Buck!" Sam demanded in a deadly tone. It was clear to all of us now that neither of these men would stop us from going after the bastard.

"Wicks. Simon Wicks." Buck stated with no emotion in his voice whatsoever.

"Do we know where he is at?" Teaspoon asked.

"St. Joe." Jimmy replied.

"And I guess you boys want to go to St. Joe and take care of this rat bastard." Teaspoon said.

We all nodded. "Teaspoon we can't just send them all after this man. If they get caught killing him they'll be hung. Buck and Noah probably wouldn't even get a fair trial." Sam said.

Teaspoon sighed, "I know and Buck I know you want to be the one to avenge Lou but I just can't let you do it. Jimmy I think you're going have to go after this man, never thought you're reputation as Wild Bill would come in handy." Teaspoon muttered the last part under his breath.

"I'll do it gladly." Jimmy said moving to get his colts and his bedroll.

"Hold up there Jimmy, ya ain't going alone. Someone needs to go with you just in case you get into trouble." Teaspoon said before looking around the room at each of us. We were all silently begging to be the one to go. "Cody you go with Hickok." Damn I wanted to do this for Lou.

"Sure thing Teaspoon." Cody said as he got his stuff together.

Jimmy and Cody rode out within the hour, Lou having no clue as to what was going on. And none of us told her.

The following days went by slowly, we knew it be well over a week before Jimmy and Cody returned but we were still anxious to know that the bastard was dead. Before they came back however we had a slight epidemic scare in Sweetwater. Several people came down with it, and it was feared that it was cholera. So Teaspoon sent Buck to Laramie with a sample to take to the doctor's there to test to see what was wrong with everybody.

While he was gone, Teaspoon, Rachel, and Kid became sick. Sam, myself, Noah, and Barnett were left to defend the town against some people from a nearby town who wanted to burn Sweetwater down to keep the cholera from spreading. Emma and Lou had their hands full caring for the sick at the station. Just when things were about to go straight to hell with the ringleader of the group of men set to burn Sweetwater to the ground by trying to hang the boy who they thought had brought the disease to the town Buck came riding in.

He looked like hell. He quickly explained that the disease wasn't cholera it was bad meat. He had eaten some on the way home and got sick, but was able to use an Indian remedy to get better. He had enough of the herbs to treat the whole town. No wonder he looked like hell I thought. The idiot ringleader though wasn't giving up and still tried to hang the boy. Sam was able to shoot the rope so the boy didn't hang. When the idiot tried to shoot at Sam Buck's knife ended up in his chest. The crowd dispersed and Tompkins of all people took the boy home to stay with him until they could find another place for him to live.

We all returned home after Buck gave the medicine to the doctor and explained how to use it. Back at the station he treated Rachel, Teaspoon, and Kid. Emma and Lou looked exhausted so we made them go to bed and took over for them.

Everybody was back on their feet by the next day. Still weak from lack of food but healthy. Kid made up for not eating for several days at breakfast. Emma picked on him about it saying that he was starting to eat like Cody, but I knew she was happy that he was feeling better.

After breakfast me, Lou, and Buck were in the barn cleaning stalls when Lou spoke up. "You know I was counting my savings the other day and I think it won't be long now before I have the money to get Jeremiah and Theresa."

"Really? That's good, I know me and Ike have a good bit saved up too, it probably only be a few more months before we have enough to get a spread." Buck replied looking up at the love of his life with a wide grin.

"You really think so Buck? I know I'm looking forward to getting my siblings out and starting a new life together with them and you, and of course Ike." Lou said turning my way giving me a smile.

"I say it will probably only be four more months before we have the money." I signed with a grin. I knew what Lou was doing. She was taking my advice to try to get Buck to see that she was ready to settle down.

"Good I can't wait. I'm so tired of having to pretend to be a boy; I'm ready for everybody to know I'm really Louise. I ready to have a family again." Lou replied softly.

Buck had a hopefully smile on his face. "It won't be long Louise before we can get them and bring them home so we can all be together as a family."

Lou didn't miss the 'all' part of that sentence. Her face broke out in a beautiful smile, "I'm really looking forward to that part Buck." she whispered.

I grinned and returned to my work when they both got lost in each other's eyes. I knew Lou had gotten her point across that she was ready to settle down with Buck and I knew Buck would be asking her to marry him any time now. He just had to get a ring first. I think he probably might want to wait until we have our land too, that way they can get married really soon after he asks instead of having to wait until we find a place.

Several days later Cody and Jimmy rode into the yard. Both looked like they had been to hell and back but as soon as they saw me and Buck they smiled and just nodded their heads. The deed was done. That bastard would never hurt another girl ever again. Jimmy pulled Buck aside and told him exactly how it went down. Buck then went into the bunkhouse where Lou was at by herself. Just a few minutes later Lou burst out of the bunkhouse doors tears streaming down her face as she flew to Jimmy and Cody literally jumping into Cody's arms first and hugging him tightly before she went to Jimmy doing the same thing. The only sound that could be heard was Lou quietly saying 'Thank you' over and over again.

"We told ya Lou we'd take care of him." Cody said.

"And trust me; we weren't the only ones that wanted to go after him. We were all ready to ride there but Teaspoon wouldn't let Buck and Noah go because if they got caught we knew they wouldn't even be given a trial. So Teaspoon sent me cause of my reputation and Cody along with me in case I got in trouble." Jimmy replied.

Lou pulled away from them both her face paling. "You told Teaspoon?"

Jimmy immediately realized his mistake. "No! Sam and Teaspoon figured out something was wrong and Sam put two and two together to figure it out. Trust me they wanted a piece of him too."

Buck came forward then and put his hand on Lou's shoulder; she turned to him and snuggled closer. "I just wish I'd been the one to do it." he said softly to her.

"It's probably better it was Jimmy, Buck. With his being 'Wild Bill' people wouldn't think twice about him gunning someone down, no offense Jimmy. But if you'd a done it, they would have strung ya up cause of your heritage." Lou told him looking in his eyes.

Buck just smiled and gave her a soft kiss before turning to shake Jimmy's hand again. Then he led Lou back into the bunkhouse. Now that this was truly behind her I knew that Lou would be alright from now on. She was completely safe here with us. That bastard would never hurt her or anyone again. I knew it wouldn't be long before Buck put a ring on her finger. I smiled before I turned to help Jimmy and Cody with their horses. I started whistling a happy tune as I brushed them down. Life was good.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the wait, I'll try to do better for the next chapter. My mind has been coming up blank on this story. I hope this chapter made up for the wait.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Buck's POV**

After the boys returned with the news that Wicks was dead life was good. Lou seemed to be happier than any of us had ever seen her. As comfortable as she was around us none of us realized how afraid she always was that he would somehow find her and come after her. We were also relieved to find out that Lou was not pregnant, though I have to admit I was slightly disappointed. I wanted to be a father and I wanted Lou to be the mother of my children, but I knew it was for the best that she wasn't pregnant before we got married. However since we had crossed that line it had become harder to keep from doing it again. In order to protect Lou's reputation, we made sure we were always around other people and if we were alone it was never more than for a few minutes, it kept us honest.

About a month after we found out that Lou wasn't having my baby I was asked by the army to help them retrieve some captives that the Lakota-Sioux held. I wasn't exactly thrilled about that and in fact I pretty much refused to do it until Cody came barging in wanting to do it. The only reason I finally relented was because I thought I might be able to keep blood from being shed. Boy was I wrong.

Everything was going fine as we rode into the camp with the white flag; all the warriors were out on a hunting trip most likely. The one lone elder warrior thought he was protecting his tribe when he fired an arrow and struck one of the army men. All hell broke loose after that with the army opening fire. Me and the captain tried to rain them in but they didn't seem to hear us. I tried to get as many of the women and children to safety before the gunfire finally stopped. There were a lot of dead women and children when the smoke finally cleared. I was sickened by the sight. I knew I should never have agreed to help.

On the way back to Sweetwater the army stopped to make a temporary camp so we could treat the injured and have lunch. I made up an herb mixture to treat this blonde girl who had been shot when she tried to ride off on my horse. The girl's name was Eagle Feather or Jenny as her mother called her. She was not at all happy that she had been rescued. She had lived with the Lakota for so long that she had basically become one. Her skin maybe white but her heart was Lakota. And then I got the shock of my life when I found out that Tompkins was her father.

When we finally got back into town I went into the general store to get Tompkins. As usual he was not happy to see me in the slightest bit. But I finally managed to get him to come outside with me. He seemed thrilled to be reunited with his lost family until he saw that his wife had a half breed son. He told them to leave and stormed off. I went after him and of course he insulted me. I didn't understand how he could turn his family away just because of the boy. I mean if my family had been missing for seven years I sure as hell would want them back. I said as much to him but he didn't care.

I took Sally and Jenny and little Two Ponies back to the station. Emma and Rachel put them up in the main house. Lou and Ike took to Two Ponies immediately. I had to laugh at my brother; he was a natural when it came to children. Sally went back to her white ways as soon as she was settled but Jenny was having none of it. She even tried to steal a horse to return to the Lakota but I stopped her and let me tell you she was pissed that I had. She said I shamed my Kiowa blood by helping the army. That I had forgotten my heritage. I told her my heart would always be Kiowa but I had learned to live in the white world and that she needed to learn as well.

It took sometime but eventually Jenny came around and made an effort to return to her old life. When the chief of the Lakota tribe wanted Sally and his son back she returned and I took Jenny after her. It was a tense situation but in the end the Chief agreed to allow Sally and Jenny to return to the white world if that was their wish, his son however would be raised Lakota. I knew Sally still loved Tompkins but she didn't want to leave her son and Tompkins didn't seem to want her anymore. The chief really seemed to care about her so in the end Jenny and her mother decided to stay with the Lakota. Sally gave me a message to give to Tompkins and then they were gone, the Lakota moved camp in case the army came after them again.

I returned to Sweetwater and delivered the message to Tompkins. He read it while I was still standing there. That was the only time I had ever seen the man cry. He looked up at me with complete anguish written on his face.

"I just made the biggest mistake of my life." Tompkins stated. I just looked at him. "I let my own prejudices push my family away. I'll never see them again will I Buck?"

"I don't know … maybe one day they will return to you, the chief said it would always be their choice. I could take a message to them if you ever wanted me to. The Lakota camp has moved but I could always find it again." I offered.

Tompkins looked down at the letter in his hand and then back up at me. "If you ever come across them again… tell Sally and Jenny that I love them and want them to come back. Tell them I'll try to be better."

"I'll tell them. I understand now what you have against me, even if I'm not of the same nation that took them from you, I'm still an Indian." I replied.

Tompkins looked up at me and for the first time ever I thought I saw a look of respect on his face before he gave me a weak smile, "I'm sorry Buck. You're a good man and I should have given you a chance to prove that instead of judging you on your skin."

I gave a soft laugh, "Nobody's perfect Tompkins. I better get back to the station."

With that I left and returned to my family. After I told them what had happened they were really surprised about Tompkins change in attitude. But I wasn't sure how long his new acceptance of me would last … probably until the next round of Indian trouble.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: I'm just going to warn you now that you are probably going to hate me after this chapter. I just want to say I'm soooo sorry, I rewrote this five times, and it still ended up happening this way. But just so you know things will be fine again soon.**

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><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

After Jenny and Sally returned to the Lakota things settled back down. Life was perfect for Buck and Lou, Sam and Emma were expecting their first baby. Even Teaspoon and Rachel seemed to be getting cozy. All of the boys had girls in town that they were courting, nothing serious but still they had the girls. Even Noah did. I was the only one that didn't have a girl and I was getting so sick of it.

Everywhere I went people treated me like a freak or a dummy. I was in town one day with Buck and Noah getting supplies when an old lady asked the time. I managed to get her to understand the time but when she needed directions some where she just couldn't understand me. I tried to get her to come with me so I could take her but she wanted nothing to do with me. I heard Buck shout something about me not being contagious but I didn't care. It's been like this for as long as I can remember.

When we returned to the station I sought out Sampson my donkey. Even when I couldn't talk to Buck about things, I could always talk to him. That's where Buck found me later.

"You want to talk about it Ike?" Buck asked leaning against one of the post.

I just shook my head, "it doesn't matter."

"Don't let it get to you buddy …. Besides Noah was right, you are pretty ugly." Buck said teasing me, to get a laugh.

I just tossed something at him that he dodged easily moving past me knocking my hat. I knew he was just trying to cheer me up but it didn't help. I was tired of having to rely on other people to communicate. I wanted a chance to prove myself so when Teaspoon had an important job that needed doing, I volunteered only for Teaspoon to tell Buck to go with me.

This of course defeated my purpose so I slipped out during the middle of the night without him. I should have just taken him with me. The man I was sent to was supposed to sign a contract about water rights but as soon as he found out I couldn't speak he gave me a hard time. He ended up having his goons beat the living hell out of me and dumped me in the alley by the saloon. One of the girls found me and took me to her house to get me cleaned up.

She was sweet woman, older heavy set. She had lost her bloom from hard living, so even though she was probably once a beauty it had faded. She let me stay at her house that night but when a fire started I tried to get her out but she was trapped. I needed help, I tried to go to the marshal to get help but they didn't understand me. By the time they realized her house was one fire it was too late, she was dead. They put me in jail thinking I started the fire. If Buck and a couple of the other boys hadn't showed up I don't know what would have happened.

I was released and was allowed to return home but things just spiraled downhill after that. I was angry with everybody. I was angry with myself. If I could have just spoken that woman would not be dead. She had showed me a kindness and I could do nothing to help her. I was pissed. At myself, at that town, at my friends because they could talk and I couldn't. I was pissed that they were happy and I wasn't.

This had been going on for a month and nothing had changed. Buck finally got tired of it and cornered me in the barn.

"Ike we need to talk."

"I don't want to, just leave me alone" I signed in anger.

"I've been leaving you alone, it's not helping. What happened to that lady wasn't your fault. But you can't just push everybody away. You have friends and a family that care about you."

"What do you know Buck. You would have been able to help her. People don't think you're a dummy, you would have been able to get help." I signed in frustration.

"Ike it wasn't your fault. You need to get past this." Buck said putting his hand on my shoulder.

I turned and hit him in the jaw knocking him down. I threw my hands up. I couldn't believe I just hit Buck. I had never hit Buck. He was my brother, he had been with me through everything. He had given me a voice. He was just trying to help and I hit him. I couldn't believe it. I rushed from the barn and jumped on my horse riding away. I needed to get out of there.

I went into to town and straight to the saloon. I didn't return to the station until much later and by then I was pretty drunk. Everybody was waiting on the porch of the main house when I got there. Teaspoon told me he'd had enough. I needed to straighten up or get going. They all went back into the house leaving me to think. I just went to the barn.

I wasn't in there very long when I felt a presence at first I figured it was Buck, so when I turned to the person I was surprised it was Lou.

"What do you want?"

"To help you." Lou said coming closer to me.

"I don't need your help Lou."

"I think you do Ike. I understand believe me. You are feeling worthless and useless, I know those feelings well. You think no one is ever going to want you. That's not true." Lou stated; she was kneeling in front of me by this time.

I just looked at her, reading her eyes. She did know exactly what I was feeling. And then I did something I never thought I would do, I leaned forward and kissed her. If I wasn't drunk I would never have done it. She was my brother's girl. I was betraying my brother by doing this but I couldn't stop myself.

Lou pushed against me, "Ike please."

I pulled back and looked at her, she looked scared. I cursed myself for scaring her. "I'm sorry Lou. I didn't mean too, I … I'm just tired of being alone. I just want to feel something, to be wanted for a change."

Lou's eyes searched mine and then I saw a look of determination on her face before she leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine again. I knew I should push her away, but I couldn't I pulled her close. I needed to feel close to someone, I needed to feel loved. I don't know how long we kissed like that but we had somehow ended up in a pile of the fresh hay and my shirt had been taken off. Lou didn't let me touch her but she touched me. She showed me what it was liked to be loved. She gave me something I never thought I would have, a feeling of being worthy of the love of a woman.

I knew Lou didn't feel for me like that, and I didn't feel for her like that. I didn't have sex with her but Lou did do things to me that I'm sure Buck isn't going to be thrilled about if he finds out. I can't let him find out. What I allowed Lou to do to me betrayed Buck. We had both betrayed him.

When I woke the next morning I was still in the barn but Lou was gone. I sat up and looked around for her but all I saw was Buck sitting on a bale of hay looking at me. The look on his face was indescribable but I knew he knew.

"Did you sleep with her?" Buck asked me quietly.

"No."

"But you did other things with her." Buck stated; it wasn't a question.

I couldn't lie to Buck. I wanted too, I didn't want him to know I had betrayed him with the one woman he loved but I couldn't. "Yes … I'm sorry Buck, I didn't mean for it to happen, I was drunk."

Buck just nodded and got up and left. I couldn't help but feel that I had just lost the best friend I've ever had. God how could I have been so stupid. I poured myself back into my job after that. I couldn't leave here; I had to make things right between me and Buck. I had to make things right with Lou. I just had no clue how I was going to do that now.

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><p><strong>AN: So does everybody hate me now? This is probably going to be the last update until after New Year's so I hope everybody has a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's, and to those of you who are Jewish, Happy Hanukah. *Did I spell that right*. **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Ok sorry it took so long to update guys but this chapter was kicking my butt. I don't know how many times I rewrote it before I finally liked how it turned out. Still Buck, Lou, and Ike have some issues they sitll have to work out but all in all things are looking better in this chapter.**

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><p><strong>Buck's POV<strong>

I left the barn feeling like a hole had been punched through my chest. My best friend, my brother had betrayed me with the one woman I loved more than anything. How could they do this to me? I was beyond angry, I was furious, I was hurt. And what was worse is I couldn't really be mad at Ike. He was drunk; I know if he had been sober he wouldn't have done it. But Lou wasn't drunk, she was completely sober when she went into that barn and decided to betray me with my best friend. I knew I needed to talk to her, but I also knew if I talked to her at this moment I would say something I was bound to regret. So in order to avoid the inevitable conversation we were bound to have, I traded runs with Noah and took off.

The run I went on was a two day run so I had plenty of time to think. I was still mad, I was still hurt but I loved them both. I knew Ike didn't have feelings for Lou like that, and I knew Lou loved me. I knew I wanted to marry Lou but I didn't want to forgive her just yet. I didn't want to forgive either of them just yet. I still had no idea what I was going to say to Lou. I just prayed to the spirits that whatever happened we could work things out in the long run, I needed Lou and my brother by my side.

When I returned to the station Ike was mucking stalls in the barn. I don't know how long I stood there before he noticed me. When he finally looked in my direction, he paled and swallowed hard. I didn't realize I was looking at him like I could gladly kill him until he reacted that way. I took a deep breath and let out a long sigh.

"Ike I understand you were drunk. I know you wouldn't have betrayed me if you were sober. But you still betrayed me and I'm still mad about that. What you two did hurt me more than I can say. You're my brother Ike and I love you like one but right now I can barely look at you. I know you're sorry, and I know you won't do anything like this again. I forgive you but I can't forget and it's going to take me a while before I will be able to trust you again. But I know we will be alright in time, we've been through too much together to let this ruin our friendship."

"I'm so sorry Buck. I swear I will make this up to you somehow." Ike signed, tears in his eyes.

"Just be the friend I know that you are and we will be fine." I replied before giving him a man hug.

Once again I left Ike in the barn. I felt better for having cleared the air between us. I was still hurt, but I knew that are friendship would survive this. We were more than friends we are brothers. Not by birth obviously but that doesn't mean our bond wasn't as strong if not stronger than blood.

"Howdy Buck, did ya have a good run?" Emma called from the porch of her house where she and Rachel were shelling peas.

"Yes ma'am, I needed to get away for a few days." I replied walking closer.

Rachel looked me up and down. "Well why don't you go get cleaned up and then I'll get you a piece of my chocolate cake."

"No thanks Rachel. Do you know where Lou is I need to talk to her?" I asked looking at the two women that had become a mother and sister to me.

"Last I saw her she was headed towards the swimming hole. Did you two have a fight before you left Buck cause she's been mighty down in the mouth for the past few days." Emma replied eyeing me carefully.

"Something like that Emma." I mumbled.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with why Ike has been working himself to the bone too would it?" Rachel asked.

Damn these two are way too observant. "I'd rather not talk about it. I've already talked to Ike now I need to fix things with Lou."

"It will all work out Buck. They both love you and have been miserable knowing that they hurt you. Ike's been blaming himself and Lou won't even speak to anybody. She looks like all she does is cry. Now I don't know exactly what happened but I can guess that Lou tried to comfort Ike when he came home drunk and things got out of hand. Just don't be too hard on her Buck that's all I'm saying. Lou has a big heart and she hates to see people hurting." Emma told me.

"I know Emma. I'm going to go talk to her now. Can you make sure we aren't disturbed? This isn't a conversation I want the guys to be aware of."

"Sure thing Buck, we'll keep them boys busy." Rachel replied with an understanding smile.

Leaving the two women on the porch I made my way to the swimming hole, going through what I would say to her in my mind. As I approached the water I didn't hear the sounds of swimming instead I heard a woman crying. I knew right away it was Lou. Hearing her heartbreaking sobs broke my heart even more. When she finally came into view, I saw her sitting on the bank with her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms laying across them with her head buried in her arms. Her shoulders shook with her sobs. I made my way over to her quietly; squatting down beside her I put a hand on her shoulder.

I felt Lou stiffen under my touch but she didn't make a move to raise her head. She didn't even acknowledge who I was, she just continued crying softly.

"Louise look at me please." I whispered my voice strained with emotion.

Lou took a gasping breath when she realized who it was next to her. She slowly raised her face to look at me. Her eyes were bloodshot, tears left dirty streaks down her face. Her lower lip was still trembling, but I still thought she was beautiful.

"Lou I know why you did what you did. I don't understand completely why you did it. I know you were just trying to make him feel better but what you two did hurt me more than I can say. I love you and you betrayed me with my best friend and brother. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again Lou. I don't know if my heart is strong enough to survive this again." I said to her the last coming out in a whisper.

"Buck please … I … I love you. I wasn't thinking I was just trying to help Ike. I hated seeing him in pain. After I realized what I had done, I felt sick. Please forgive me. I swear I won't ever do it again. Please don't leave me." Lou said her voice breaking at the end.

I sighed, "I'm not going anywhere Lou but I think until I can trust you again that we need to take a break. I … I just can't deal with this right now."

As I was getting to my feet Lou stopped me, pulling me to her. She crushed her mouth to mine; pouring every bit of love and passion she had into that single kiss. As much as I knew I should push her away I couldn't. I pulled her closer to my body. One of my hands working its way into her hair the other going around her waist pulling her even closer. She still wasn't close enough so I moved my hand lower and urged her to jump and wrap her legs around my waist. She did so without hesitating. I ran my tongue along her lower lip and she opened her mouth to receive it.

I got lost in that kiss. I couldn't let this woman go. She was everything to me; I needed her more than I needed food to eat. I knew in that moment we weren't going to take a break. I was going to make this woman my wife as soon as possible. As our kiss deepened I lowered Lou to the ground, my body resting over hers. My want and need for her obvious. I couldn't stop myself from pressing my desire against her center. Lou bit back a choked moan at the sensation. I knew we needed to stop before we went too far again but I couldn't. I needed her.

"Please Buck … don't leave me … please I need you." Lou gasped out as I continued to rub against her.

"I'm not leaving … I can't Lou… I need you too." I gasped back, my breathing harsh. I needed more than this torturous pleasure.

"Make love to me Buck… I need you to." Lou whispered.

At that what little self-control I had left broke. In a matter of minutes I had removed both of our clothing and had entered Lou. I wish I could say I was gentle with her but I wasn't. I took Lou rough and fast but she didn't stop me, if anything she encouraged it. When we were both spent I collapsed onto the ground next to her breathing hard.

Once I caught my breath I leaned up on my elbow to look at her. She already had bruises forming on her neck and chest from where I sucked and nibbled on her. The bite mark on her shoulder though was like a slap in my face.

"Damn it Lou! I so sorry, I didn't mean to get carried away." I cried out sickened by my actions.

Lou opened her eyes startled by my voice and grinned sheepishly as she took in my appearance. "Well if I look half as bad as you do, we are going to be teased from now till hell freezes over."

At her words I took a look at myself and couldn't hold back my laughter. My chest and arms were covered in scratches and bite marks. I'm sure my shoulders and back was in the same state. "I guess we both got carried away, although I can honestly say I didn't scratch you."

Lou just grinned. "Come on we best be getting back for the boys come looking for us."

I nodded my head and got to my feet, helping Lou to hers as well. After we took a quick swim to get cleaned up we both dressed and then walked hand in hand back to the station. Only Ike and Rachel were outside when we walked up. Rachel took one look at us and started cracking up laughing.

"Well now I guess ya'll done worked things out just fine." Rachel snickered.

We both just blushed and walked into the bunkhouse. Yeah we still had some issues to work out but I knew we'd be okay in the long run. And once I put a ring on Lou's finger I was going to buy her a home and get her siblings out of the orphanage.

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><p><strong>AN: Ok Just going to let you know it may be a little while again before I update. I'm in the middle of moving to a larger home. We are finally getting our of our sardine tin we call home for a larger three bedroom brick house. Yay! no more really small two bedroom trailer. Anyway I'll try to get an update to you sometime next week if I dont get one done this weekend. And as always you guys are the best! This story is the most reviewed one I've ever written, it makes me feel good.**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Sorry girls I meant to get this chapter up yesterday but I don't think I even sat down at all yesterday until almost eight o'clock at night. But I'm officially moved into a bigger house and completely unpacked! So I will be able to focus more on my writing. Oh and this story is quickly coming to a close. And as always I want to thank all my loyal readers and reviewers you girls are the best!**

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><p><strong>Ike's POV<strong>

It's been almost three months since the incident in the barn. Buck and Lou's relationship has had some rocky moments but they seem to be working things out nicely. It took a while but my relationship with Buck is almost back to where it was before I betrayed him. I don't know if I will ever completely forgive myself for that, nor if Buck ever will but we have moved past it.

All three of us have continued putting back money for our own land and to get Lou's siblings out of the orphanage. In fact me and Buck are supposed to be meeting with the bank manager in two days to see about buying a piece of property right next door to Emma's land. There is already a house and some out buildings on it, they just need a little work but we've got plenty of help for that.

The express is quickly coming to an end but our family have all made arrangements to stay in Sweetwater or the nearby area. Kid actually married the girl he has been courting for the past few months. That one surprised us cause he didn't even bother to tell any of us he was getting hitched, in fact we've only met her once. I think her name was Dorothy or Dorthia maybe? I don't know something like that. She's from Kid's hometown in Virginia, even she can't remember Kid's real name. Kinda crazy if you ask me, marrying someone when you don't even know their real name, I know Kid is hiding things in his past, I just hope it's just painful memories, but since this girl has known him much of his life she probably knows all about it. Kid plans on taking over the livery in town.

Noah is going to marry a girl name Cassie. She's really nice, a former slave but was set free. She runs a small laundry business in Sweetwater to support herself. Buck, Lou, and I have already talked to Noah about him coming to work with us on the ranch. We even talked about making him a partner. Noah agreed to come to work for us for the time being but eventually he wants to settle on his own land with Cassie and just live off the land. He just doesn't have enough money yet so will need the work.

Sam and Emma are doing great. Sam is continuing marshaling in Sweetwater and Emma is still being the mother we all needed. Sam can't keep the smile off of his face every time he sees her rounded belly. None of us can really; Emma is going to be a great momma. I know she is looking forward to us buying that property next to hers because its will keep her Loulabelle close.

Jimmy has even decided to stay in Sweetwater; he's going to be working as Sam's deputy. He's been courting this girl named Jenna for a few months now and it looks like Mr. 'Wild Bill' is going to be hanging up hist hat and settling down soon. I hope so for Jimmy's sake, if he doesn't put 'Wild Bill' to rest someone might just put him to rest … permanently.

Now Cody being Cody is the only one not staying around Sweetwater. He went and signed up as a scout for the army. None of us were happy about that especially Teaspoon and Buck. Teaspoon because Cody isn't prepared for the horrors he's going to see riding for the army and Buck because the army is going to use the skills that Buck taught Cody to hunt down Buck's people. Yeah Cody didn't even think about that when he signed up, now he has no choice to work for them until his contract is up in two years. At which point he says he is going to come back to Sweetwater and settle down near family.

Rachel and Teaspoon up and got married last week. Lucky number seven for Teaspoon, hopefully this one will work out. Rachel seems happy with Teaspoon and is putting her many skills to use at the Saloon that they just took over in Sweetwater. Rachel is turning it into a real classy establishment. And Teaspoon is making sure that nobody causes problems while they are there.

Now as for me well I've actually been courting this girl named Emily Metcliffe. She moved to a small farm outside of Sweetwater with her Pa about four months ago. Not even a month after they moved here her father was killed in a card game when he was caught cheating, at least the guy claimed he was cheating. The other players swore that the man who shot him was the one actually cheating and that Emily's dad called him on it. Needless to say Sam arrested him and he was tried for murder. He was found guilty.

Emily is a lot like Lou. Strong, independent, fiery temper, sweet natured, loyal, and completely beautiful, she was determined to make her farm work on her own, so when me and the boys found out about what happened to her pa we went out to her farm to help her. That was the first time I had ever met her. The moment I saw her in her pa's clothes dirt smeared across her face as she plowed a field I knew she was the girl I was going to marry. At first she didn't want to accept our help but in the end she did. It took me about a month to get up the courage to ask her to go to a dance with me, and to my surprise she gladly accepted. We've been officially courting ever since.

So as soon as me and Buck sign those papers at the bank in two days I know not only is Buck going to propose to Lou but I'm going to be asking Emily to marry me. Oh and I forgot to mention that Emily and Lou get along great. And the house that is on the property we are looking into is huge. Enough room for the four of us and Lou's siblings. Plus there is still room for any children that might come along before we can build an additional house.

Two days later I'm in the barn saddling mine and Buck's horses for our trip into town when Lou comes in to saddle hers.

"Hey Ike." Lou called cheerfully as she went about saddling Lightning.

I watched her as she worked. I could tell she was excited about what me and Buck were doing today but there was something worrying her as well. I moved closer so I could tap her shoulder to get her attention. "Lou you alright?"

"I'm fine Ike…" Lou started before looking around the barn to make sure we were alone, "actually I'm excited and completely terrified all at the same time."

"I understand why you're excited but why are you terrified?" I signed confused.

"I umm well it's umm I've got an appointment at the doctors while you boys are at the bank, Emily is coming with me." Lou stuttered and then rushed out in one breath.

"Are you sick Lou?"

"Promise you won't say anything?" Lou asked and I nodded my head. "I think I might be pregnant. I've missed my last two cycles and I've been feeling poorly but not all the time it just comes and goes. I done talked to Emma and Rachel and they both think I am so I asked Emily to go with me to the docs to confirm it. Don't say anything please Ike."

I just stared at her in shock for a few minutes. I mean I knew that could always be a possibility. I mean since Buck and Lou worked things out they didn't bother to stay around other people. They've been intimate frequently since that day they came home all scratched and bruised up. I realized I was still just staring at Lou, she was fidgeting nervously. I just smiled and pulled her into a hug. "I swear I won't say anything to Buck. It's your news to tell but I for one know Buck is going to be over the moon when he finds out."

Lou smiled and went back to work on saddling Lightning while I went to finish up with Buck's horse. We both had just finished when Buck walked into the barn.

"Lou whatcha doing?" He asked when he saw her saddled horse.

"Oh I've got some things to do in town with Emily while you boys go and buy our land." Lou replied with a secretive smile.

"Alright, how about we all have lunch in town after we finish to celebrate?" Buck asked

"Sounds like a plan to me, Ike?" Lou said turning to me, I nodded.

With that we all rode into town. Splitting up and going into opposite directions when we arrived. The bank and the doctor's office weren't that far apart so I knew Lou was just trying to hide where she was going from Buck. I saw her meet up with Emily just before we arrived at the bank.

I don't know how long we were in there when finally we were the proud owners of what we were going to call the Cross M Ranch. The Cross part obviously for Buck and the M part for McSwain, McCloud, and once I marry Emily, Metcliffe. Although technically Lou will be a Cross and Emily a McSwain, but Lou's siblings are McCloud so that part will be the same.

We had just walked out of the bank manager's office when two gunmen entered the bank to rob it. They spotted us right after we had drawn on them. It all happened so quick one minute there was two of them, the next one is down on the ground dead from the shot to the head that came from Buck's gun and then as I was fixing to fire on the other my gun jammed. I knew I was a goner when he smirked and leveled his gun at me. But when I heard the sound of the gun going off, the only pain I felt was from landing on the ground. I realized at that moment Buck had pushed me out of the way. A second shot sounded almost immediately. I looked to see the gunman fall to the ground as Sam walked in the bank.

I looked back to where Buck had been standing to find him lying on the ground with a wound to his chest. He took the bullet meant for me. He can't die, he can't. Hang on Buck please you can't leave me. You can't leave Lou. I thought over and over. With help from Sam, the bank manager, and a couple of other men that were in the bank we got Buck to the doctor all the while keeping pressure on the wound. We arrived just as Lou and Emily were walking out. Lou took one look at Buck and screamed. Emily wrapped her arms around Lou's waist to keep her from rushing to Buck's side. Once we got him into the Doctor's surgery he ordered us all out.

It didn't take long for the rest of the family to show up on the doc's porch. Lou was sitting with Emily crying softly. I was sitting near her with my head in my hands. This is all my fault. He took the bullet meant for me. Buck can't die, he just can't. I can't lose him. God please don't take him too, isn't it enough that you took the rest of my family. I repeated this to myself over and over. When I realized I didn't hear the sounds of the rest of our makeshift family I looked up to find them all staring at me with looks of complete shock on their faces.

What in the world are they staring at? I wondered to myself. Or at least I thought it was to myself until Lou got up and flung herself into my arms.

"Ike you're talking! Didn't you realize it?" Lou said in complete shock and surprise.

I just stared back at her just as shocked. "He can't die Lou. I can't lose him too." I actually whispered to her.

"Buck ain't going to die Ike. He's got too much to live for. We've got our land now. He's got all of his family. He's got you. He's got me. And in about seven months or so he's going to have a baby as well." Lou whispered the last part but everybody heard.

"Merciful God." I heard Teaspoon muttered when they all realized that Lou was pregnant with Buck's child.

I just pulled her close and held her for a few minutes. She had just pulled away when the doctor came out wiping his bloody hands on his apron.

Swallowing hard I stood up and walked over to him. "How is he doc?" I asked.

The doctor looked at me surprised before opening his mouth to answer.

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><p><strong>AN: Does everybody hate me for leaving it there?**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: I didn't leave everybody hanging for too long did I?**

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><p><strong>Buck's POV<strong>

This morning had been going so well. Ike and I had just signed the papers making us and Lou the proud owners of the property next to Emma's, the soon to be home of the Cross M Ranch. As we were leaving the bank managers office, two gunmen walked in to rob the bank. My gun cleared its holster before I even had time to think and one gunman was down from the shot to the head that I had given him. I hadn't even realized I had fired. I saw Ike pull his gun and pull the trigger aimed at the second man but his gun jammed. As the second gunman leveled his gun at Ike's chest I acted without thinking. I pushed Ike out of the way just as the gun fired. The pain ripped into me, suffocating me from the intensity.

Just before I succumbed to the blackness I could have sworn I heard Ike telling me I couldn't leave him, that I couldn't leave Lou. But that's not possible.

I felt myself floating, like my body was no longer holding me to the earth. I opened my eyes and could see the doctor working on a body, my body. How the hell am I seeing this? The image sifts and I'm standing in my childhood Kiowa village. My mother standing in front of me with a sad smile on her face.

"Hello my son." She said softly.

"Mother? But how … you're dead… am I dead?" I asked confused as to why my mother was standing before me.

"No my son you are not dead. Your body is weak and struggling to hold onto your life force but your spirit is strong. It is up to you my son whether you go back to your body or stay here with me. But know this Running Buck you are not meant to be here yet." My mother said as she moved closer to me placing her hand on my arm.

"You have grown into a fine young man, a great warrior. You have made me proud. Know that I never regretted giving you life. I love you my son, but your place is not here, not yet. You have found your place in the world. You have found a place amongst those that you call family. The woman Emma has become a mother to you when you needed one, I'm not jealous of your love for her, I rejoice in that fact. The one you call Teaspoon has been the father you needed, teaching you things that a father should. You gained a sister in the one called Rachel and among the females associated with the ones you call brothers. The silent one has a bond closer to you than any I have ever seen. You gave him a voice when he had none, and now his fear of losing you has loosened his tongue and his voice has returned, you gave him his real voice back. But even so the one that needs you most, the one you must stay for is the young woman who holds your heart. She loves you, this Lou, and in the coming months she will need you by her side, your child will need his father." My mother continued talking to me.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Yes these people had become my family I had known that. But what she was saying about Ike finding his voice had me reeling, and then the talk of Lou. But the one fact that had me shaking, "My… My child?" I stammered out.

My mother smiled a breathtaking smile that I remembered from my childhood, it was one that I very rarely saw but I knew it was one that meant she was extremely happy and proud of me. "Yes my son, your child. Your woman carries your child in her womb even now. It is going to be a girl. Now you must fight my son, you must return to your family. They need you. I will be here always watching over you and your family, and when the time comes I will be here to welcome you home. Now go, Running Buck, and know I love you always."

The vision faded and I felt the darkness weigh me down again. I slowly became aware of voices, muffled some since they were not in the room with me. I focus harder to hear the words spoken. I heard a voice I did not recognize say, "How is he doc?"

"I got the bullet out but he lost a lot of blood and has not woken up yet. But Buck is young, strong, and healthy. I have no doubt he will pull through fine." I heard the doctor respond.

"Can we see him?" Lou piped up. I could hear the tears in her voice.

"Yes but only two at the time at the most, he will need all the rest he can get, but I think if you talk to him it will bring him back to us sooner." The doctor replied.

"You two go ahead, he'll want you most." I heard Teaspoon say. I knew he had to be addressing Ike and Lou.

A few seconds later the door to the room I was in opened. I struggled to open my eyes but just could not do it yet. I felt a soft, small hand caress my face, I knew it was Lou. A slight smile graced my lips. The bed shifted as she sat next to me. I felt another shift as Ike sat on the other side of me. His hand placed on my shoulder.

"Buck you've got to fight. We need you too much. I need you too much, and your child needs you. I just found out for sure this morning, but in about seven months you'll be a daddy. Please open your eyes, come back to me." Lou pleaded.

I tried, I really tried to open my eyes but I just couldn't. I struggled to move my hand to let her know I heard but I only managed to twitch a finger but since I'm sure both of them were just staring at my face I know they didn't notice.

Then I heard a voice I didn't know but knew it was the one from outside. "Buck please I can't lose you too. You took the bullet that was meant to be for me, I'll never forgive myself if you died because of me. Please I wouldn't be able to stand it if I lost you too."

The voice cracked at the end. My mind wrapped around the words spoken. My vision had been right, Ike had found his voice. I still couldn't get my eyes to work but then I heard the doctor come back in to tell them that I needed my rest.

"No!" I managed to croak out, my eyes popping open to look at the two people who meant the world to me. "They stay."

"Buck!" Lou and Ike exclaimed together.

I smiled at them both. My hand reaching up to caress Lou's still flat stomach, my eyes searching hers as she nodded. I just grinned, before turning to face Ike. "I thought I was hearing things, but you really told me that I couldn't leave you or Lou back at the bank didn't you?"

Ike grinned, "I guess I did."

"How?" I asked. They both knew what I meant. They both just shrugged their shoulders.

"I think I can answer that question." The doctor said before coming to stand closer. "You lost your voice from the trauma of seeing your family killed did you not Mr. McSwain?"

"Yes, I remember that when my neighbor and the local lawman showed up I tried to tell them what I had seen but no sound came out. I haven't been able to talk since that day until now." Ike replied.

"Exactly, it was emotionally trauma. The fear and shock of nearly losing the one person you have left that you claim as family shocked your brain into allowing your voice to come back."

"But I think of the others as family too?" Ike said more of a question than a statement.

"That may be true, but you and Mr. Cross have been friends and brothers since you were children. He's the one that gave you a 'voice' again when he taught you Indian signs; he has been your brother since that day has he not. You two are as close as any blood brothers I have seen, if not closer. The fear of losing that bond is what did the trick."

We just smiled at each other before the doctor excused himself to let the rest of our family know that I was okay. He was going to send them home with the promise that they could see me in a few hours. "You know Lou; I think we are going to be in trouble." I said a few minutes later, a grin fighting to break free.

"Why is that Buck?" Lou asked looking at me strangely.

"If we thought Cody could talk the hind leg off a mule, now that Ike has his voice back he's going to make Cody look as quiet as a mouse." I snickered.

Lou giggled while Ike just looked playfully annoyed. "Hey I've got a lot of years to make up for!"

"We don't mind in the least do we Buck?" Lou asked.

"Nope, if I had known almost dying would be what gave you your voice back; I would have done it ages ago. I love you my brother." I said as I gripped Ike's arm.

"Well as much as I like being able to talk, I would have gladly gone the rest of my life in silence if I had known almost losing you would be what brought my voice back. I don't ever want to have to go through that again. And I love you too." Ike said leaning down to give me as tight of a hug as he could without hurting me.

When Ike pulled away I saw Lou crying softly. I reached up and pulled her down to lay next to me. "I love you more than anything Lou and I love that you are carrying my child. It's going to be a girl; I had a vision after I was shot. I saw my mother. She sent me back to you and our child and the rest of our family. She knew it wasn't my time yet, I was needed here. And she was right. Ike can you do me a favor and get something out of my shirt pocket?" I asked looking over at my brother.

He grinned and reached down into the pocket of my shirt that was lying on the floor waiting to be tossed away. Fortunately the pocket was on the opposite of where I was shot so it wasn't covered in blood. He pulled out the small velvet pouch and placed it in my hand before slipping out of the room.

I shifted so I could see Lou's face. "Lou this is for you." I said handing the pouch to her. Lou took it and pulled the strings apart so she could look inside; she turned the pouch over and emptied the contents into her open palm. A small simple silver band with a tiny turquoise stone sat in her hand. She stared down at it for full minute before her eyes found mine. "I was going to ask you when we went to lunch after settling things at the bank. But I think now is as good a time as any. Louise McCloud I love you, I want to start our life together, raise a family together, I came so close to leaving you today but know that I would never willingly leave you, I'll stay by your side as long as you want me there. Please will you marry me?"

Lou just continued to stare at me, her eyes filling with tears before she crushed her mouth to mine. She pulled back and slipped the ring onto her left ring finger. I reached up and brushed the tears away with my thumbs. "Is that a yes?"

"Of course it is you big fool, you really thought I would say no. I love you, you big doofus. I was scared to death when I thought I was going to lose you. Don't you ever do that to me again." Lou ranted but the last came out in a strangled whisper.

I just pulled her close and promised that I would never leave her side. Anywhere I went I would take her with me as long as she did the same with me. Eventually exhaustion won out and my eyes closed. When I came too it was to discover that Lou was still curled up to my side but a blanket had been thrown over us. I became aware of another person in the room and looked over to find Emma watching us both with a soft smile.

"Emma?" I whispered.

"I didn't want to wake her. You both just looked so sweet and content to be in each other's arms. Forget propriety you belong together. It's gonna be tough though. A white woman carrying a half breed's baby, but I know that Lou is strong enough to handle whatever the town throws at you both. Just know this Buck Cross you hurt her and you'll deal with me. Now with that being said, I love you just like you was my own. You and Lou both have the support of me, Sam, Teaspoon, and Rachel. Not to mention your brothers and their girls. So whatever this town might say know it don't matter at all to those that consider you family."

"Emma I love you too, thank you for being a mother to me and all the others when we needed one." I whispered my voice cracking. Emma just smiled as a tear fell from her eye. I was never one to show emotion to people, I protected myself that way, not let people in to hurt me but the woman sitting across from me had wormed her way into my heart just by being herself. "I asked Lou to marry me, she said yes."

"Of course she did, that girl loves you something fierce." Emma said like there was never any doubt.

"I had a vision; the baby is going to be a girl. Would you mind at all if we named her after you?" I asked suddenly nervous. What if Emma didn't want her name to be associated with a half breed's bastard?

Emma let out a strangled cry, her hand flying to her mouth. "You'd would do that?" I just nodded slightly confused by her reaction. "Buck I'd be honored to have your child named after me, and if you'll let me, I wanna be her grandma."

I laughed, "Emma I don't think you are old enough to be a grandmother but I'd love it if you want to be one to my child."

"Well that maybe so young man but that baby is gonna be my grandbaby whether I'm old enough to be a granny or not and I know Mr. Spoon will wanna be a gramps to her too!" Emma said with a slight giggle.

"You bet your bottom dollar that youngin's going be my grandbaby." Teaspoon said from the doorway with a large grin on his face.

"You three quit your yammering I'm trying to sleep, you know pregnant woman and all I need my rest." Lou said grumpily. Which just caused us all to laugh. The laugher causing me to groan from the pull of my stitches.

"Well now Mrs. Cain I believe we need to let these two love birds rest. Can I escort you to your fine husband?" Teaspoon said holding his arm out for Emma to take. Emma took it but stopped to bend down to kiss me and Lou both on our heads. Just before they walked out the door Teaspoon stopped and looked back at me, "I'll be proud to call your daughter my grandchild, just as I'm proud to call you son. "

As the man and woman that had become my parents left me and my soon to be wife alone I felt completely happy for the first time in my life. I had a family, I had a place to belong, I had a brother who had a voice once again, I had a woman who loved me, and I had a child on the way. Yes life was looking up.

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><p><strong>AN: And did anybody really think I would kill off Buck? Please he's my favorite there is no way I could write that even if I wanted too!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Ike's POV**

I left Buck and Lou with a smile on my face. My brother was going to be just fine and was going to marry the woman he loves. I still couldn't believe that he was going to be a father and that I had my voice back. I loved being able to speak again but what I told Buck was the truth, if I had known that nearly losing him would be what gave me my voice back, I would gladly have stayed a mute the rest of my life.

I found the rest of our makeshift family still waiting on the porch of the doctor's office. I quickly caught them up to speed and we all returned to the station. We would visit with Buck later, after him and Lou had some time alone.

That was two weeks ago and Buck has finally recovered enough of his strength to be able to come home. He is still pretty weak but he is getting stronger every day. And I am more than making up for my lack of a voice for past ten years or so. Emma, Rachel, and Lou are all pretty busy making the few wedding plans that are needed. Which isn't much since the ceremony was going to be held here at Emma's and Sam would officiate since he was the law in town. The only people who would be in attendance were us. Some of the town folks had been invited to attend but we highly doubted that they would be attending. As a surprise to Lou though, Jimmy and Kid had rode to St. Louis to get her kid brother and sister out of the orphanage and bring them home. Since we had bought the land and the house was already to move into thanks to the guys, it was time to bring them home.

Now I found myself with Buck walking into Tompkins' store, Buck wanted to buy Lou something special to give to her as a wedding gift and I was in there to buy a ring for Emily.

"Howdy boys, Buck it's good to see you up and around again." Tompkins called out when we entered.

Me and Buck shared a look, we were both clearly confused as to why Tompkins was being friendly with us, we weren't two of his favorite people.

"Mr. Tompkins." Buck said with a nod to the shopkeeper.

"So what can I do for you boys today?" Tompkins asked coming around the counter to stand closer to us.

"Well I'm looking for a special gift." Buck said slightly embarrassed. Even though the wedding was only a few weeks away, Lou still had not come out as Louise to the townsfolk.

"Would this special gift happen to be for a certain young lady that you are marrying in a couple weeks?" Tompkins asked with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"Uh yeah." Buck said, his forehead creasing, surprised that Tompkins knew about the wedding, it hadn't exactly been broadcasted around.

"Well I would say get the little lady a frying pan but knowing her she'd sooner hit you upside the head with it than cook with it." Tompkins said. I choked back a laugh at the look on Buck's face.

"No definitely not a frying pan." Buck agreed in a hurry.

"You know I've actually seen Lou eyeing this here cameo pin on more than one occasion. Maybe she would like to get it." Tompkins then said in all seriousness pointing out the small cameo on a gold chain.

We both looked it over and smiled. "Yes I think she will like it very much." Buck said as he took his money out.

"Here you go. And tell Lou that I wouldn't miss her wedding for the world."

"How did you know?" I finally had to ask.

Tompkins looked at me for a minute before shaking his head, "I heard the rumors that you got your voice back but I didn't believe it. And in answer to your question I knew from the second she walked into my store that she wasn't what she was pretending to be. And I knew about the wedding cause she came here and invited me just this morning. Sure looked pretty too in that pink dress. Ain't no wonder you boys have been keeping her secret, keep all the competition away. Hell if I was several years younger I'd probably been one of those competing for her."

"I have a feeling Lou didn't have as many people fooled as she thought she did." Buck mumbled under his breath.

"Now was there anything you needed Ike?" Tompkins asked changing the subject.

"I need a ring." I replied grinning.

"Reckon there's going to be another wedding before too long then."

"I sure hope so." I replied

"Of course there will be." Buck said confidently.

After about half an hour we finally settled on the perfect ring for Emily. It was actually pretty similar to the one Buck had bought Lou but instead of a turquoise stone it had a greenish color stone. Tompkins said he thought it was jade.

After our purchases were finally complete we went our separate ways. Buck back to the station and to Lou, me to the hotel that Emily had recently moved into after her farm sold. She just couldn't take care of it on her own. I think she also suspected I would be purposing soon, and since I was partnered with Buck and Lou in the ranch she knew I wouldn't want to take over her farm. Besides I'm not a farmer, I don't know the first thing about farming. It really was no surprise that the person who purchased her small farm was none other than Kid and his wife Dorthia. Kid grew up on a farm so he knew exactly what he was doing; he said he had always planned on having his own farm when he had the money.

Upon entering the hotel I went straight up to Emily's room. She opened the door almost immediately I suspected she had seen me coming out her window.

"Care to join me on a ride?" I asked with a smile.

"Of course Ike."

I offered her my arm which she readily took. Moments later we were outside the hotel and I was helping her up on my horse behind me. A short time later we were stopping at a small pond surrounded by willow trees. It was a beautiful spot. I dismounted and reached up to assist Emily down. She slid down into my arms, her body pressed up against mine in a way that she had never done before. I had to swallow hard because my mind automatically went in a direction it didn't need to be going. Emily licked her lips and I was lost. I crushed her mouth with mine.

I mean we had kissed before but never like this. Our previous kisses had always been chaste. There was nothing chaste about this kiss. This kiss was full of nothing but raw passion, lust, and love. I wanted her. I needed her. I had never truly been with a woman before but I know that is what I wanted and needed at that moment. Emily whimpered against my lips and I pulled back breathless to look in her eyes.

She was staring back at me as if seeing me for the first time. "I love you Ike but I've… I've never been with a man before." She whispered.

"I love you to Emily and I've never been with a woman before either. And as much as I want to be with you in that way that is not why I brought you out here." I said before placing a small distance between us to clear my mind.

Emily relaxed a little after I said and did that. "Why did you bring me out here then if it wasn't to try and seduce me?" she asked teasing.

"This." I said as I got down on one knee and pulled the ring from my pocket causing Emily to gasp and cover her mouth with both of her trembling hands. "I love you Emily and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to raise a family with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to do everything with you. Will you marry me?"

I watched as Emily's eyes filled with tears before they spilled out and slowly ran down her face. I was scared that I had rushed her, that she wasn't ready, that she would say no but then a breathtaking smile spread across her face as she nodded her head. "Yes." She whispered before I stood up and pulled her into my arms. After slipping the ring onto her finger I placed a soft kiss onto her lips.

We spent the rest of the afternoon there by that pond. It was there by that pond that Jimmy would say that I had officially become a man. I have to disagree with him about that, having 'relations' with a woman does not make you a man. What makes you a man is your actions and choices. I would say I've been a man since the day I left the mission with Buck. Maybe I even became a man the day I saw my family murdered. But either way I just spent the best afternoon of my life with the woman I love. I will say this though, Buck was right. It was definitely worth waiting on the right woman.

We returned to the station shortly before supper. Buck took one look at me and knew what I had been doing. I think all of the guys might have known but nobody said a word, they just offered congratulations about our engagement. Emily ended up staying the night with Lou, who was now sleeping in Emma's spare bedroom. Apparently 'Lou' was officially gone; she was now going to be Louise from now on, even if we all will still call her Lou just from habit.

Two weeks later I stood next to my best friend and brother as he married the woman of his dreams. Her brother Jeremiah stood next to me. Teresa and Emily were standing up with Lou and Teaspoon was giving the bride away. I was actually surprised that Buck was having a pretty traditional 'white' wedding. He explained to me that he had made his choice to live in the white world so he needed to do things in the white way if he and Lou were ever going to be truly accepted. He also said that he had sent word to Red Bear that he had found a woman and that when they left on their 'honeymoon' they were actually going to be meeting up with Red Bear who was going to perform a small Kiowa ceremony joining them in the Kiowa world as well.

A month after Buck and Lou were married I married Emily. Our wedding was actually pretty similar to theirs, the only difference was Emily had Rachel and Lou stand with her and I had Buck and Noah stand with me. After we returned from our wedding trip to St. Louis we moved into the ranch house that we had built next to Buck and Lou's house.

It wasn't long after that that the express came to an official end. Emma gave birth to a son a few months after my wedding, they called him Samuel Jr. we all just called him little Sam. Rachel announced shortly after that that she was pregnant. Teaspoon couldn't have been any prouder, we all just groaned at some of his comments. Then when Lou's time came she gave birth to a little girl, who had Buck's skin coloring and eyes but the rest was all Lou. They named her Emma 'Little Doe', but we just called her Em so there was no confusion.

About three months after little Em was born; Emily told me she was pregnant. She gave birth several months later to my son. We named him Hunter Isaac McSwain. Unfortunately the birth was so hard on Emily that the doctor cautioned her against having any more children. We were devastated by that news but we had each other, a healthy baby boy, and we were surrounded by family and friends. Life was good.

**Buck's POV**

I have lived a long life. It wasn't always an easy life, especially during my early years but the day I came upon that mission school was the day my life started looking up. I found a brother in Ike and together we found a family with those of us brought together by the Pony Express.

The Express has been ended close to sixty years. The family that we built together is all pretty much gone. Teaspoon was the first to leave us as he was the oldest. He had lived a long and full life and he lived to see his son turn five and to see several 'grandchildren' born. After his death Rachel was never really the same but she stayed with us until she died in her sleep one night almost twenty years after Teaspoon.

Jimmy had stayed around Sweetwater for several years but after things didn't work out for him and his wife he left town and took up the mantel of 'Wild Bill' again. He was gun down while playing poker. Shot in the back. The man who killed Jimmy was a coward; Jimmy never even saw it coming.

Sam and Emma both lived long full lives and got to witness their children growing up and getting married and having children of their own. Sam went first and Emma not even a year later. They've been gone almost twenty years now.

Noah and his family eventually moved away from Sweetwater after their farm was burned down five times. They just got tired of rebuilding. He stayed in touch for a long time but eventually the letters stopped coming. I can only pray to the spirits that Noah didn't meet his end hanging on a rope.

Kid and Dorthia stayed in Sweetwater for a few years but after the war ended and things started looking better for the south they decided to return to their homeland of Virginia. Dorthia ended up dying in childbirth not long after they returned to Virginia. Kid returned to work on the ranch after that, he never was the same. He did remarry, Lou's little sister. That was a little weird for me and Lou, but they were happy together. They ended up moving to California. Kid just recently passed leaving Teresa alone with their ten children and I can't remember how many grandkids.

Ike and Emily lived next door to us since the day they got married. After the birth of their son, Emily was told not to have any more children but she was just as stubborn as Lou. She did end up giving Ike a little girl. She gave her life giving Ike his daughter. Ike was heartbroken but we helped him through it. He had ten wonderful years with Emily. He named his daughter Emily Rachel. He couldn't bring himself to call her Emily so she went by her middle name. Ike remarried five years later to Jenny Tompkins of all people. Jenny had come back home a few years after the express ended with a half breed child of her own. Her husband had been killed and she just couldn't stand the thought of living amongst the Lakota without him. Her mother had died the year before from a snake bite. Ike died last year about three months after Jenny. I think he died of a broken heart.

Now it's the year 1917 and me and Lou just said goodbye to the last of our pony express family. William F. Cody, better known as Buffalo Bill to the world, but to us he was just Cody. We return to our ranch that has prospered over the years and is now currently being run by our children and grandchildren alongside Ike's children and grandchildren. We both know it won't be long until we are together with our family again. Because we had formed a bond with them unlike any other, a bond so strong that even death cannot break it. We both can't help but long for the day when we will ride with our brothers once more.

The End.

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><p><strong>AN: I want to thank everybody who has been following and leaving me such wonderful feedback on this story. It's was greatly appreciated. This story sure did go a completely different direction than I had intended it to go but I think it turned out great. Can't believe I got over a hundred reviews for it. Wow! You ladies are the best!**


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